Nothing fucking works and the hope kills. The thing is, I don’t have any particular grievances against the school. I just hate it. You keep thinking that something will work because it’s the bare minimum but it never does.. Especially at the medical centre. You’ll get there by 10 a.m. and think you’ll be done by 12 a.m. right? Wrong. If you get there by 10 a.m, just forget all your other plans for that day. That’s not how a system should work. That school has bad vibes, and I wish I knew before I entered. Then again, where else would I have gone?
I’m just glad I met my friends here. So that’s cool.
Priscilla/ 200 level
Unilag is expensive, and I don’t mean fees. If you are not content with the things you have, Unilag and its students will oppress you. I mean, an iPhone 12 is like an iPhone 6 on campus now and students buy cars like they’re bicycles.There is a need to keep up with the joneses here and that life is expensive. Bottle water is seventy naira outside but hundred naira in here, and the cab men never have change, which seems like a ploy to get you to leave it for them.
Olly/ 300 level
From lecturers cancelling lectures, to giving us assignments they won’t grade, the expensive food or the behaviour of non-academic staff, there are so many reasons to hate Unilag.
My faculty doesn’t have a functioning toilet. The only good toilet in the school is at CITS and we have to pay to use it. This makes no sense.
Balloting is another wahala. How can you say you don’t have enough bed spaces for all the students in your school? After making us ballot for hours and days, they’ll still stress us during registration. Why is my GPA important for me to get a bed space? Especially since the hotel’s facilities are disgusting. Why are you putting off the light by 8 a.m? Why do I have to struggle to use the kitchen? Why do I have to beg/pay to use the freezer or anything at all in this school?
Taoheed/ 400 level
One word: rice. Rice is like the only food available in school. Why that?
There is also the ridiculous accommodation price. Accommodation in the school’s environs is way too expensive and it’s mainly because of unilag.Who did we offend? After you pay that much outside, you’ll still have to deal with armed robbers. Everything is so annoying.
Tsuni/ 400 level
I hate the fact that it’s so difficult to visit your friends in the hostel. How can I be a girl and you’re stopping me from seeing my female friend…IN BROAD DAYLIGHT? It’s ridiculous. I understand not letting boys into girls’ hostels and vice versa even though that one is weird but there should be visiting hours.
Banjo/ 400 level
Thanks to Covid, I have spent almost 6 years trying to get a 4-year degree. It annoys me when I see those tweets where people say the first class in a private university is the second class in a federal university. We work our butts off studying but what’s the point when the lecturers delight in failing people? If this is what academia is, I want no part in it. Unilag is just living on whatever past glory it had, which means that they once had a system that worked. What happened to it? If you are coming to enjoy life in uni, you will enjoy unilag. But if you are coming to learn, especially as someone with a learning disability, you will hate it here.
Mide/ 200 level
My biggest problem with unilag is that everyone thinks the students have money. I don’t get it. They hike up prices inside and outside school because they think the students are rich.. Potters, food sellers, and security guards will beg you for money and I’m, like, bro I’m just as poor tbh. I don’t even have a problem with the begging. What I have a problem with is the entitlement. They’ll make your life hell if you don’t give them. They give preferential treatment to people that obviously have money, especially in the hostels. Off campus, my friends pay rent that people with a family and hope for a future should be paying. If there were enough bed spaces in the school hostels, no one would have to pay N800,000 for a small room off campus. This is not how things should be.
Oluwatamilore
I graduated in 2017 but I hated that place with all my heart. Still hate it.
One experience I’ll never forget is reading with street lights because the transformer of my hostel was damaged for almost a week and the classrooms that had power were too crowded and noisy to read in.
I spent 5 years in that place and I still break out in a cold sweat when I remember the trauma I experienced in that school. My younger brother is in his final year so I know, based on his experiences, that things haven’t gotten better.
The Elevator is a limited Zikoko series that details the growth of young successful Nigerian women. We tell their stories every Tuesday by 12 p.m.
Pearlé Nwaezeigwe always knew she wanted to be a lawyer, but she did not know that law would lead her to tech. Now at 26-years-old, Pearle works at TikTok, where she creates policies that protect TikTok’s African users.
What did you want to be when you were younger?
