Yes, we get it: your friend is celebrating a birthday and you have to send your greetings. But please and please, mind the kind of greetings you send, because what on earth is “Happy abortion escape day”? Y’all need to do better, seriously.

1. “Happy natal day.”

If you say ordinary happy birthday, will you die?

2. “Happy womb escape.”

As per Prison Break, abi?

3. “Grow old and toothless.”

Growing old is not enough, you still have to add toothless. What’s the fun in being toothless, please? Nigerians and oversabi!

4 Things You’ll Relate To If You’ve Ever Encountered An ‘Oversabi’ Person

4. “Happy abortion escape day.”

Our reaction when we saw this for the first time. NIGERIANS, WHAT THE F*** IS AN ABORTION ESCAPE DAY?!

5. “Happy earth day.”

It has finally finished like this.

Here’s something else we think you’ll like: 5 Times Nigerians Went Overboard With Corrections

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.