• Sapa is having a few words with the crypto market right now, but this year wasn’t always like this. Amidst all the “WAGMI” and “LFG” that’ve now become “God abeg”, we spoke to seven Nigerians to know what it was like for them when the numbers were on a rollercoaster.

    Thompson*, 25

    “Being involved in crypto actually changed my life. I wasn’t trading or anything like that, but I was pretty much looking for giveaways. They’re called airdrops. So I’d get some tokens from a crypto project for some reason sha. It may be for trying out a product, or for promoting it. It may even be for signing up at all. These tokens are usually worthless. But when some hype gets into the project, the tokens take off.  

    I’d gotten some worthless tokens from a project, and about four months after, I woke up to $1000 in my wallet because the token had done x80 within a day. That was just the start for me, as I became a full-time hustler for these airdrop projects. I wasn’t sleeping anymore because I had to stay alert for updates. It was a wild time. Sad that there isn’t much action anymore.”

    Dolu*, 26

    “I was in the university in 2020 when I first got into crypto. I had friends who were making money through trading, but I didn’t know anything about that. So I went to a friend for advice and used the ₦66k my dad had given me for a laptop to buy some crypto based on what theyh said. It ended up wiping out all my money, and it caused a huge fight between me and my friend. I guess it was a necessary first lesson. But they helped with some more investment tips that went on to make me over $3k a few months later. At that point, crypto felt like blood money, and I totally forgot I’d even lost money in it before.”

    Maria*, 20

    “My brother was trying to send some money home to us from the UK sometime in 2020, and the process just seemed like hell. No regular channel was working for the amount of money he was trying to send. So he told me to open a crypto wallet so he could just send it there. I did that, and we received the money within a day. That was the first time I used crypto at all, and it was a lifesaver.”

    Ibrahim*, 29

    “Trading futures wan kill me. Na like gambling. In fact, it’s like baba ijebu with a lot of financial jargon. I’ve made about ₦12 million since I started trading futures last year. But I’m pretty sure I’ve also lost more than N₦15 million. I honestly don’t even know why I do it anymore.”


    RELATED: Cryptocurrency: 9 Things You’ll Relate to if You Don’t Understand Cryptocurrency


    Blessing*, 27

    “I bought into crypto in February [2022] when there was a lot of noise and hype. Big mistake. I thought “Omo, there’s money in this thing o. Make I no dull myself”. So I bought into Luna with most of my savings. This was about ₦1m and Luna was trading at around $40 at the time. Almost two months later, it was trading at around $80. I felt like a genius because my money had essentially doubled.

    In May, Luna crashed from $80 to less than a cent within a day. I was completely wiped out. I didn’t even cry. I’ve still not cried yet. I think I’m in shock because how can ₦2m become ₦500 in one day?”

    Biola*, 23

    “I bought Ethereum with some of my feeding allowance back in 2017. I can’t remember exactly how much, but it was a lot of ethereum. I totally forgot about it because it was dormant for quite a while, until 2020 when the hype around crypto became really wild. I checked my wallet and realised I was worth $100k. I wanted to run mad. I’d never seen that kind of money before in my life. 

    I took half of the money out and left the rest so I could look for another version of Ethereum to buy. I’ve not found any sha, and I’ve lost a lot of the money already. I’m holding off until everything starts to pick up again.

    Chika*, 22

    “In 2017, I stumbled on a site I could mine this stupid coin called Dogecoin. It was worthless at the time, and I’d never heard of it. But I knew about mining bitcoin and this one felt much easier than the rest, so I decided to give it a try. My laptop was turned on for days at a stretch because I didn’t want anything to interrupt the process. At the end of the week, I think I had mined about 5,000 units of it, but I was disappointed when I saw the value. It was still less than $1. I left it and shut the whole thing. 

    After Elon Musk scattered everywhere with dogecoin hype in 2020, it went way up, and I’m sure it’d have been worth at least $2,500 at the time. But I don’t even know how to access my tokens so I just chopped my L and faced my front. It was painful sha.”


    *These names have been changed to protect the identity of the subject

    GLOSSARY

    WAGMI – The crypto version of “God go do am” which loosely translates to “We’re all gonna make it”

    LFG  – Let’s f*cking go!

    Wan – to try and do something


    ALSO READ: 14 of the Funniest Nigerian Tweets About Crypto

  • Nollywood is popping right now, but Yoruba movies have been giving us hot content for ages, and on a budget too. If you ever feel like you need to make one yourself, this guide is for you.

    Have zero chill

    You don’t need inspiration. You don’t need a plotline. In fact, you don’t really need to write a script. Just do a freestyle shoot, and you’ll end up with a two-hour film.

    Create a main character with unexplained wealth

    It’s a Yoruba movie, so throw out any concept of having money the typical way. That’s for the real world. Here, the lead must either do rituals or something criminal. 