A teacher. I was obsessed with teaching, so I would steal chalk from my class and take it home to teach imaginary students. Down the road, I still plan to be a professor.
I also wanted to be a lawyer and was inspired by my dad, who’s a lawyer. He would stay up all night reading big books, and I wanted to do that, to advocate for people and be a voice to the voiceless. I wanted to be the attorney general for the Federation of Nigeria. I wanted to do something very ambitious, and I thought studying law was the way forward.
So, you studied law in university?
Yeah, I did and it was intense but at the same time, I knew I was meant to do it. I am grateful I went to University of Lagos because that’s where I joined the Mooting Society. I would go for competitions, mock court cases, and I got to travel to the US for conferences. This exposed me to things a lot of my classmates were not exposed to, and I realised that my life was beyond Nigeria. Unilag’s hustle spirit helped make me who I am today.
What was your first job?
I was an intern at Chocolate City. I was interested in intellectual property law, so my aunt spoke to the general manager of Chocolate City at the time, and I got an internship. It was an interesting experience. Sometimes you would come to work and MI will be beside you writing songs. I was there for a couple of months.
Nice. What did you do there?
Well, it was a lot of reading contracts and trying to be sure that artists didn’t get screwed by companies. Also, creating contracts that kept artists comfortable and engaged. I worked with a lawyer who walked me through the process.
My experience at Chocolate City helped me see the deficiencies in the music industry and how much of a long way we need to go to protect artists rights. It was really exciting going back and forth and feeling like I was a part of something. Initially I was not supposed to get paid, but they were really impressed with my work ethic, and they paid me. I also got VIP tickets and backstage passes.
What happened next?
Law school. Law school is a place you can’t survive without resilience. The program, the grading, the back to back exams, was a lot. I stayed up long nights studying for the bar exam and made really good friends, but I won’t wish law school on my worst enemy. You have to be sure you want to study law because Nigerian law school is not for the weak.
After law school, I worked at a law firm and I didn’t really like it. Usually, a lawyer is useful at any firm they find themselves in, but the law firm I worked in was very litigation centric. I was at the court all the time filing documents that did not make sense. After I left the law firm, I went to get my masters in International Law and International Human Rights in UC Berkeley. I was 24.
What was UC Berkeley like?
Well, I wouldn’t say it was an Ivy League university, but our major competition was Stanford. It was nice being in that space and having classmates that have worked in major companies. The school was in Silicon Valley so we were surrounded by Facebook, Google and so many tech companies. My plan when I got there was to work in the UN, but I found myself doing research on the impact of human rights on technology.
Do you think Silicon Valley had anything to do with that change?
Definitely. UC Berkeley is known for human rights, civil liberties and technology. For my project, we collaborated with Microsoft and Google. They wanted to know the impact their products were having on human rights, specifically on children’s rights. I was able to understand that there was an intersection of human rights and technology. After my degree, I got my current job and moved all the way to Ireland.
What job, and why Ireland?
Well, I work for TikTok where I create policies on behalf of the company to ensure that the rights of users are protected. My focus is to create policies that protect African users on the African continent.
On why Ireland, Dublin in Ireland is like the Silicon Valley of Europe. TikTok has its own office here and most of the African activities in these tech companies usually happens in Dublin.
How Do You Protect African Users at TikTok?
We create policies on behalf of the company to ensure that while people can say whatever they want online, they cannot abuse that power and spread homophobic, sexist or racist content and fake news. So, we create policies that protect people’s freedom of expression and safety. Those are the kind of hard things we have to do on the policy team— we ask, how do we create policies that protect Africa?
Were there any major stumbling blocks you faced along the way?
One of my challenges was getting this job. A whole year after I finished from UC Berkeley, I was searching for a job. I went for more than thirty interviews with all the big companies like Facebook and Twitter. The rejections really affected my self-esteem. People who knew me kept asking why I did not go into legal counsel or work at a law firm and do what everyone else was doing, but I just knew that tech policy was what I wanted to do. I realised that people these tech companies hire are those that have a lot of experience and then there was me who was fresh out of graduate school. So, I went to a lot of conferences and studied my ass off because I had to prove myself. One thing that helped was that I was also very good at cold emailing. There was nobody I would reach out to that would not respond — I even got to speak to the vice president of Twitter.
