Nigeria is the homeland of generators. The result? Noise pollution that hinders people from being productive when they work in the midnight or want to get some sleep.

Imagine trying to rest your head and your neighbour’s Tiger generator is serving vocals in your compound. Hmm.

Anyway, here’s how to casually make the generator stop working. End it before it ends you.

1. Open the fuel tank and bless it with anointing oil.

One bottle of Goya olive oil will do. Or maybe two, so you can help it rest in peace forever.

2. Or perhaps choke it with sand.

It’s been drinking petrol since. Change the diet small so it can stop making noise.

3. Maybe give it some water to drink?

One bucket will be enough to quench its thirst. Just do it quickly before your neighbours come outside.

4. Or run a hot bath for it.

Just douse it in petrol and strike a match. That Generator loves pain. Give it what it wants and watch it quieten down.

5. Take it on an excursion to the spare parts shop.

The unexplored territory of Nigeria's Used Spare Parts Market –

They will even give you money. Enjoyment + end of noise = bliss.

6. You can even ‘pieces’ it for Condemn-Condemn buyers to purchase.

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N500 for tank, N20 for spark plug. When you calculate everything it will add up decently.

7. Or maybe just switch it off and wait for your neighbours to come out so you can deck them.

They need to know that they are not the only one with a generator. They should allow you sleep or work in peace, abeg.

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