Word on the street is that Tinubu looked like a black panther back in the 70s. Whether or not that’s true, it doesn’t matter. The point is, would you have been able to recognize him or other Nigerian figures from the past? Take this and find out.
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It’s Monday again, and capitalism is making us do this annoying thing called work. Problem is some people actually love it. We need those people to leave their jobs and go do something else because something’s wrong somewhere. If you love Mondays, and weekends absolutely aren’t your thing, then this post is calling your name.
You love your job
How can you love your job? It means you’re already losing focus because work is supposed to be fire and brimstone.
You have a crush on your boss
It’s obvious you’re not there for work. Why are you even wasting your time with the job when you already know what you want? Don’t let your 9 to 5 stop you from chasing your dreams, fam.
You’re good at your job
Then you should be doing something else, please. You need a new challenge.
Your 9 to 5 doesn’t stress you out
Is that one even a real 9 to 5? Let me just tell you now. What you have is a hobby and not a job. Find another one.
RELATED: How to Kill It on Your First Day at a New Job
You actually have your weekends to yourself
So they told you you’d work five days a wee,k and it wasn’t a lie? You don’t mean it.
You love Mondays
Are you normal like this? Something is definitely wrong somewhere. Your job is not doing its job well, and you need to find another one ASAP.
Your salary is actually enough for you
Maybe you need to write us a book because how are your money skills not shaking at the sight of inflation? How can your salary be enough for you in this economy? You need to find another job right now.
You love your coworkers
Do you mean you actually like them and are not just doing eye service? Wow. Fix up, please.
NEXT READ: How Long Should You Stay at a Job? — We Asked 7 Nigerians
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Who’s wearing red? Where is Messi? Is that not offside? Nobody asks more questions about football than the people who don’t really watch the sport. Answering their questions is not going to make them start watching it either, so if they stress you, stress them back by giving them these answers.
Who’s wearing red?
The Babalawos my dear, they’re trying to use juju to control the ball.
Is it a friendly match?
No o. Can’t you see that the players have off shirt and are punching one another?
Is this not Chelsea playing?
No actually. It’s Enyimba o. They came to play a friendly match in the Premier League
Which one is Messi?
He’s the one wearing agbada with a cape behind it na.
Why is Messi not in Barcelona again?
Father lord. Where do I start from?
How many offsides are allowed in football?
I have no words for you.
I’m a die-hard Manchester United Fan
Someone who hasn’t watched football since 2010.
ALSO READ: All the Football Twitter Slangs You’ll See in the Coming Months, Explained
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You’ve heard “she tell me say” too many times but did you really know that Wizkid was actually talking about what the price of fuel was telling him? If only we had listened.
Take this quiz to see if you know what these artists were really talking about on their songs.
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If you support Manchester United, every day for you is a fight against the club’s attempt to ruin your mood. But most times, they succeed.
If you’re a Manchester United fan, you can definitely relate to these pictures.
When there’s a match coming up and you just can’t wait for it to start
You’ve promised your haters that they’ll cry and you can’t wait to shame them
You even set a ₦10,000 bet with a friend on the outcome of the match
You remind them that Ronaldo is the GOAT and he’ll always turn up
You’re posting status updates with #GGMU every five minutes.
The match starts and you’re hyping up your players
One of your team’s players gets an early goal in
And you’re screaming “siuuu!” because your team is nobody’s mate.
Then Ronaldo gets substituted…
Because the coach wants to bring in someone else.
It starts looking like all the players suddenly switched off
Because why are they spreading their legs in the box?
RELATED: QUIZ: Can We Guess the Football Club You Support?
The opponents equalise
But you shrug it off because your boys just can’t flop.
The second goal comes in and you become oddly quiet
…And then the third
Then, one minute to the end of the match opponents score another one
Then the match ends right after and you’re in tears, like last week and the week before.
You start ignoring all the WhatsApp notifications from the people you boasted to
While trying to think of someone to blame.
You want to point fingers at the coach…
But you praised the coach before the match started.
When you see your friend and they ask you for their money
When you think about all the pepper Manchester United has shown you
But then you shrug it off and move on
Because at least you’re not an Arsenal fan.
READ THIS NEXT: 6 Reasons You Should Date an Arsenal Fan
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In just three weeks, so much has happened on season 7 of Big Brother Naija. Have you been able to keep up? Do you know all the tea? Take this trivia quiz to find out.
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Maybe sapa is dealing with you today, but the next 5 years may be much better. Take this quiz and we’ll guess what you’re worth 5 years from now.
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You can’t deny that APC gives off sugar daddy vibes and Labour party feels very working-class. But there are 16 other political parties that need introduction. And we’re here to do just that.
All Progressives Congress (APC)
Founded in 2013, these are the loud-mouthed sugar daddies who spray mint ₦100 notes at parties. When you ask them what it’s for, they tell you beans and garri. These men have zero shame and no problems borrowing money to fund their sugar daddy lifestyle. On top of that, nobody even knows where all the sugar is going because it’s not really helping or touching anybody.
People’s Democratic Party (PDP)
Founded in 1998
This party gives off old money vibes but with a touch of sugar daddy too. The only problem is the money has finished. So when you ask them to show workings, you’re just playing yourself.
All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA)
Founded in 2003
This band of people keeps rising and falling just like crypto, except they don’t have the money most crypto bros do. They remind us of that aunty who’s been around the longest but we keep forgetting to invite for family parties.
People’s Redemption Party (PRP)
Founded in 1978
Nobody knows anything about these ones except that they’ve been around since 1978.
Social Democratic Party (SDP)
Founded in 1989
They give off boomer vibes but with a high debt-to-GDP ratios instead of plenty money. Nobody understands anything they say, but we like having them around.
RELATED: These Are the Funniest Nigerian Political Party Logos We’ve Ever Seen
Young Progressives Party (YPP)
Founded in 2017
This party gives off tech startup vibes. They say a lot of nice-sounding things, but we all know they’re also just hustling for money.
African Democratic Congress (ADC)
Founded in 2005
They give off freedom fighter vibes, but when you need actual freedom fighters, they’re surprisingly quiet.
National Rescue Movement (NRM)
Founded in 2017
You get firefighter vibes from this party. You can’t blame them for this because, technically, the country is on fire. The only thing we need to explain is why there’s an insect on their logo. It’s giving mosquito coil.
Boot Party (BP)
Founded in 2019
We’re pretty sure this party was going for ajebutter vibes with their name, but they ended up giving malaria drug vibes with a logo that looks like sadness.
New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP)
Founded in 2001
This party feels like it was created in a hurry and nobody inside it really knows why they’re there.
ALSO READ: How Much Are Nigerian Parties Charging Aspirants to Run for Office?
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Not every time APC and PDP. Did you even know there’s a party called the National Rescue Movement? We just gave you a bonus answer for free but you have three minutes to guess these political parties from their abbreviations.
Questions
This is a question
