Seven People You Are Bound To Meet On A Nigerian Campus

October 8, 2019

The University and other tertiary institution campuses are the melting point of all sorts of experience. At the forefront are the people in their different elements. You can try and escape some, but there are others you can’t miss. The list is exhaustive, but here are some of them:

The Wannabe Politicians

No worries if it took you some time to realise that your campus mirrors the country in many ways. At the helm are the students politicians. You might have campaigned for them or belonged to one of their many WhatsApp groups when you were fresh, but by the end of your second year, you’d realised how identical they are with the ones you’ve known all your life.

The Religious-Centric Folks

If you are like me and you’ve tried to count the numbers of fellowships in your school, there is a chance that you gave up mid-way. It is not all about the fellowships, but the people — they are usually on the hunt for new members. They are reminiscent of the Jehovah Witness guys your parents liked to avoid when you were younger. The thing is you are not quite sure how to deal with them – on one hand, they are calling you to God (heh), but again, they can be really unrelenting. They could stop you at times when it is not convenient for you to talk, or knock on your doors during periods you aren’t intent on receiving anyone.

The Hall-Porters AKA Monitoring Spirits

One of the downsides of living in a school-managed hall of residence is the presence of the porters. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but some of them are the absolutely worst; bent on making your life miserable. They are always watching closely, waiting for you to slip and make mistakes so they can fully ease into their element, threatening you with eviction and other forms of sanctions.

At the same time, some of them can be pretty chill, especially if you grease their palms with something.

The C-T-Y Squad

For many male students who have been in the school system for some time, the beginning of every session means it is time to scout for new babes, and their targets are usually the fresh female students. You will see them prowl fresh students-congested areas. They have a mission, and they will do anything to get that number and everything that comes after it.

The Attendance-Obsessed Lecturers

They really care about numbers. Their first mission at every lecture is to pass the attendance register around. The extra ones will closely monitor the sheet of paper as it is being passed to make sure no one is signing in proxy

And oh, God help everyone if the class is not filled up as they would like – that means one thing—impromptu tests.

Miss-Me-With-This-Lecture-Thing

These are the reasons lecturers are extra with the attendance thing. The only times you are sure to see them is during course registrations, tests, and exams. A few sporadic appearances on some days, and that’s it.

Hey, Look at me, I’m brilliant

You don’t have to lie; these people lowkey make you rethink your desire to get a education – like why do you even bother? They have all the answers and will engage or debate topics with the lecturer effortlessly. You, on the other hand, can only contribute blank stares and occasional nods. Pele.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 28, 2018

As students, we can hardly spare a second to think about politics because we’re so busy trying to breath life into our CGPA. Literally But still, we are very aware of the fact that every tenure, leaders breeze by without giving us what we need the most: development. I mean, look around you, we’re definitely […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

More from Campus

August 20, 2021

Sitting for any exam can be tedious, how much more, almighty JAMB. And checking your result? That can be a nerve-wracking process, but you have to go through with it because how else are you going to get into university? Better to do so as soon as possible so you can put your mind at […]

March 31, 2021

Growing up, a lot of us are taught that there is an exact way we are supposed to progress. We go from primary school to secondary school to university, get a job and then marry. It’s linear and exact. However, real-life isn’t that simple. A good number of people opt out of this race at […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X