Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • Escaping sapa is the Nigerian dream, and while we keep moving on our journeys to freedom, you have to keep fighting back. 

    Food is the most important weapon you need in your arsenal, and Zikoko is here with the right cookbook for you.

    Diced Mangoes

    How would you dice a mango? Well, that’s left for you to figure out. But this food is a smash hit for the times when Sapa shows its true colors.

    Fufu and Egg

    How do you get more than enough carbs and protein while on a budget? Here’s your answer: you don’t even need three square meals after eating this. Think of it as an abridged version of a balanced diet.

    Beans and Amala

    This is based on consensus, and it works as a less simplistic version of fufu and egg. It’s basically fufu and egg with more happiness added. 

    Garri and Crayfish

    Crayfish is that unsung universal food hero that tastes good with everything. You can use crayfish for Jollof rice, stew, yam, and many more foods. So why not with garri too? 

    ALSO READ: Interview With Crayfish: “Igbo People Need to Release Me”

    Fruits of the Spirit

    Sometimes, all you need is to go to church and listen to the word of God, because he who is filled with the spirit will not want things of the flesh.

    Tomato paste Jollof rice

    As the name implies, this is basically jollof rice made mainly from tomato paste and a few spices. You may argue that it’s not jollof rice but that’s really your business. Try it out and see if it doesn’t come out looking like Jollof.

    Bread and Noodles

    We would have suggested spaghetti and bread, but we’re trying to fight sapa here, so let’s stay focused. Bread and noodles are basically two of the cheapest foods that Nigerians absolutely love. Also, what does bread not go well with in this life?

    Enjoyed this listicle, read what to add to your diet if you’re tired of eating the same meals every day.

  • Do you remember what you learnt in social studies? If you’re confident in your knowledge of northern Nigeria, take this quiz and prove it.

  • Money comes and goes. If you already have it, you probably know what’s eating all your money. But if you don’t, here’s a heads up on the things you’ll suddenly start liking once you have money.

    Eating takeout

    Suddenly, cooking your own food will become annoying. I mean, why should it take you 30 minutes to cook food you’ll eat in five minutes when you can just order food and watch Netflix while you wait.

    Using “Do you know who I am?” in arguments

    Seriously, how can they not know who you are?

    A bottle of Berry Blast after every meal

    “Oversized drinks are the first sign of wealth.” – Lord Lugard, 2022

    Instagram vendors

    Your saved posts on Instagram start getting more attention. Not because you’re still window-shopping, but because you’re now considering which one to buy first.

    ALSO READ: You’re Definitely One of These 7 Girls Whenever You Get Money

    Lagos nightlife

    You probably thought you were introverted, but here you are balling at 3 a.m., thinking about what you’ll do when this money finishes.

    Taking Uber rides everywhere

    You realise you’re made for the soft life, so you take Uber rides everywhere you need to go. You can’t come and die just to get to the other side of town. Even though you’ll still get caught up in traffic, at least you won’t be doing it while sweating in a bus.

    Eating suya in the afternoon

    It’s not your business that suya was made for darkness. That’s the story we tell the masses. You’re bougie now, so suya curfews aren’t for you anymore.

    READ THIS NEXT: 7 Practical Things You Can Use $1000 to Do

  • The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

    On this week’s Abroad Life, our subject is a student in the UK. He tells us about why he chose to leave, the Nigerian “hiccups” he had on his relocation journey, and how he’s dealing with the loneliness of being far from home.

    When did you realise you wanted to move abroad?

    It had always been in the pipeline for me. Since my final year in 2018, I was certain I wanted to leave Nigeria. It’s kind of a family thing. All my siblings are outside the country, so it felt natural.

    Why did you choose the UK?

    Should I be honest? I didn’t. I wanted to go to Canada via the study route, but that didn’t work out because Nigeria was holding my leg, for some reason. It was always either that or the US.

    LMAO. How did Nigeria hold your leg?

    I applied to the University of Saskatchewan in October 2020. I’d filled the forms and even paid for WES, but my transcripts weren’t sent until September 2021.

    Wait… what?

    Haha, yes. By that time, my application had expired, and I couldn’t apply for a visa anymore. You see, I attended OAU, so having issues with transcripts is a rite of passage. I even tried to send the results I printed out myself from the school portal, but it wasn’t acknowledged. That was how the Canada chapter closed for me sha.

    So, what did you do next?

    I picked up Project Management and Human Resources and wanted to study those at a school called Westcliff University in the US. I’d already applied and done the interviews, but at some point, my momentum just dropped. 

