How Nigerian are you really? Answer the simple questions in this ‘citizenship test’ as honestly as possible, and we’ll let you know. Don’t worry, this is as accurate as it gets.
Here are the best performing Zikoko quizzes ever. Take them.
This Sunday is World Jollof Rice Day!
You might be a Nigerian jollof fan or a Ghanaian jollof fan. You might think that Jamie Oliver’s jollof was on point or you might believe it was disgusting. You might not even like jollof rice (what is wrong with you?). But you have to agree that jollof rice is important.
So this World Jollof Rice Day (yes, this is a thing), MAGGI Nigeria and Kitchen Butterfly have organised a special event to celebrate World Jollof Day. Here’s what’s going down:
1. A Jollof Rice exhibition.
Involving food art from super-creative Haneefah Adams (@muslimahanie) and the winners of the Instagram Photo Contest for World Jollof Rice Day.
2. A lesson on the history of Jollof Rice.
For those of you who want to know were jollof comes from (hint: heaven).
3. A chat with the convener of the first Wolof/Jolof Exhibition.
His name is Folakunle Oshun and he’s a sculptor. And a jollof rice lover.
4. A book meet on “Jollof Rice in Literature.”
Who knew that jollof rice was so deep?
Wana Udobong, Ozoz Sokoh and Amanda Chukwudozie will be discussing Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie, Without a Silver Spoon by Eddie Iroh and other books. Eghosa Imasuen, author of fine boys will moderate and they’ll discuss themes like the cultural significance of Jollof, Jollof Rice across ethnic and socioeconomic barriers and Jollof as comfort food.
(Seriously though, who knew?)
5. An actual meal of Jollof Rice from Ghana High
Now you’re talking!
6. And finally, the after-party!
Because ain’t no party like a Jollof party…
7. And it’s going down this Sunday 21st August…
… at Whitespace (58 Raymond Njoku, Ikoyi, Lagos) between 4 and 7 pm. They said you should come hungry, we agree!
This week has been a tough one! The murders of two black men by police officers in America have got everyone talking.
And we have some things to say about them too:
But American police officers are not the only ones that behave unlawfully, our own Nigerian police are lacking serious home training too:
Have you had a bad experience with police officers in Nigeria or abroad? Share them below in our comments section.
1. You, never missing an opportunity to take a selfie:
Even in the middle of a life crisis, you’re there taking selfies.
2. You, spending ‘quality time’ with your friends.
“I have to capture the moment.”
3. You, whenever you see anything that resembles a camera or phone:
Time to slay.
4. How you feel when you look great but don’t have a phone to take a selfie.
What is life at this point?
5. When you ask for your friend’s phone and return it full of your selfies.
Have to take a selfie by all means necessary abeg.
6. What you look for in a phone:
What else matters?
7. What your camera roll looks like:
For the love of selfies.
8. When you’ve taken a million selfies and finally find the right one.
Too lit!
9. How you feel after you’ve mastered the art of selfie taking.
BOSS!
10. How you take selfies when you want your whole outfit to show.
Cannot come and be wasting kacks.
11. You, when your friends decide to do ‘silly faces’ in pictures, but pouting is your signature pose.
You people are on your own.
12. You staying camera ready at all times.
Gats be prepared.
13. You, posting every great selfie you take so they don’t go to waste.
Waste not, want not.
14. How you impact ‘selfie wisdom’ to your friends:
Na so.
15. Your parents every time you take a selfie:
Somebody cannot post ordinary selfie in peace again.
16. When you finally drag them into your selfie obsession.
A family that takes selfies together, stays together.
17. How your friends look at you when you get excited that it’s National Selfie Day.
Yes, there’s a National Selfie Day people. June 21st, get it right.
Anyway sha, don’t mind the haters. Take awesome selfies with the 13MP front facing camera on the new Tecno Camon C9.
Another day, another Zikoko podcast! This week we delve into 4 topics:
1. The tragic Orlando Massacre and America’s love for guns.
On June 12 2016, Omar Mateen took the lives of 49 innocent people and injured 53 others in a mass shooting at an LGBT club in Orlando, Florida. Yet many Americans are against gun control, believing everyone has the right to keep and own a gun based on their 2nd amendment right.
2. Americans and their attempt at the ‘African accent’ in Hollywood movies etc.
Zikoko writers have discussed this topic extensively. We wrote about Will Smith’s accent in the movie Concussion (based on Nigerian Dr. Bennet Omalu) and recently wrote a post on K.Michelle’s ‘speaking Nigerian‘.
But it seems we have to keep talking about it because Hollywood won’t hear word.