Well, I ran into her on an elevator during a conference, so I decided to tweet at her. I also mentioned in my tweet that they had a job opening, and I really wanted to join the team. She sends me a job link and I told her I had already applied for the job and I even tagged the job recruiter saying I was waiting for his reply. The next day, I got a call from the recruiter. He said, “the vice president of Twitter sent me a dm and told me to have an interview with you.” Unfortunately, it was difficult to get a work permit in the US because my role wasn’t that popular and the country didn’t rate me. I cried.
How were you able to move from that?
I had come too far to quit on myself. There were very few black women in these roles and I did not want them to remove one less black woman, so I kept going. I wanted to succeed in that one thing people thought I was not going to be able to do.
I also had other challenges, like my health. They found lumps in my breasts and I was dealing with severe migraines. Coupled with the fact that I was so far from family, it was very hard.
What are some lessons you learned in this journey?
Well, I learnt that every dream is valid. Society wants you to be one thing, but you can be so many. You are allowed to shift and be whatever you want to be. Another thing is that you have to believe in yourself. It is easier said than done, and it is hard to not compare yourself with others, but I had to snap out of it. Also, I learnt to be extra. I do not want to be in a crowd and blend in. I always want to stand out. Lastly, you need to learn balance. You need to balance friends and school and work and life in general.
Are there any women you look up to?
Beyoncé. Her work ethic is amazing and she keeps beating her own standard. She reinvents herself every time and she is black excellence personified. Before my interviews, I would play a Beyoncé song and take in some of that energy. She goes 100 and inspires me to be extra. Another person is my mum. My mum taught me humility and that had helped me get some opportunities I know I would not have gotten. She is like my best friend. My headmistress was also important to my development. She taught me almost everything I know when it comes to creativity and allowed us to be expressive. She made me feel like I could do anything if I put my mind to it. She passed away when I was 10 from cancer, and it was very hard for me.
What is something you are really proud of yourself for doing?
When I was in Unilag, I founded the first Model UN conference in Lagos. Trying to raise funds and asking people to register was very rocky. I also had to train my friends on how to be directors and secretary generals etc., but it all paid off. The dean was super impressed and gave us three days off from classes; he also gave us free WiFi. Now the conference is six years running. The second thing is that I wrote a book about my life last year. I am really proud of myself for doing that. I plan to be more intentional about promoting the book this year.
How do you rest with all of these things going on?
I rest by sleeping. I actually do not joke with my sleep and I keep my weekends open for me. Sometimes I play loud music and just dance in my living room.
Nice! What’s next for you?
I have always had structure in my life, but for the first time, I can say I do not really know what is next. What I do know is that I am destined for greatness.
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This quiz will separate the real Unilag students from the fake ones.
Give it a try below:
The first year in a Nigerian university is always one hell of a ride. It’s like finally getting admitted into this prestigious club but then the club has more downs than ups. Here’s a list of some good and bad stuff year one students in Nigerian universities will relate to:
1. All the registration stress and queues.
The one thing you can be certain about in Nigerian universities is queues. There is always a queue, and it’s worse for year one students because they have a registration deadline to meet.
2. The wait for reg number.
You spend 2 weeks on campus and you are still stuck with your JAMB reg number.
3. Matriculation day excitement.
And of course, your parents come through Nigerian style. One cooler of rice, a cake in the university colors and crates of malt for your friends and fans
4. Priding in the fact that you now have “lectures” and not “lessons”.
Levels have changed yo.
5. Dropping the name of your university with shoulders high when neighbours ask.
Status successfully upgraded.
6. The struggle for accommodation.
The struggle is indeed real. Lagos state agents have got nothing on campus agents. It be your own students.
7. Attending classes back to back because you want to make first-class.
With 5.0 CGPA goals on your mind. In spite of the fact that you and WAEC did not really end on good terms.
Humbled by the questions that look like HD when the lectures were only taught in 2D. Also humbled by the mean invigilators and how much space they put between desks. And finally humbled by the fact that other people are already asking for an extra sheet and you can’t even bring yourself to understand what question one wants from you.
9. Checking your first exam results.
You go with your heart in your hands because. And on your way you probably get flashbacks from all the times you were sleeping like a bear when you should have been cramming definitions.
10. First embarrassment from a lecturer.
And you’re like, I thought the point of being a university student is that I will now be treated like an adult? Which one is “get out of my class”?
