What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

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Today’s Man Like is Anny Robert, a photographer. He talks about leaving graphic design for photography after seeing a down sum payment and how his career affects his romantic relationships.

Let’s talk about growing up.

My dad was a lecturer, but he wasn’t as strict about my academics as other lecturers were with their kids. He is quite playful and doesn’t take things too seriously. Still, he was a disciplinarian, and there were rules.

Because my brother and I went to secondary school at the Federal University of Technology, Minna where my dad lectured, we were constantly watched. What this meant was that I grew up well-behaved, even when I went to study at Covenant University.

What was uni like for you?

University was my first chance to leave Niger State, and I grabbed at it. However, I knew how hard my parents worked to send me to Covenant University, so I stayed relatively well-behaved. I didn’t want any trouble with the school’s disciplinary panel. I didn’t even date anybody. It wasn’t until I graduated that I started exploring my freedoms.

What did you study at the university?

When I was picking courses, I thought studying computer science meant I was going to learn about graphics, design and animation, which were things I was interested in. It wasn’t until I resumed classes that I discovered how wrong I was. A lot of my course work revolved around math, logic and computer programming, which I hated. I did terribly except in a 3D-animations course where I performed excellently. 

During my IT in 300 level, I learned graphics designing during my internship. I worked at a t-shirt company called Cool Beans in 2013 where I designed t-shirts. The company folded after two years, so I had to find another job. I soon found one as a graphics designer in a company that produced bespoke suits. It was during this time I picked up photography.

How did you get into photography?

At the time, a lot of people around me were photographers. I watched them during shoots and started to learn a couple of things. I still wasn’t hooked on it until I saw a down payment my friend received. It was a huge sum, more than anything I could ever make as a graphic designer. It was at that point I decided that photography was for me. I started learning how to edit pictures before I even picked up a camera, which was easy due to my knowledge of graphic design and photoshop. I’d take RAW pictures from my friend’s shoots, practice photoshopping those pictures, then ask my friends to critique my work. This was in 2015.

So photography was about money, for you?

It’s always the money. Except you’re a trust fund kid or you have one inheritance waiting somewhere for you, you need to work in order to remain independent. It’s a means to an end, and that’s what photography is.

At what point did you realise you had reached the pinnacle of your profession?

Around 2017. I started getting an idea that I was actually good at this stuff. I was getting a lot of work, and it just never stopped. My friends and followers were very generous with feedback and hype, so I started to figure that I was actually doing something good. There were also calls from a couple of celebrities.

That must have been huge.

Not really. It was great to photograph celebrities early in my career, but most of them want free services because of who they are. They’re nice to have in your portfolio because it gives some credibility to your work, but eventually, you realise they just want free service. So I’m not so excited about photographing celebrities if they aren’t paying. 

How do you feel about the impact of your work?

Strangely enough, I never actually realise how big my work is. Unlike art forms like music, I don’t know how much traction it’s gaining because I’m usually behind a camera or a computer screen. I’m also my biggest critic, so I’m always seeing problems in my own work even when others say I’ve done something amazing. Yet, I see the ways I’m improving every day, and I think that’s what counts. 

Do you have imposter’s syndrome?

Definitely, yes. In other fields, there are certifications you can take to prove your proficiency in a field. In most art fields like photography, it’s mostly based on freestyle and vibes, so there’s a lot of imposter syndrome even at the pinnacle of your field. You never can measure how good are. And because internet hype is very fickle, you can’t use that either. People can call you a genius one day and call you unimpressive the next.

How do you deal with it?

By constantly reassuring myself that I actually know my stuff. Asides from this, I’m always trying to do better work so I know I’m not slacking. It might just take some time to believe my own hype. 

I’m also aware that I don’t release mediocre work. The worst it can be is average, so this helps build my self-confidence. I think the most important thing is to continue growing and learning and see where life takes you. If you had told me in 2013, when I was a graphics designer at Covenant University, that I would be one of the top photographers in Nigeria in 2021, I would have laughed your ass to death because I knew nothing about photography.

Who’s been your favourite person to work with?

My favourite artist to photograph was M.I. Working with Don Jazzy was also so much fun because he’s easy-going and playful.

That’s cute. Tell us a bit about your love life.

As I said, I wasn’t very involved with women in my uni days. I guess I was just too shy to ask anyone out. After uni in 2013, I was in a long-term relationship that ended after three years despite my best efforts. We started getting distant in our second year of dating and finally broke up in our third. By the time it ended, I was just starting photography as a career, so I just channelled my heartbreak into learning my craft properly.

I didn’t really think about relationships anymore after that. I’m not great at multitasking, and I tend to have a one-track mind, so focusing on photography left me little time for anything else, especially for love. It was my decision to focus exclusively on photography that gave me the career I have today.

I later had a thing with someone which didn’t quite pan out well due to distance even though we tried to make it work. After that, I closed the shop of my heart. LMAO. I decided not to have relationships anymore till I figured out my photography career.

And now that you’ve figured it out?

I got comfortable with being single, and I think I like it a bit too much. Also, because all my focus goes into my job, I don’t know how I’d deal with someone who would make me the centre of their attention. I simply wouldn’t have the time for it. If I found someone I liked who is just as focused on their career, maybe I might consider a relationship with them. I’m not going out of my way to find a romantic relationship.

