Remember your first crush? Remember how you picked out the wedding colours and named the four kids you were going to have with them? Where are the kids now? LOL.
Remember these stages?
The discovery of the crush.
It could be a classmate, a colleague, a church member, a celebrity, or a random fellow netizen whose comment you saw somewhere and just tumbled in love with them. Symptoms will include; them living rent-free in your head, them taking lead roles in your fantasies about romance and you getting star struck anytime you run into them.
Then you go digging to find out as much material as you will be needing to build a credible fantasy about them. You search their social media handles, search the social media handles of other people they may have tagged, and even search the social media pages of people they may have gotten into an online squabble with. Just for good measure. The FBI has got nothing on your search skills.
The shameless drooling.
The more you discovered about them as you searched, the more they seemed like God’s plan for you. Their favorite color is white? Well, that makes sense because your favorite color is blue and everybody knows blue is the perfect color match for white. Their favorite food is fried rice? That’s another sign because you were planning to eat fried rice for dinner. This usually sounds like conspiracy theories though. Let’s not even talk about how much unhealthy time you spend watching their pictures.
The constant and sometimes illogical fantasizing.
You keep thinking about them and making up stories about you and them in your head. At this point, your friends probably think you are cray cray.
The diligent stalking.
You find a way to keep up with everything they do without actually ever making contact with them. They make a post, you gulp it up, they post a picture; you save it, they misyarn on a trending issue? You look away.
The rude wake up call.
Which could come in the form of a post about their actual boo/bae, their pre-wedding pictures, or their wedding invitation? But don’t be too sad for too long. You are most likely approximately 35 “God Whens” away from finding your own.
While you’re at it, we asked 12 Nigerians what their spec and here is what they told us.
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