That’s 9 things most year one students in Nigerian Universities will relate to. Which struggle was the realest for you?
Sometimes Nigerian universities are fun, but most times they are episode after episode of pure hell. If you attended one then you can probably identify one of the reasons why you hated school on this list. Or two reasons, or three. Or maybe the entire list is your story too.
1. There’s ALWAYS a queue.
While Lagosians are spending half their lifetime roasting in traffic, Nigerian students are spending there’s on queues. There’s a long queue at the banks, another one at the bursar’s office, and another at the bus stop, and at the toilet, at the restaurant too, at the Wi-Fi zone, there’s even a queue for your crush. And the queues make it a point to move at snail speed.
2. WhatsApp groups were invented in Nigerian universities.
There’s a WhatsApp group for everything; for every faculty, for every department, for every level in the department, for people who have forgotten their registration numbers, for people who have issues, for the people planning a party and even for people attending the party.
3. Assignments.
You think nursery, primary and secondary schools have all given you enough assignments for one lifetime but you get into the university and realize you are just starting.
4. Blackouts ergo water scarcity on campus.
Just when you have a deadline to submit an assignment the blackouts start and the water scarcity always almost follows suit. And you can best believe the university management is hardly ever in a hurry to fix the issue.
5. Impromptu tests a.k.a Tear out a sheet of paper.
The absolute worst kind of surprise. And lecturers loooooove to see it happen. Don’t they know that nobody reads until the exam time table is published?
6. Strikes.
At first you think it’s not so bad. Its like going on holiday before holiday, but then the strike stretches into months and you start wondering if you’ll ever see your B.SC in this life.
Weird things happen to UNILAG students. Last night, they were thrown into despair when the school was plunged into a blackout that lasted for close to an hour, leaving them to the mercy of mosquitoes and the sweltering heat. Of course, the students were triggered, so they took to the streets of Twitter.
They have taken Unilag to the dark ages, no light! The annoying thing is these Marlians have already started bringing out their Speakers. I can’t sleep 😩 #UnilagBlackOut
In certain cultures, adulting is marked with rituals, tests and celebrations. But when you’re Nigerian, adulting often comes at you without warning. It comes in different forms; bills, family, responsibility, and you guessed it, kids.
Everyone who’s crossed either of those bridges has a unique story. A story that can help you see you’re not alone. That’s why every Thursday, we’ll bring you one Nigerian’s journey to adulthood, the moment it kicked off and how it shaped them.
The question we’ve been asking is, “When did you realise you were an adult?”
The guy in this story is “23 going on 24”. He makes videos for a living. For his age, he’s not doing bad – most people would kill for a good job, side gigs and a place of their own in these Buhari times. Unfortunately, his journey to this point hasn’t been as simple as the math would suggest. If there’s one thing he will never be accused of, it’s waiting for life to happen to him.
The one thing I always wanted to do growing up was leave home. As a kid, holidays were the only aspect of my life I looked forward to. I didn’t hate school, I never languished at the bottom of my class and the highest I ever came was third position. In primary school, I was punctuality prefect for some reason. I was an okay student. I could say the same about my family.
I grew up the first of three kids in a corner of Iyana-Ipaja, a far-flung area of Lagos. My family was ‘the normal, average family’. They had enough to afford the necessities and a safety net – we ate well, went to school and wore good clothes – but we weren’t rich. My mother, a teacher, often reminded us to be content and make the most of what we had. These lessons are still with me today.
In a way though, that was the problem: I was not content. Every school holiday, from primary school till my late teens, I visited my mother’s family house in Somolu. I spent most of my time there with one particular friend, every holiday. We chased excitement, new experiences and the kinds of high that bored, young boys crave. That freedom was everything.
It felt like my regular life had become too mundane, too predictable. Somolu was important because it was alive. Iyana-Ipaja wasn’t; It was filled with memories I’d rather forget.
My dad likes women, a lot. Chronically, even. When I was much younger, he dropped me off at school everyday. It would be just two of us in the car – me and him in the front seats. We’d drive down a few streets before he would ask me to move to the back seat. The front seat was for the woman joining us on that day’s ride. There were many of them. So many that it was hard for him to keep it under wraps. He brought these affairs very close to home several times; so close that my mother knew about them. Our neighbours were aware. Fam, he even did it with people in the compound. One time, he had a fling with a married woman whose husband didn’t let it go till he told the entire neighbourhood. Another time, his fling’s spouse got the police involved.
