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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

This week’s subject on #TheAbroadLife received a trip to London as a birthday gift when she turned ten. Since then, she’s been to 34 countries, from Namibia to Eswatini. At the moment, the US is her home. But will it be her last stop?

Where are you now?

I’m currently living in Washington D.C. in the US.

What’s your travelling history?

Interesting question. The first time I travelled was when I was ten years old. It was the first birthday I was celebrating without my brother having a party too. Our birthdays are really close, so we usually had our birthday parties together. When I learned we’d be having separate birthdays, I was really excited about it. I was expecting a party, but my mum came up to me one day and asked if I’d like to go to London for my birthday. I was like, “Of course”.

It was my first time out of Nigeria, but only one of many.

What was the experience like?

The memory is somewhat faint right now, but I remember going to a toy store with an entire floor dedicated to Harry Potter. My mum wouldn’t let me touch anything because, in her words, Harry Potter was witchcraft. I hated not being allowed to even look, not to talk of buying a book. It sucked more because I really loved books. But the fun part came when I found out that my cousin with whom we were staying had a library card. I could use it to visit the public library and read as many books as I wanted. I also remember being fascinated by the buses and trains, how chill they seemed. Growing up in Lawanson, Lagos, I wasn’t used to that.

We stayed the whole summer and I came back to Nigeria with enough clothes and “stuff” for me to be hip in school the following week, and it wasn’t until five years later that I was able to leave Nigeria again. This time, to the US.

Your family must really love travelling

Yes. Everyone is very well-travelled and it’s actually encouraged to travel as much as we could. The London trip wasn’t something we could afford on a whim, but my mum squeezed out resources, and it was worthwhile.

Tell me about the trip to the US

My mum wanted us to have the Disneyland experience, so she planned it out. The park experience was golden. I think I threw up at a point because I had motion sickness sha. But it was a lot more “outside” than the trip to London.

Where did you go next?

My mum got a job in Namibia, and because my siblings and I were in boarding school in Nigeria, we had to travel every holiday to see her. We did that for about a year and a half, till I graduated from secondary school.

After that, I went for an international baccalaureate at a boarding school in Swaziland — now Eswatini — and I was there for about two years.

Eswatini? What’s it like?

It’s one of the last two Kingdoms left in Africa, and it opened my eyes to just how diverse Africa really is. The school is quite international, so I was able to meet people from different countries in the same place. I became popular very quickly for being a “loud” Nigerian, as I was tagged. It’s because everyone else was so chill. The only people who had my energy were the Mozambicans. I’d say they’re the Nigerians of Southern Africa. My stay at the school helped me learn how to identify different African countries based on their accents.

There was also a sharp contrast between the food in Namibia and Eswatini. Namibia has a lot of wildlife, so they tend to eat a lot of meat, while Eswatini is more lush and green, so their food is heavy on vegetables. After graduating, I went to America for college.

What did you expect from America, and what did you find?

I wasn’t expecting anything I hadn’t already seen in some form. But this time was still different. My school was in a small town in Indiana, so it was very Midwestern. I’d been to New York before then, and the contrast is huge. The town was a lot more country-like, and the population was older and much more white.

Because it was a small town, there was really no public transportation. Unless you had a car, it was hard to go anywhere far for the things you wanted to enjoy. It wasn’t until much later that this student couple started a delivery service that really saved our lives. A while after, someone opened an Indian restaurant, so things got a bit better.

I got pretty cooped up very fast, so I started taking any chance I could get to catch a break. I did everything from exchange programmes to internships and volunteering. Eventually, my degree programme ended, and I moved to Washington.

Why Washington?

Because of my travel history, I’ve always wanted to work in international policy affairs. So, I got a job in that area, and it required me to move to Washington. Also, my mum had moved to the US by this time. She was staying in Maryland, less than an hour from D.C. by train.

Tell me about D.C.

Coming here was a breath of fresh air, to say the least. First, it was a lot more culturally diverse for my travelling spirit. There were a lot more black people. In fact, Washington D.C. used to be called “Chocolate City” back in the 70s by many black people because it had a predominantly African-American population. But the black population is not as high as it used to be because of the high price of houses.

I have a lot more food options here than I did in Indiana. There’s Thai, Mexican and Indian food, so I no longer need to carry pepper around. I also love that even though it’s metropolitan, it’s not as bustling and crazy as New York. The roads are bigger and cleaner, there’s a lot more greenery, and the people are a bit laid back.

Tell me more about the people of D.C.

Washington is a transit city for most people because of its political nature. There are many diplomats or people who work in important government positions here. In fact, you could meet someone who works for the president in a park and have a chat with them without realising who they are. Their stay often changes with the political seasons, though. But for me, D.C. is home now.