For now, I’m keeping it casual, nothing serious. 

Interesting. What’s your favourite thing about your mini-celebrity status?

I think it’s helped with my confidence a lot. I wasn’t always so self-assured, but being one of the best at my craft affords me a lot of confidence.  On some level, you know you’re the shit.

Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the Man Like series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

Are you a man who would like to be interviewed for a Zikoko article? Fill this form and we’ll be in your inbox quicker than you can say “Man Dem.”

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

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Today’s Man Like is Dr Idowu Afinowi, a psychiatrist. He tells us about growing up poor even though his dad was well-to-do, almost failing in school because he was juggling two degrees and how his profession helped him become more empathic.

What was growing up like?

I grew up in a Muslim family. My mum was the first wife, and she had six kids.  When I was five, the marriage became strained and they separated. I couldn’t live with my dad because he was a customs officer who was deployed across the country. 

What was growing up with your mum like?

It was tough sometimes. While my dad was a customs officer who earned well, my mum worked as a non-academic staff in a secondary school and earned a paltry salary.  

Surviving was such a struggle sometimes. I remember one night my mum had no choice but to prepare efirin, which she plucked from a farm, to make some kind of soup. It tasted terrible, and I blurted out that it was bad and I couldn’t eat it.

For years, I regretted what I said. 

How did growing up with your mum affect your relationship with your dad?

It didn’t. My dad and I were good friends, and we still are. I understood that we couldn’t live with him due to circumstances. He paid for our education; it was very important to him that all his children studied to the highest levels.

What was your friendship like?

We only got to see him once in a while, whenever our holidays and his work leaves aligned. He is a jovial man, so there were lots of running jokes between us. He’d laugh at my jokes and give me money. 

The only disparity we had was our religion. Since I grew up with my mum, who is a devout Christian, I was Christian. He would have preferred us to be Muslim, but he’s also learned that being a Christian or Muslim doesn’t stop a bad person from being bad.

Tell me about becoming a psychiatrist.

I initially wanted to study medicine, but I couldn’t get the required score in JAMB, so I went to Yaba College of Technology (Yabatech) for an OND. I continued trying to study medicine, and in 2003, the final year of my programme, I finally got admission to study my dream course at Lagos State University (LASU). I had to shuttle between classes in Yabatech and LASU. 

That must have been difficult.

It was. LASU came with its own problems. Competition to get into the College of Medicine (COM) in 200-level was tough. Out of 150 students in 100-level, only the top 50 were going to get into COM. Meanwhile, I was also trying to finish my OND at Yabatech. It was gruelling.

Because I was struggling, I got a C in a 100-level course which would have made me miss getting into the college of medicine. I thought I had missed my chance. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. 

When the list was released, 51 people were chosen to proceed to the college of medicine and I was one of them.

So why did you choose psychiatry?

One day, we were waiting in class when a new lecturer walked in for our psychology class. He talked to us about psychoanalysis and claimed he could tell things about a person just by looking at them. The class murmured in disbelief. He asked for a volunteer, and my hand was the first to shoot up. He called me out, looked at me for a few seconds and said, “I can see that you’re jovial, brave and confident.” I was in awe of this and that was the moment I decided I was going to be a psychiatrist. His name is Prof. Coker.

What’s your job like?

I was very excited when I started my residency training in 2014, four years after becoming a medical doctor. My job makes me more empathic because I understand people and what makes them tick. I understand that Nigerians are experiencing a lot of trauma and need mental health assistance, so I understand when a danfo driver drives recklessly on the road. It also helps me raise my son in a mentally healthy environment.

My mentor, the late Prof. Bankole used to say, “If not for grace, you could have been the patient, and the patient could have been you. So treat them as you would have liked to be treated if that were you.” That’s my guiding principle in my professional life. I treat my patients with the utmost care, respect and dignity. Being mentally ill doesn’t make any person less human. Treating them well even helps them get better quicker. I wish people would understand that mental illness is just like any other illness in the body. 

Recently, I talked to my mum about what I said about the efirin soup when I was young and apologised to her for not recognising that she was trying her best.

That’s great. What did she say?

She didn’t even remember the incident.

Tell me about having a son.

I got married in 2018, and we had our first son a year after. Fatherhood is interesting. It’s amazing to have a mini-you running around, and recognising your character traits in them. Fatherhood is also scary. I once had to carry out emergency manoeuvres on my son when he fell sick and stopped breathing in the middle of the night. Fatherhood also means being on your toes when it comes to providing. There’s a lot that goes into raising a child, especially financially. Once you have a family, you go from worrying about providing just for yourself to feeding several mouths that depend on you.

I’m also figuring out discipline. My wife thinks he listens to me better than he does to her. He’s an intelligent young man, and he’s already shown a knack for humour and mimicking people around him. I can’t wait to see the kind of man he becomes. Hopefully brave, confident and jovial, like this father. Haha!

Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the Man Like series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

Are you a man who would like to be interviewed for a Zikoko article? Fill this form and we’ll be in your inbox quicker than you can say “Man Dem.”