7 Things You Must Always Carry With You In Lagos

November 29, 2020

Lagos will stress you out. It will kill you and devour your bones. To prevent that from happening, here are some things you must always carry with you if you want to survive Lagos.

1. Pankere

For flogging people who walk anyhow in front of you without considering the fact that they’re on the main road and people are in a hurry. Just land them one fiam on their back and watch them fast forward like a DVD.

2. Pepper spray

Police reveals it is illegal to go about with pepper spray in Nigeria

For people who try to grope you anyhow or assume that they can touch you inappropriately.

Nigerian Pepper Mix (Ata Lilo) - My Active Kitchen

You can also use blended pepper as an alternative. Just store it in a plastic bottle and pierce the cap. If anybody tries nonsense with you, just squirt it in their eyes. Their father.

3. A bottle of your urine

What is a Pee Bottle? | How to Use Backpacking 101 - Greenbelly Meals

Same as the blended pepper recommendation too. Simply pierce the cap and spray away. Will be good for those car owners who splash mud on you and those danfo drivers who move too close to your car in traffic.

4. Extra leggings

Marvell College Female Leggings

Fight can break out anywhere in Lagos. You have to be prepared to japa.

5. Handbag to put your wig in.

Big tote bag - Woman | Mango Nigeria

Especially when you want to enter danfo. Imagine them stealing wig your wig off your head while you’re struggling for molue in Oshodi. Because of N150 bus, you lost N40k wig.

6. Fake baby/pregnancy

Fake baby doll silicone 20" sleeping newborn babies dolls cloth body real  baby dolls for children gift bebe alive bonecas reborn|real baby  dolls|newborn baby dolldoll for - AliExpress

People are kinder to pregnant people in Lagos. You might as well cash in on that sympathy.

7. Catapult

African Style Slingshot (Catapult) - Ochulo

For those traders in Yaba who are convinced they have what you want and won’t leave you alone. Since they want to be mad, convince them that nobody has a monopoly on madness. You sef get am plenty.


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 27, 2020

Forget barrenness and erectile dysfunction for one hot minute. The real prayer point most Nigerians need to take to the mountain top is the might to overcome late coming. Beyond coitus appointments, visa interviews and international flights, Nigerians are late to everything – work, church, life… Because we know you latecomers and we are in […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 8, 2022

Dammy lost a lot of weight in 2021. What she didn’t know was that her method of losing weight was going to come back and bite her in 2022. In this article, she talks about binge-eating and the effect it’s had on her mental and physical health.

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from Inside Life

August 6, 2022

If you’ve lived long enough with your parents, you’ve seen more than enough pepper. This guide is your chance to return the favour. You’ll probably fail but if you have coconut head, it won’t matter. You can’t First things first, you need to understand that you just can’t win. They’ll frustrate you till you tap-out […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X