I think I was around 14 when I first asked my mother why she was staying through all of it. Why was she letting him do this to her? She would nag and sometimes, he’d come home crying in remorse, but nothing changed. Him still dey do am till today. I haven’t stopped asking her.
Holidays at Somolu continued to be the only bright light. We never went out, never travelled; we lived a perfectly boring life. By the time I was rounding off secondary at 15, I didn’t want to go back home anymore. So I didn’t.
Fresh out of secondary school, I lingered in Somolu while I wrote JAMB and tried to get into UNILAG. The best part though was learning design from my aunt. She’s a photographer who started showing me basic stuff early on. From there, I found myself in a design program at a branch of the Mountain of Fire And Miracles Church (MFM). It was the first time I felt good. It sounds corny but I felt like I’d found my tribe.
Around this time, in 2012, my parents moved to Magboro, a small community along Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. If Iyana-Ipaja was boring, this place was dead. So dead that they didn’t have light. My dad had lost his job abruptly. He gathered his pension and moved the family into his house there. It wasn’t in its final form. I didn’t always go there. I was 17 and practically living with my grandma in Somolu by then. My mum had to call to get me to visit.
That I left home after secondary school is something that my dad often says he regrets. Of all my siblings, my mother says she’s least closest to me. We don’t talk the way she does with my siblings. We just can’t. We didn’t have the time to build that relationship.
I had this Uncle who lived in London when I was in my early teens. Brother Kunle. He’s the only one on my mother’s side who didn’t go to university. But every time he came home, he had goody bags for everyone. He was the one who managed to build a home for his parents as well. I always assumed he was balling, even without going to school. The details mattered little to me; I just wanted to be that guy.
In 2013/2014, I got accepted into UNILAG to study Industrial Relations. I hated it from the first class. After a couple of months, it was obvious something was wrong. I couldn’t will myself to attend lectures; I skipped school for months. That first year, I flunked like crazy. Everyone, including my parents, was at a loss as to why. I was too. The second year was a bit better but I knew it wasn’t working. So I dropped out.
I told my parents a week after it happened. They were understandably upset, but what was done, was done. I had put my life solely in my own hands now, my dad made that clear. I spent the rest of that year – 2017 – trying to come to terms with that. That meant meeting everyone that I looked up to, asking questions and trying to make sense of my decision. All of that talking helped me realise that I just needed to put my head down and work. I did.
I don’t know if I left home too early. My mum complains about the divide between us and it feels familiar: I’ve been accused of not being able to stay in touch by some of my best friends. After we had spent a year together, an ex-girlfriend told me that I was incapable of love. Thinking about it still hurts. I know I struggle with maintaining relationships. Sometimes it’s deliberate, but more often than not, I just lose track.
I’ve spent the last few years figuring things out. I won’t say I have, I don’t think anyone ever really does. But for my age, I’m not doing too bad. What started as a small hobby led me to form a three-man group with some of my friends from the church. We lived off lucrative web design gigs for a while. Sometimes, we’d get as much as 3000 dollars for one job. I moved to a place of my own in 2018, and since then, I’ve found more stability in life and my career. Unfortunately, old wounds are still open.
I know I suppress certain memories – like leaving school and certain parts of my childhood but for the life of me, I can’t tell why. For everyone who I’ve flaked on, there are a hundred others who swear that I’m the most caring friend they ever had. You can never see yourself as objectively as the people in your life do. Behind all my inconsistencies is a chronic desire to please the people I care about. I need to give more to them than I take. Maybe that’s why I left home – not because we were sad, but because we weren’t happy. And I couldn’t do anything about it.
I have no regrets. Things could have turned out differently, but if it counts for anything, I’m doing what makes me happy. I never let my siblings breathe when it comes to their education. And I support when I can – like giving my younger brother 100k to kick off his fishery business.
I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough. If I met a younger me, I’d ask him to not procrastinate – to break everything and keep moving. Maybe I’d be more fulfilled if I had moved that way. Maybe not. As things are, I have zero regrets.