What’s your favourite thing about the place?

I’d say the greenery. Maybe it’s just the part of D.C. I live in, but it’s just so beautiful. You need to see it for yourself to appreciate it.

Will this be your last stop?

Even though D.C. really feels like home, I can’t say for sure because that travelling spirit hasn’t left me yet. I’ve been to 34 countries, and I still want to visit many more. I actually have a list to track my travel. I haven’t been anywhere in South America and some parts of Southeast Asia, so they’re definitely in my travel plans.

Hey there! My name is Sheriff and I’m the writer of Abroad Life. If you’re a Nigerian and you live or have lived abroad, I would love to talk to you about what that experience feels like and feature you on Abroad Life. All you need to do is fill out this short form, and I’ll be in contact.

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Starting next week (January 31st, 2021)
There’s some good news for you if you use Nigerian airports a lot. The Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA) has reviewed the COVID-19 health guidelines for the aviation industry and lifted restrictions on face masks and mandatory testing for travellers.

What’s the full gist?

On December 12, 2022, the Presidential Steering Committee on COVID-19 made an announcement. President Muhammadu Buhari had approved the immediate relaxation of COVID-19 safety measures and travel advisory.

In September, the World Health Organisation (WHO) had announced a global decline in COVID-19 infections. Between February and September, the number of weekly reported deaths dropped by more than 80%.

The Nigerian government’s announcement means all aviation service providers for domestic and international operations must cancel the COVID-19 Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR) test for all categories of passengers, regardless of whether they’re vaccinated or not.

Face masks are no longer mandatory at airports, although the NCAA still advised that people aged 60 years and above, those whose immune systems are compromised and those with comorbidities should stick to safety measures, including avoiding large gatherings.

What does this mean for travellers?

No more do you have to go to the airport looking like a masked avenger. Most importantly, you can pocket the thousands of naira spent on compulsory COVID-19 tests and save it for Detty December.

It’s also good news for the aviation industry which hopes to rebound from the last couple of years in which restrictions seriously affected profit margins. It’s wins all round for those who want to japa, the IJGBs, and the airline operators. All in all, it’s a good note to close the year on.
As I prepare to write my final exams, I reminisce on my time shuttling between Lagos and Benin city the last five years. Even though I’m from Edo state, I was born and raised in Lagos, so living in Benin was a chance to connect with my people. However, as much as I like to deny it, I’m a Lagos babe through and through. I like the hustle and bustle that comes with Lagos. As much as I complain about the traffic, a traffic free life scares me. I love

The culture shock I first experienced in my first year in 2018 hasn’t ended since. If you’re a Lagos babe like me and you want to know what to prepare for if you ever have to come to Benin city, first of all, never wear white shoes out. Benin and red sand are like Lagos and traffic — joined together, never to depart from one another. Your shoes will change to shades of red and orange, and you’ll hate yourself and the person who brought you to Benin.

Of course, not everywhere in Benin is covered in red sand, but most of it is. Especially the places that require you to walk. That brings me to my second culture shock. There are parts of Benin where you forget that okadas exist. In Lagos, I’ve watched various governors try and fail to ban bikes. They bring their little task forces and impound lots of people’s okadas, but one week later, they are back on the road.

My cousin told me there were no bikes in Benin, and I thought she was joking. When Oshiomole decided to ban them, he banned them for real. Lagos state governors should come and learn work from him. Edo state has mostly expressways and bikes are a big no-no except within specific streets. Even then, it’ll take a while to find one. If we’re being honest, finding anything in Benin city will take a while. The early morning grind culture I grew up with in Lagos? Non-existent in Benin city.

Benin people do not like to stress. They do things at their own pace, especially if those things are running a business. You go to a shop to buy something, and the owner sits while you attend to yourself. If you finish and don’t have the exact change, they can’t be arsed. Get out. I’m used to sellers in Lagos offering to at least find change for me. I can’t forget when a woman shouted at me for trying to buy a sachet of milk with ₦200, like I’d committed a crime. I had to return to my streets milkless and annoyed. It was even worse because I had to walk a long while to find a shop open by 8:30 a.m. on a weekday. They open their shops late and close them early. Do you want to order a Bolt by 7 a.m.? Better use that time to fill up your water bottle and start trekking. Anything that relates to stress? Benin people can’t take it. They don’t care if you’re paying them. Their gist, their peace, their rest come first.