    So I stuck to my job in Lagos until August 2021 when my siblings came home to Nigeria. We were having a family conversation and my brother advised me to try the UK route. That’s where the idea of coming to the UK started. 

    Sweet. So how did that go?

    At that time, I still hadn’t received my transcripts. So I connected with a lecturer back in OAU to speed up the process. In the meantime, I contacted an agent my brother had told me about. He asked me to send all the required documents, the school I wanted and the payment plan I’d like. I also picked the January entry period for my admission because I wanted to get in as soon as possible. I sent everything but still didn’t have my transcript. It came in four days later.

    Finally! How did that feel?

    I was just so glad to have finally got it. I sent it to the man and got an email, the next Monday, that I’d applied to Teeside University for an MSc. in Applied Psychology. This was in December. By Friday, I was offered admission. I paid all the required fees using money I had saved and with help from family, but around the same time, my admission in the US came through.

    RELATED: “My Friends in the UK Make Life Amazing for Me” — Abroad Life

    That’s awesome! But how did you make the choice?

    I chose the UK because, even with my admission, a visa to the US is not guaranteed. My chances were a lot higher with the UK. I got my visa in January and started preparing to move, which I did on the 20th of February [2022].

    Did you tell people you were leaving?

    Not really. The people close to me knew everything from the start, so there wasn’t much to hide from them.

    Expectation vs reality: How has it been so far?

    When I got here, I actually understood the meaning of “it’s so cold outside”. I expected it to be cold but not this cold. Back in Nigeria, I’d gone to Yaba to buy some jackets, but they couldn’t withstand the cold here. I had to buy new jackets.  

    Also, everyone minds their business with so much seriousness. If it’s not directly affecting them, they don’t care. It’s a good thing, coming from a place where everybody wants to know everything about you.

    Another thing that shocked me was the job-hunting process. In Nigeria, if you had to apply for a blue-collar job, all you had to do was talk to someone and you either got the job or you didn’t. But here, even for the role of a janitor, you need to have a CV and some experience in that line of work. Everywhere I went, I kept getting asked for at least three months of UK work experience, even though I was new to the UK. I eventually got a job that required me to work ten hours a day.

    How do you combine a job with school?

    I go to work from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. the next day. After that, I go straight to classes which start from 9 a.m. till around 2 p.m. Once classes are over, I go to my apartment to sleep till it’s time for work.

    That sounds draining. How has it affected your relationships?

    Oh God. Where do I even start? My social life since I got here has been reduced to zero. It’s probably because I’m not a very outgoing person anyway. I just prefer to be by myself in my apartment. Another thing I’ve noticed is most Nigerians here are all about the hustle. Everyone is focused on stacking money. 

    But there are a lot of Nigerians here, so I may have a different answer to this question a few months from now.

    What’s your favourite thing about the UK?

    I really like that there’s dignity of labour here. No one treats an artisan differently because of their type of work. I like that a lot.

    What are your future plans? Do you see yourself staying in the UK after school?

    I really like it here, but my plans are still open-ended. I’d love to explore the idea of moving to the US at some point.

    READ THIS NEXT: “Sorry, Not Everyone in Jamaica Smokes Weed” — Abroad Life

  • Do you sometimes get excited at the sight of mint ₦50 notes? Or do uniforms tickle your fancy? 

    Our theory is that you miss your past life as a law enforcement officer. Take this quiz and find out the truth.

  • So you’ve just served your lover breakfast. But to make them feel better, you try to stay in contact with them. Don’t!

    If you don’t know how to handle things after serving a person breakfast, I’ll show you how. .

    First, you need to feel bad

    You just showed another person’s child pepper. You should at least feel bad for what you just did.

    Don’t breadcrumb them

    If you don’t know what breadcrumbing is, it’s the unfair act of giving a person just enough attention to keep them interested in you. It’s a wicked thing to do because you’ll just be serving them breakfast more than one.

    Block them and don’t attempt to call them after they block you back

    You don’t want to give them PTSD when they’re trying to get over you. If you feel somehow about them blocking you, just face your front and mind your business.

    But you can Invite them to church

    This is the best time to remind them that they’re your brother/sister in the lord. They came to you trying to find love but they found God. How awesome is that?

    ALSO READ: 10 Proven Ways to Get Over Someone You Love

    Send them your throwback pictures

    Get on your phone and send them the ugliest throwback pictures you have. The ones that’ll make them ask how they fell in love in the first place.