“I’ve hated exams since I was a child. Studying Law just made the hate a whole lot deeper. All my courses are 4 units so I know if I fail, I’m finished. When I sit in the exam hall, it seems like everything just goes away and I’m in a blank slate until I get myself again.”
“One time in 100-level, I looked at the questions and assumed I didn’t know anyone so I started crying. Nobody saw me, and I just cried for a long time. When I was tired, I stopped and did the exam, I didn’t fail.”
“The most dramatic thing I did during exams was when I wanted to write Contract Law. I sat in my room on the day of the exams and started crying. But that wasn’t enough, so I broke my chain. But even that wasn’t enough, so I cut my hair for the first time since I was a child. When I got into the exam hall, I cried some more, and then I wrote my exam. I didn’t fail.”
If you ever get stopped from entering the kingdom of heaven we are here to tell you that the number one reason would be because of all the lies you told yourself and your parents in Uni. And if you didn’t tell yourself any of these lies, are you sure you passed through Uni?
That you were going to graduate with a first class and make you and your parents proud.
Even after your CGPA hit 1.5 you were still lying to yourself.
Asked your parents for money for books or handouts that didn’t exist.
“Daddy, they said we should buy this 5k handout if not we won’t write exam”. Sound familiar?
That you will still be able to pass that test even if you just start reading for it the night before.
You’ll now start trying to read for the whole course overnight. Who overnight don epp?
Told a lecturer that your aunty, uncle, grandma or grandpa died that’s why you couldn’t do your assignment.
Do you even have the fear of God?
Told your parents that you are doing very well in school.
When you knew you had three carryovers.
That you’ll start reading for your exams before the timetable comes out.
Two weeks after it comes out you’ll still be going up and down looking for handout to photocopy.
That you’d revise what you had learned after every class.
Did you even go for the classes?
That once you enter Uni you’ll party until you drop.
Instead, you spent all your time, eating, sleeping and lying to your lecturers about why you didn’t do your assignment.
At the beginning of every semester you’ll tell yourself that it’s the semester you were going to work hard to get your 5.0 GP
But you won’t go to class or do any of your assignments.
That even though you came back from the club at 5a.m you’ll still go for that 8 a.m class.
If you actually made it for those classes you are the real MVP.
Lied to your parents when you failed a course that it was the whole class that failed because the lecturer is wicked.
When you know you are the only one who carried over the course in your class.
Told your parents that you got admission to study Medicine when it’s Microbiology they gave you.
You’ll now start lying to yourself that you’ll get a 5.0 CGPA and change to Medicine.
That studying in your room was better than studying in the library. That the library was distracting.
5 minutes into your so-called studying in your room you would have slept.
That you won’t go out on a Friday night even though all your friends are going out.
Next thing you know it’s 3 am and you are in the middle of a club giving them shaku shaku.
What else did you guys lie about in Uni?
Calling on all UNILAG Alumni and current students, I stand to be corrected but I’m pretty sure these are the top 5 places to eat in UNILAG.
Bet you didn’t know Shop 10 is just a nickname and Glamos Rarebits is the real name of this legendary food place, From when it was known as Shop 2 in Red Bricks, to when it became known as Shop 10 behind Jaja Hostel, Glamos is most famous for one thing – it’s Jollof rice which is arguably one of the best in Lagos.
Mavise
For many people, Mavise was considered to be Shop 10’s number one rival. Although I personally thought Shop 10 served the best jollof rice, Mavise fans would beg to differ.
Salado
Like the name might connote, you already know that Salado is all about making great, fresh salads. It’s funny how people found a way to combine their salads with anything they were eating from rice to chips to even beans.
Ewa-agoyin Palace
Eating ewa-agoyin in any other place in UNILAG is unheard of. Ever had ewa-agoyin you don’t even want to eat your mum’s own again? That’s how good it is. In fact, there were many a people who thought she was adding a bit of jazz to the mix.
Iya Moria
Iya Moria started off at Ozolua before expanding to DLI. Anyone who stayed in those areas ate her food on a daily basis.
Olaiya
Even though they only opened their UNILAG branch in 2015, it didn’t take too long for Olaiya to become a household name for UNILAG students. Known for their fire amala and gbegiri, there’s no way you’d pass through UNILAg without stopping for their food.