If these business owners eventually answer you, language might be a barrier. If you’re like me and don’t speak Benin fluently, I’ll advise you to brush up on your pidgin. The pidgin they speak here is unlike the one they speak in Lagos. Dem fit use am sell you for your front, and you go just dey shine teeth. Your 32 go dey sparkle but dem don call price for your head. Better go and hire a pidgin lesson teacher. Make e no be like say I no warn you before. At least, if you narrate your story give another person, you go include say I warn you. If you no include am, the thunder wey go fire you dey warm up for Oba palace. Dem no dey talk too much give wise man.

RELATED: Dating in Benin on a ₦400k Income

If you get the language part down and have to deal with the business owners behaving anyhow, you might feel tempted to interfere. You might want to raise your shoulder and shout at them to prove a point because you’re now a superstar, shey? The insults they’ll rain on you will humble you. I’ve not met a group of people with a worse mouth than Benin people. They curse you to say hello, and if you complain, you chop some more.

Last week, I offered to do something for my roommate, and she ignored me. I told her, “I don’t blame you; it’s me that wanted to do good.” Tell me why one of my Benin roommates replied, “Instead of the good you want to do to kill you, it will kill the person you wanted to do it for.” The scream I let out could’ve been heard from the gate. What did I start? What did she finish? And she said it so casually, like it was an everyday phrase. After the initial shock wore off, I added it to my dictionary. Benin has taught me a lot of interesting and colourful statements. When I unleash them in Lagos, they’ll gather and beat me.

Benin isn’t all bad. I think my favourite thing about the place is the electricity timetable. Every street has a particular time they “bring light”, which is helpful to plan your day. If they bring your light by 6 a.m., you know it’s there till 9 a.m. Anything you want to do should be done by then. When they take it, it’s till 12 p.m. It’s very consistent; they hardly bring light when it’s not yet your turn. Unfortunately, when rain falls, it can take two to three business days for the wire to dry, and in that period, nothing for you. Just zukwanike. Rest.

Benin is for people tired of the hustle and bustle of places like Lagos. Rent is not as expensive, but that’s rapidly changing. With the rate at which fraudsters are pumping money into the shortlet apartment industry in Benin, if you want to come, come fast.

There’s a lot of time to just relax and take it easy. If you enjoy a vibrant nightlife, omo, nothing for you. Except you don’t mind peppersoup and beer joints. That one, Benin has in abundance. You’ll eat grasscutter so much you’ll start growing it on your head. If you’re trying to find clubs, whatever they show you there, better close your eyes and collect it. Lounges? Same thing. Whatever you use your eye to see, your mouth might be unable to say.

The people who were born here or moved willingly don’t have a bad thing to say about Benin city. If they could, they’d choose to be born here over and over again. Me, on the other hand? I’m dipping the first chance I get.

RELATED: 9 Things You HAVE to Know if You Are Leaving Benin to Lagos
Nigerians are doing everything to escape the actions of a failing government which has produced the japa trend taking the country by storm. Migration is nothing new, and humans have always been on the move.

However, we’re seeing people quitting their well-paying jobs, their education, and even their families, hoping a better life awaits them anywhere but here.

This belief has driven even people who can’t afford to leave legally towards irregular means of migration. And while we can’t discourage anyone from seeking greener pastures, we can safely tell you some ways to not japa.

Don’t be a stowaway

A stowaway is someone who hides in a ship or plane to travel without paying. On November 29, 2022, three Nigerian men were found in the rudder of a ship when it arrived in Spain. The men sat on the ship’s rudder as it made its 11-day voyage from Nigeria to Spain, with their feet just a few centimetres from the water. By the time they were found, they already had symptoms of dehydration and hypothermia and had to be taken to a hospital.

They were fortunate to still be alive, but this isn’t the first time this has happened. On September 4, 2022, a 14-year-old boy was found unconscious, passed out from the drugs he took, in the wheel of a packed aircraft. The boy said he hoped to be anywhere but Nigeria. Stowaways like him face numerous health risks: hypothermia, frostbite, tinnitus and, more often than not, death.

Don’t cross the desert

Nigerians are hustlers and this can get us into serious trouble sometimes. Many people try to cross the Sahara Desert to get to Libya and make their way to Europe. They’d even sell off their businesses and properties to raise enough money to get to Agadez, Niger, where they pay an additional fee of about $500 to cross the desert. Unfortunately, not many survive this trip due to the brutal weather conditions and those who manage to get to Libya can end up in slave camps.

Don’t cross the ocean on bad boats

Most people in slave camps end up sold to different slave masters, and for people lucky enough to not end up in these camps, they meet so-called connection men who take them to board boats to cross the Mediterranean Sea. Unfortunately, these boats are very rickety and usually end up capsizing or just stopping in the middle of nowhere.