    …or mysterious poverty

    There’s no room for in-betweens here. It’s either they’re rich or dirt poor. And if they’re poor, then their village people must be sitting on their destiny.

    Dish out contracts

    If money must be made legally, it must be from winning mysterious contracts they can never explain. 

    Add bottom-barrel men

    Your movie won’t sell without bottom-barrel men. You need to put on your misogyny hat and get to work because no matter what the men do, they should never be held accountable.


    RELATED ARTICLE: 8 Stressful Things That Only Happen In Yoruba Films


    Blame the women for the actions of these men

    How can your story even be complete if everything doesn’t end up being the woman’s fault?

    And don’t forget the chaotic subtitles

    To be fair, it’s on brand that these movies have terrible subtitles. You can’t have a shitty plotline and be hitting the mark on subtitles. You need consistency.


    READ THIS NEXT: 15 Pictures That Prove Yoruba Movies Have No Chill At All

  • If you’ve lived long enough with your parents, you’ve seen more than enough pepper. This guide is your chance to return the favour. You’ll probably fail but if you have coconut head, it won’t matter.

    You can’t

    First things first, you need to understand that you just can’t win. They’ll frustrate you till you tap-out in tears. But if you must win by all means, whatever you see, you just have to take it like that.

    Give them the silent treatment

    Nothing itches a Nigerian parent’s body like receiving silent treatment. They’ll probably not talk to you too but they’ll be dying inside.

    Smile and play with everyone else but them

    The silent treatment is not enough. You need to show them that you’re enjoying life without them because no one gets as jealous as a Nigerian parent.

    Give them grandkids

    Sometimes, these fights happen because they’re bored and need something to riff about. Help them refocus their energy by giving them grandkids so they can leave you alone.


    ALSO READ: My Parents Thought I’d Become Wayward Overnight, but I Was Just a First Daughter Looking for Freedom


    Report them to your local pastor since they already call them “Daddy” or “Mummy”

    Your parents also have someone they answer to. Take the fight to church and put it in the hands of God. Let them know you have more than a few tricks up your sleeve.

    Tell them you’re not interested in getting married

    You’ll be breaking their hearts but what’s your business with that? You’re at war and you need to use every means possible to win. 

    Send them a WhatsApp broadcast message

    Create a whatsapp broadcast with your fighting points and send them to your family group chat. You can even leave the group right after,for effect.

    Threaten to call your grandparents

    They definitely won’t see this one coming. Recruit your grandparents to join your fight because if you can’t win against your parents, then they definitely can’t win against theirs.

    Be prepared to move out

    How can you win a fight against them and think you still have a house? You need to prepare for the homelessness that comes with winning.


    READ THIS NEXT: 8 Solid Ways to Become Your Parents’ Favourite Child

  • Do you give off playboy vibes like Iron Man? Or are you moral police like Captain America? Take this quiz and we’ll tell you for sure.

  • To be Nigerian is to do superhuman things every day because living here is not for the faint-hearted. Take this quiz and find out what your Nigerian superpower is.

  • Are you looking for a legal online casino? Check below the legal online casino overview with all legal casino. Read our short description for each reliable online casino, so you can choose the one that suits you best.

    Best Online Casino 

    • Unibet : Best online casino overall
    • 777 Casino: Best for poker
    • Circus Casino: Best for betting
    • Jack’s casino: Generous welcome bonus
    • Bet365: Best for crypto players
    • Betcity: Best for blackjack
    • Holland Casino: Top game variety
    •  Wild Casino: Best for specialty games
    •  Super Slots: Top selection of slots
    •  Juicy Stakes: Best for roulette

    Where can you gamble online legally?

    Since October 1, 2022, online gambling has been legal. Legal are ComeOn (new) Unibet (most popular), 777 Casino, Circus Casino (highest bonus), Jack’s casino, Bet365, Betcity, Holland Casino, Toto and Kansino, Betnation and ComeOn. Which one should you choose? We’ll help you below so you make the right choice.

    Casino online legal

    Most people choose a casino where you get a high bonus. This is free play money to gamble with. We list the bonus you get at each casino.

    How We Selected the Best Real Money Online Casinos 

    Game Repertoire:

    We prioritized online casino sites that offer numerous types of casino games for players to enjoy. Beyond that, we made sure to include online casinos of all stripes that’ll cater to most players with sports betting, poker tournaments, crypto gambling, and jackpot slots.

    Bonuses and Promos:

    We believe it’s important to get your money’s worth. With so many online casinos pandering for player loyalty, there’s never been a better time to be picky.

    We only mentioned bonuses with a maximum 40x playthrough because anything higher takes an unreasonably long time to redeem.

    Banking Options:

    We gave online casinos that offer players a number of ways to make deposits and initiate withdrawals a higher ranking. Although almost every online casino accepts BTC, we went deeper to shout out sites that accept a variety of cryptocurrencies and traditional payment methods.

