13 Ways To Identify A Struggling Nigerian Man

July 18, 2021

Streets are tough, but Nigerian men are tougher. A lot of them are struggling, but you won’t know because of how organised they are. Well, we have hacked their secrets. If you are dating or planning to date any man who manifests any of these signs, please run. That guy is broke and has nothing to offer you.

Stay woke, queens.

1. If he is a poet.

david-as-shakespeare | Zikoko!

These ones are the original owners of the word struggle. They will serenade you with romantic lines and even give you one or two orgasms while at it, but when it’s time for them to drop something, best believe they can drop dead. Flee, my babe.

2. If he works at a start-up.

Yes, forget all you have heard about tech bros. The only ones that are not struggling are the ones in Paystack and Flutterwave. You see the rest of them? Struggle with a sprinkle of scaling and growth.

3. If he is always hungry.

The typical Nigerian man. See ehn, if you meet any and the first thing he’s concerned about is if you can cook fresh stew or make pap, just gather your wig under your armpit and run before you enter everlasting struggle.

4. If he is a musician.

7 Nigerians Talk About What It Is Like Dating A Musician | Zikoko!

Yes, they look good and babes are rushing them. But if you check their account balance ehn, it’s emptier than a doll’s head. Just collect the song and the orgasm they will offer. You see financial capabilities? It’s not from them biko.

5. If he doesn’t have a beard.

Someone does not have a beard and you think he’s not struggling? Listen, he is struggling with forces and principalities that even you cannot see.

6. If he has a beard.

Black men beards

Surely you know he kept it so he can be struggling with it until you come into his life and he can transfer the chaos to you. You better run.

7. If he has dyed his hair at least two times.

New Hairstyle For Black Men With Curls - YouTube

He might look chic and alte, but listen, mans is going through existential struggles. Enter it and you too will collect.

8. If he still lives with his parents.

Um, do you still want us to talk, or will you take the hint already?

9. If he lives alone.

Clearly that guy is struggling with a lot of interpersonal problems and they are so much that had to move out of the house. Get it?

10. If he is good in bed.

That means he cannot offer you anything else, so he wants to use knacks to finish your life until you are confused on whether to stay or leave. May the compass of your life lead you aright.

11. If he is not good in bed.

trouble-have-arise | Zikoko!

Of course he is struggling in the bedmatics part. Is that the kind of life you want for yourself?

12. If he has a powerbank.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 0E88370F-5EFF-4396-AC16-5A90EB9EE690.png

Yes please, Twitter people have said that powerbank is a sign of struggle. Just take it that way.

13. If he is still alive.

Since you have all these demands, you might as well just settle for a dead guy so you can be free of struggling forever and you both can rest in peace.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 7, 2020

Obesere’s Egungun Be Careful is our newly adopted national anthem, and we plan to use it in every situation necessary. If you’re confused about how and when to use it, we have made this list for your enjoyment. Read, digest, and remember: egungun be careful, because na express you dey go. 1. As a family […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 18, 2022

Last weekend, Orijin, the custodian of culture was the toast of the Big Brother Naija Saturday night party-themed Orijinal Ankara party. Saturday night parties are the highlights of Big Brother Naija weekends and Orijin delivered with melodious afrobeat music, flamboyant fashion, and its unique taste. The Level Up housemates partied away decked in stylish Ankara […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X