8 Places To Shake Your Ass Now That Dubai Has Casted

June 29, 2021

Bad news: Dubai has suspended Direct Employment Visa for Nigerians.

For emphasis, in case you did not see it the first time: The United Arab Emirates has reportedly suspended Direct Employment Visa for Nigerians. Why? Because of the increasing crime rates involving Nigerians in the Middle-East country.

Ah!

In other words, if you have suffered for 19 years and you had plans to shake your ass in a thong on a yacht in Dubai, you might want to reconsider so that you will not enter Dubai and land in jail. You that it’s ordinary bum-bum you had plans to shake.

Anyway, we made a list of other places you can shake your ass, now that Dubai has casted.

1. Lekki Phase 1 when the flood comes.

Imagine climbing on top of that signpost and shaking your ass like you are competing in the Twerk Olympics. C’mon, Megan Thee Stallion from Admiralty way. You go, girl!

2. Tarkwa Bay.

Tarkwa Bay Surfers Displaced After Nigerian Navy Demolished Their Homes -  SURFER Magazine

Who needs a yacht when you can climb a speedboat and shoot out your bum-bum? If the desirable is not available, you make the available desirable. Aspire to papapa.

3. Eko Atlantic.

It’s kuku greed that is worrying you, honestly. Because why do you want to go to Dubai when you can enter Eko Atlantic? You sef, pronounce the name: EKO ATLANTIC. Omo, the way my bum-bum jiggles of its own accord whenever it hears that name!

4. Bar Beach.

If it’s not for civilization and oversabi, did we not all grow up shaking our asses in Bar Beach? Now that Dubai has suspended Direct Employment Visa for Nigerians, it might be time to return to our roots. This time, you don’t need a yacht. Just climb a horse and when it begins to gallop chukwudi-chukwudi-chukwudi, I am sure your bum-bum will not sit down and look. It will follow it to jiggle.

5. Oniru Beach.

It’s a private beach. You know what that means? YOU CAN EVEN BE NAKED AND NOBODY WILL CATCH YOU!

6. Abuja.

Jabi Boat Club | Visit Nigeria Now

Why go to Dubai when you can do your business at Jabi Boat Club in Abuja? First of all, you might be lucky and your jiggly derriere might attract a politician. Or a sugar daddy can be caught in the strap of your thong. Even better, you might get cocaine and oud as a souvenir.

7. Ikeja along.

Ikeja | Ikeja Along Bus Stop, Ikeja Lagos State Nigeria | Ju… | Flickr

Let it not be that we are recommending only areas with water for you. There is also Ikeja Along, if you prefer to shake your ass on dry land. A major benefit of this is that you cannot piss a mermaid off or drown by mistake.

8. Or maybe Ghana, since you are not satisfied with the country God put you in.

Just know that if Lai Mohammed hears that you, a bonafide citizen of the UAR, is shaking your God-given UAR ass in Ghana where Twitter is, you are in soup. And walahi talahi, Abike Dabiri-Erewa will look at you and comot eye. That’s the beginning of renewed suffering. Happy ass-shaking.

Also read:

9 Reasons Why Nigerian Men Must Never Wash Their Bum-Bum

9 Reasons Why Nigerian Men Must Never Wash Their Bum-Bum | Zikoko!
Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Kunle Ologunro

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 25, 2021

oraimo FreePods 3 Feature LeakFor a while now, oraimo has been cooking something awesome for her consumers, and it’s finally here. I guess it’s safe to say oraimo is like a fine wine that keeps getting better with time. When it comes to delivering a product that is not only affordable but also comes with […]

September 25, 2021

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 29-year-old bisexual woman who talks about deciding to have sex after a car accident, getting over sex guilt and how she started grading her male sexual partners.

Recommended Quizzes

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X