This leaves the migrants stranded at the mercy of the coast guards who throw them into prison or deportation camps till the International Organization for Migration (IOM) steps in, and this can take a long time.

Don’t swear an oath

Not all Nollywood movies are just fiction; some are based on real-life stories. As you might have seen in the Netflix movie, Òlòturé, most women who have fallen victim to sex trafficking abroad are asked before the beginning of their trip to swear an oath. This prevents them from reporting their traffickers to the police.

These women live in fear of the consequences of breaking this oath even after being freed from the sex traffickers. So, if a family “friend” is promising you a better future overseas under the condition that you see a baba first, run.

Nigerians’ desperate need to japa by any means reflects a failed system. People can hardly picture themselves living better lives while still in the country, and seeing as this might not be sustainable in the long run, it shows how much of our future depends on the coming 2023 general elections.
Before you dream too much about your japa plans, you should know there’s such a thing as a visa interview, which determines if your japa dream will become a reality.

In other words, you can do everything right, but your village people can still jam you at the interview. Not on our watch, though. Take note of these clever answers to all the most-asked questions.

“Have you been to this country before?”

Yes, I have, actually. In my dreams. That’s why I’m here to make my dreams a reality. Please, help me.

“What will you do if you run out of money there?

Nigeria has taught me how to hustle. I run out of money here, so it’s nothing new. I also like fasting. It’s my best hobby.

“Do you have health insurance for this journey?”

I don’t really used to fall sick like that.

“How long do you plan to stay?”

As long as God is on the throne. Besides, only God knows my tomorrow.

“Do you currently have relatives or friends in this country?”

I can make friends easily. Don’t even worry.

RELATED: If Your Friend Is Doing Any of These 10 Things, They’re Going to Japa Without Telling You

“Can you show us your bank statement?”

See, officer, I don’t want to offend you by showing you something that’ll spoil your mood. Let’s just be thanking God for life.

“Why do you want to leave your country?”

Shey you dey whine me ni? I love your sense of humour, officer.

“What do you do for a living?”

I wake up every day determined to leave this country. My japa dream is all I live for.

“Who will take care of your properties in Nigeria while you’re away?”

It’s someone who has properties that’ll be thinking that one. Just let me go, make money and come back first.

What’s your opinion of this country?

I know my destiny helpers are there. Just let me pass.

Z! Fest is this Saturday!!!

NEXT READ: 8 Ways to Let Your Enemies Know You’ve Japa’d
The japa wave for Nigerians seems to be getting some pushback recently in the form of visa bans, visa restrictions and even deportations.

While these actions won’t stop Nigerians from making their japa plans, it’s important to flag some countries you should probably cross off your destination lists. These countries are either historically hostile to Nigerians with inhumane treatments or have shown us shege in recent times.

Consider this a travel advisory.

United Arab Emirates (UAE)

The United Arab Emirates (UAE) used to be the go-to spot for premium enjoyment for Nigerians, but they appear to be sick of hosting Nigerians these days. On October 21, 2022, the UAE banned Nigerians from applying for visas and even canceled already submitted applications without refunding applicants.

When a Nigerian raised alarm about the maltreatment of other Nigerians trying to enter the country in August 2022, the UAE jailed her for violating a cybercrime law.

I'm at Dubai international airport and myself and some tiger Nigerians with valid Visas are being held in a room hours after arriving with no explain and no information on what we can do. Please help me. There's more than 20 of us pic.twitter.com/6LpchsoJU2
— Dinchi. (@dunchichi) August 31, 2022

No one really knows UAE’s reasons for the visa ban so it’s best for Nigerians to find another vacation hotspot.

ALSO READ: Why Nigeria’s Relationship With the UAE Is Hitting the Rocks

Libya

In 2018, the United Nations (UN) released a report that detailed the horrors Nigerians face in Libya — ranging from unlawful killings to gang rape, arbitrary detention, torture, unpaid wages, slavery, human trafficking, racism, and xenophobia.

Between April 2017 and February 2022, 19,452 Nigerians voluntarily returned home from Libya. So if anyone ever suggests Libya as a japa option, run, please.

Indonesia

In March 2022, Nigeria’s House of Representatives moved to address the violation of the human rights of Nigerians in Indonesia after Arinze Igweike died in the custody of immigration officials. The officials arrested him with two other Nigerians and brutalized them until he died.

In August 2021, Indonesian officials were filmed assaulting Abdulrahman Ibrahim, a Nigerian consular officer based in Jakarta. In the film, they held him down inside a vehicle while he begged for air as he couldn’t breathe. Indonesia apologised for the maltreatment but the incident put the spotlight on how the treatment of Nigerians in Indonesia could be better.