    Disappear

    Just leave them alone. Don’t call or text them. Don’t even act like you’re alive anymore. Some folks call it “ghosting”.

    Move to another city

    You don’t want them running into you at random places. Since you asked for space, it’s best to put plenty of space between yourselves by moving to another city.

    Respect their wishes

    If they don’t want to be friends, don’t try to be friends with them by all means. Respect their wishes so they don’t vex and come after you for serving them the breakfast they weren’t craving.

    READ THIS NEXT: 11 Nigerians Share Their Worst Relationship Break-Up Stories

  • Afrobeats is popping right now, but Nigerian music has been fresh since way back. If you danced yahooze and kolomental as a kid, come and prove it to us by taking this quiz.

  • The watch you got for your 21st birthday or the car you got handed down by your dad. 

    Take this quiz, and we’ll guess the most valuable thing you own.

  • Lending people money can be very risky. You have to be ready to fight or say bye-bye to your money for the sake of peace.

    If you’ve already made the terrible mistake of giving out your hard-earned money, then you can never be too prepared for the process of getting it back. We put together this guide on how different people behave when it’s time to repay a debt, just for you.

    The ones who pay back on time

    These ones don’t like trouble. With them, you’re sure to get your money back five business days in advance. Yes, they exist.

    The ones who come back to borrow a few days after repaying

    Can you actually say they didn’t pay back? No. But you see, you’re like their rolling fund. They pay you just so they can collect it back.

    The ones who ghost you

    Once you lend these people money, don’t expect to hear from them again. They’ll ghost you harder than your ex.

    The excuse-givers

    Just days before it’s time to pay back, they’ll have issues with their bank that can only be sorted out when God interferes.

    ALSO READ: The First Time I Borrowed Money as an Adult — 5 Nigerians Share Their Stories

    The ones who get angry when you ask

    They genuinely can’t believe you have the audacity to ask them for your money. It’s such a cardinal sin to these folks. Just don’t let them catch you in the streets. You’ll explain you got the nerve to ask them for your money.

    The ones you run into at the club after they say they have no money

    They’ll swear they just came to drop somebody off even though you can clearly see the bottle of Azul on the table.

    The ones who start acting very nice, hoping you’ll forget

    These are the ones who’ll check up on you three times a day as if they’re your parent. They just want you to feel bad about asking for your money. Don’t fall for it!

    The ones who act like they don’t know what’s going on

    They smile at you and tell you the new hot gist about the fancy new bag they just bought. But you’re dying inside, trying to hold back tears.

    READ THIS NEXT: The Headache of Dealing With Digital Money Lenders in Nigeria, According to 5 Nigerians

  • Living with your Nigerian parents is the trouble we’ve all had to put up with at some point in our lives. And the drama gets worse when you have to work from home while living with them.

    Here are a few things you can relate to if you work from your Nigerian parents’ home:

    They never believe you’re actually working

    You can be having the most important meeting in the world, and they want to talk to you about how the police came to arrest the neighbour’s son in the middle of the night. 

    They send you on odd errands

    It doesn’t matter that you’re now 25 and can be conscripted into the army when war comes. Nigerian parents will still send you to grind pepper on a week day.

    When you try to explain what you do for a living

    You can explain this to them a hundred times, and they’ll just keep nodding in agreement. Just don’t make the mistake of thinking they actually understand.

    They think you’re lazy

    Why will you be cooped up in your room all day and night if you’re not a lazy child? Your mates are out on the streets, hustling for their daily bread, and you’re here pressing your laptop.

    ALSO READ: Every Nigerian Mother Makes These 10 Annoying Passive Aggressive Statements

    Or they think you have plenty money 

    And you don’t need anything from them anymore. If you’re lucky enough to get your parents to understand what you do, the next problem is convincing them you don’t have money for something. So you mean those Yankee people are not paying you big money?

    When you finally tell them how much you earn

    Sinzu! So you mean this is what you’ve been hiding? Here comes the random billing.

    When your relatives think you’re unemployed

    You know that nosy relative who comes to your house to eat food and act like they like you? Yes, the ones who never mind their business. Since you’re always at home, how won’t they think you’re unemployed?

    How you look when you’re trying to get everyone to stop making noise

    Having a meeting in a house full of people is a nightmare. You’re trying to get everyone to keep quiet, but you can’t just scream “shut up” because then, no one is going to keep quiet.

    READ THIS NEXT: 8 Nigerian Adults Still Living With Their Parents Tell Us Their Biggest Struggles