Anyway, enough explanation. Listen to the podcast here and be blessed!:
1. Para-venture
The sentence doesn’t even make sense.
2. Revert Back
Almost as irritating as ‘reverse back’.
3. Fingers
And in case you didn’t realise, ‘fingers’ in this case means ‘calls out’ or ‘names’.
4. Flays/Flayed
What are you people flaying?!
5. Penetrate
Stop. Please stop.
6. Defiled
Do they not realise ‘defile’ is a synonym for ‘rape’??
7. On Seat
Bruhhh… do they mean ‘present’ or ‘available’?
8. Left No Stone Unturned
All this big grammar sha…
9. Feedbacks (sometimes written as feed-backs, as if that makes it better)
Da fuq?
10. Severally
What they mean is multiple times…
11. Out To Destroy
Always going for the over dramatic.
12. Lambasts
What happened to ordinary ‘criticize’?
13. Impregnate
Nigerian journalists can’t go a day without this word.
Welcome to the first edition of the Zikoko Podcast!
Turn up!
The Zikoko team are an outspoken bunch of young Nigerians and during one of our usual rants in the office, we came up with the idea to create a Zikoko podcast.
Where we share out thoughts and views on news, gist and various other topics on this thing called life.
So here is the first edition of our weekly podcast!
This week we discussed:
Harambe: The 17-year old Gorilla that was shot and killed
Our favourite albums of the year
TV shows we recommend
The Voice Nigeria
JAMB cut off mark
This year in Nigeria
Follow us on SoundCloud for more podcasts and share your thoughts with us below!
We hope you like it!
A few days ago, Joro Olumofin shared an email he received from a young lady on his Instagram page
And for you people that don’t like reading long things; she basically said that when her boyfriend saw the robbers approaching, he ran out of the car without even warning her
So when the Zikoko team heard about this craziness, we just couldn’t help but chook our own mouths inside
Maryam, Junior Writer
“I’ll dump him on the spot and ask if he’s okay afterwards since we all want to be childish. Just to make him know what it feels like to be suddenly abandoned.”
Nerd Efiko, Senior Writer
“It will pain me sha. At least warn me before you take off, let us run together. Hian.”
Damilola, Editor-In-Chief
“If my boyfriend did this to me, we are basically done. And since he wants to be silly and childish, I’ll put on him on blast – tell his mother, his father, his pastor, put them on a WhatsApp group and put him on BLAST. And it’s the kind of guy who’s always doing Bonnie and Clyde on Instagram that’ll do this sort of thing. But when it comes down to it…?”
Osarumen, Zikoko Contributor/Senior Editor at TechCabal
“First of all, I’m likely to be the one doing the running. If she beats me to it, then I’m going to put a ring on it. That is, if I can find her afterwards.”
Tola, Zikoko Contributor/Writer at TechCabal
“I’d probably just break up with him by never speaking to him again. Ever again. People heard the gist and were laughing… It’s so embarrassing Jesus!”
Odunayo, Staff Writer
“LMAOO. For me, I don’t expect my boyfriend to fight armed robbers, that’s obviously stupid. But at least stay with me, let’s give them all our belongings together. If he runs, I’m single now. We could have run together but…anyway, no space for cornflakes guys in my life.”
Tobi Smith, Staff Writer
“I’ll see it as God showing me she’s not the one for me. As she ran away, she should run out of my life. We are single now.
But if it was the other way round, I’ll either stay with her and see what happens, or ask her how many legs she has, depending on how much I have and how strong the armed robbers faces are.”
So if your significant other ran away when you were approached by armed robbers, what would you do? Share your thoughts in the comments section
When you’re complaining to your girl that you and Femi haven’t fought in a month.
So you send him the “we need to talk” message.
How you act when he comes and tries to hug you.
“LOL, ok what did I do now?”
“SO YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW?”
“Jesus! Look at how you’re now shouting like a mad woman”
“It’s your side chick that is mad!”
“Which side chick now?”
“Your ‘edible catering’ now”
“Which one is ‘edible catering’ again?”
“So you’re going to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about abi?”
“You’re really not making any sense”
“It’s your mother that doesn’t have sense!”
“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BRINGING MY MOTHER INTO THIS?”
“Omg why are you now shouting at me?!”
“Because you’re always taking things too far!”
When you realise you’ve actually taken things too far but the show must go on…
“So now you’re keeping quiet abi!”
“But why are you now getting angry?”
“Ok fine, let’s forget it. I’m sorry”
When you realise that he’s actually apologising for the fake drama you started:
