Seven People You Are Bound To Meet On A Nigerian Campus

October 8, 2019

The University and other tertiary institution campuses are the melting point of all sorts of experience. At the forefront are the people in their different elements. You can try and escape some, but there are others you can’t miss. The list is exhaustive, but here are some of them:

The Wannabe Politicians

No worries if it took you some time to realise that your campus mirrors the country in many ways. At the helm are the students politicians. You might have campaigned for them or belonged to one of their many WhatsApp groups when you were fresh, but by the end of your second year, you’d realised how identical they are with the ones you’ve known all your life.

The Religious-Centric Folks

If you are like me and you’ve tried to count the numbers of fellowships in your school, there is a chance that you gave up mid-way. It is not all about the fellowships, but the people — they are usually on the hunt for new members. They are reminiscent of the Jehovah Witness guys your parents liked to avoid when you were younger. The thing is you are not quite sure how to deal with them – on one hand, they are calling you to God (heh), but again, they can be really unrelenting. They could stop you at times when it is not convenient for you to talk, or knock on your doors during periods you aren’t intent on receiving anyone.

The Hall-Porters AKA Monitoring Spirits

One of the downsides of living in a school-managed hall of residence is the presence of the porters. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but some of them are the absolutely worst; bent on making your life miserable. They are always watching closely, waiting for you to slip and make mistakes so they can fully ease into their element, threatening you with eviction and other forms of sanctions.

At the same time, some of them can be pretty chill, especially if you grease their palms with something.

The C-T-Y Squad

For many male students who have been in the school system for some time, the beginning of every session means it is time to scout for new babes, and their targets are usually the fresh female students. You will see them prowl fresh students-congested areas. They have a mission, and they will do anything to get that number and everything that comes after it.

The Attendance-Obsessed Lecturers

They really care about numbers. Their first mission at every lecture is to pass the attendance register around. The extra ones will closely monitor the sheet of paper as it is being passed to make sure no one is signing in proxy

And oh, God help everyone if the class is not filled up as they would like – that means one thing—impromptu tests.

Miss-Me-With-This-Lecture-Thing

These are the reasons lecturers are extra with the attendance thing. The only times you are sure to see them is during course registrations, tests, and exams. A few sporadic appearances on some days, and that’s it.

Hey, Look at me, I’m brilliant

You don’t have to lie; these people lowkey make you rethink your desire to get a education – like why do you even bother? They have all the answers and will engage or debate topics with the lecturer effortlessly. You, on the other hand, can only contribute blank stares and occasional nods. Pele.

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