    Support Team:

    The presence (or lack) of reliable, prompt, and competent customer support can make or break an online casino. That’s why we gave a higher ranking to sites that offer versatile and reliable support channels.

    Guide to Using the Top Online Casino 

    Do Online Casino Offer Bonuses?

    Yes, most worthy-of-your-time online casinos will offer a generous initial deposit match, an easy-earn playthrough, reload bonuses, and even no-deposit welcome bonuses. However, it’s vital that you read the terms and conditions to learn about the wagering requirements.

    Can I Place Bets With Cryptocurrency at Online Casino Sites ?

    Yes, it’s easy to place your bets with crypto at online casinos. All of the sites we reviewed accept Bitcoin, and they all provide quick (some even instant) withdrawals. As a quick example, Holland Casino(our top pick for crypto gambling) accepts BTC, ETH, Litecoin, Dogecoin, Bitcoin Cash, and Tether.

    What is the Best Online Casino?

    While we can’t give you an all-inclusive answer, Casino777 will be the best online casino for most players. We say this because it covers the bases pretty well and offers the most generous welcome bonus.

    You can claim a 320% match bonus on your first deposit and try any game for free before playing it for real money — which goes a long way for newer players to test the waters.

    Which Casino Site Pays Out the Fastest?

    Holland Casino is one of the very few online casinos with instant payouts. By all means, most casinos on our list will have your crypto payout processed within 24 hours, but Holland Casino goes a step above with an average payout time of 8 minutes.

    What are the Best Online Casino Games?

    Online slots are considered the best online casino games, which is why they’re at the forefront of nearly all real money casino sites. Of course, blackjack and roulette remain the most popular table games, but slots and progressive jackpots attract players the most.

    How to Get Started at Top Online Casinos 

    Creating an account at the best online casinos is a simple procedure. We’ve prepared a short guide below that you can follow to start playing casino games for real money (using Red Dog as an example).

    1. Visit the Official Casino Website & Register

    •  Visit Red Dog Casino via this link
    • Click “Register” or “Claim Now”
    • Fill out the form with your personal details to create your account

    2. Verify Your Casino Account

    • Red Dog will send you a confirmation email
    • Open your email inbox and find the confirmation mail
    • Click the link inside to verify your casino account

    3. Deposit, Claim a Bonus & Play Online Casino Games

    • Click “Cashier” once logged in
    • Under the “Bonuses” tab, enter the code REDCOIN to trigger the 320% slots bonus
    • Deposit using your preferred payment method
    •  Play real money casino games!

    Have You Found the Best legal Casinos Yet?

    We sincerely hope our in-depth look at the best casinos has helped you make an easier final decision.

    To make the process even easier for you, we definitely recommend you go with Red Dog Casino. If you’re chasing a generous deposit match with a fair playthrough, high-quality casino games, and a new-player-friendly environment — you’ll appreciate signing up here.

    Still, we’d play at each online casino in this article, so it’s always best to explore more options before settling down for one. Most importantly, have fun and play responsibly!

    So, you can read about best casino canadahttps://meilleurcasinoligne.com/casino-en-ligne-canada/

  • The fastest way to get rich is to be born rich. But if you missed that bus, you can just marry rich and your problems would be solved. We have the cheat code to do just that, and we’ll give it to you for free. 

    Snatch someone’s rich spouse

    Who has time to start looking for a rich spouse all over the place, when you can just find a rich couple, enter their relationship and create small space for yourself?

    Marry your glucose guardian

    How to actually make them go from glucose guardian to a spouse? That’s up to you to figure out. You can trap them with food or kayan mata, or even just put a ring on their finger and force them to sign a few papers.

    Join a political party

    You have our word on finding “rich” people there. But a spouse? You’re on your own in that aspect.

    Gatecrash a classy wedding

    What better way to meet your rich spouse than at a gathering of already-rich people celebrating marriage? You may end up choosing a Yoruba demon, but it’s worth the risk.


    RELATED: All The Places You Can Find A Nigerian Sugar Daddy


    Hang around the Canadian embassy

    In this life, you just have to be strategic. That’s why hanging around the Canadian embassy is the exact thing you should be doing if you want a rich spouse. When you add the possibility of japa, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t pursue them.

    Slide into a rich person’s DM

    You should only do this after you’ve liked all their pictures so they can notice you. They’ll probably follow back. Once they do, the floor is set.

    Propose to an Akara seller 

    We’ve said it before, but we’ll say it again, akara is the new tech. Profess your love to the next akara seller that catches your eye.


    ALSO READ: 13 Places to Meet a Rich Bobo in Lagos  

  • Were you paying attention in social studies class or should we mind our business? Take this quiz and defend your school fees.

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  • We’ve advised you so many times to stop sinning. But since you won’t listen just take this quiz so you can find out where you’ll be when the rapture comes.

  • Are you dating someone who doesn’t really fancy your kind? Or are you confident that your partner definitely swings your way? Take this quiz and find out.