South Africa

In September 2020, thousands of South Africans marched on the streets with plaques and banners, demanding that Nigerians and other foreigners leave their country.

The protesters claimed foreigners are taking away their jobs and committing crimes — the same narratives used to attack foreigners in the past.

[Image source: Ewn]

In August 2022, the Nigerian High Commission to South Africa warned Nigerians of imminent attacks on foreign nationals due to the recent utterances of a group, ‘’Operation Dudula”. As a Nigerian, to live in South Africa is to always dread the next wave of xenophobia.

India

The reality of what’s happening to Nigerians in India isn’t always the song and dance you see in Bollywood movies. In 2021, a Nigerian activist in New Delhi shared how Nigerians were victims of inhuman treatment — ranging from illegal experimentation for COVID-19 vaccines to the death of a 43-year-old Nigerian, Leohand Lyeanyi after a police officer allegedly assaulted him.

In October 2022, 60 Nigerian students fled Genoka University after Indian students beat and abused them on the football field and in their hostel.

Northern Cyprus

The Nigerian government has flagged Northern Cyprus many times as hostile to Nigerians. At least 100 Nigerian students studying there died under questionable circumstances between 2016 and 2020 but nothing has been done to address their cases.

What’s worse about Northern Cyprus is it’s not a country recognized by anyone in the world other than Turkey. This means the Nigerian government can’t have direct diplomatic engagements with them to help Nigerians when they run into trouble there.

The government’s message is clear: whatever happens in Northern Cyprus, you’re on your own.

Do you know of any more countries we missed that should be red flags for Nigerians? Let us know.

ALSO READ: Why You Should (Probably) Remove Northern Cyprus From Your Japa List
Friends may choose to japa without telling you, but here are ways you can find out about their plans. All you have to do is pay attention and see if they’re showing any of these ten signs.

Eating too much Nigerian food

Only people that know they won’t get to taste food from home will suddenly switch from duck prosciutto and alfredo pasta to amala and ewa agoyin. Or from medium rare steak to roadside suya.

Not eating enough Nigerian food

Because they’ve been eating Nigerian food all their lives, they need to prepare for what outside food will taste like. They’re suddenly interested in eating mac and cheese.

RELATED: Even My Siblings Didn’t Know About My Japa Plans

Buying suitcases

No Nigerian wakes up one day and decides they want a new suitcase unless they want to travel. If your friend suddenly starts looking for new boxes to buy, japa plans are in order and they don’t plan on telling you.

Selling all their property

If your friend suddenly needs a buyer for a couch, television or mattress, they’re gathering money to buy these things in their new country.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Best Friend Lied About His Move Abroad

Getting durable hairstyles

When your friend makes braids that can last up to three months or suddenly chooses the loc life, they’re going to a country they know haircare is expensive and they may not quickly see a proper hairdresser or barber.

Speaking with a new accent

If your friend suddenly starts speaking in a new accent, they’re practising for their real country and are starting now to adjust their tongue.

RELATED: Abroad Life: I Hid My Japa Plans From My Parents

Converting to foreign currencies

If you say something is ₦30k and three suddenly start converting that amount to dollars or euros, they’re about to leave. Why else would someone turn to a currency converter overnight?

Sudden interest in the price of coats

Why will a Nigerian need a coat? Which version of our weather makes it necessary for anybody to own a coat? Even in harmattan, we used to have heat If they buy a coat, they’re planning to leave to places where people need them all the time.

RELATED: QUIZ: How Desperate Are You to Japa?

Making plans to hangout

They’re trying to make sure the last memories you have of them in Nigeria are good ones

Not making plans to hangout

They want you to miss them, that’s why they’re not making efforts to meet up.

RELATED: QUIZ: How Will You Japa?
Sunken Ships is a Zikoko series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.

The subject of this Sunken Ships is Sarah* (28), who woke up one morning to find out her best friend was no longer in the country.

Tell me about how you met

Sarah: I met Kunle* in church when we were 12. It was his first time in the church, but I’d been going there since I was in my mum’s womb. I think that’s why the children’s church teacher chose me to welcome him to church. We spent a lot of time together that day.

We talked about ourselves, our families, and our life plans. Because they were new, his parents stayed back after the church service for prayers and all. My parents never left on time, so I was grateful to have his company. I think I knew at that moment that we’d be great friends.

So you only saw on Sundays?

Sarah: Yes, we did. I didn’t have a phone then and neither did I. Plus, he’s a guy. My parents would not have been okay with me going to see him. So it was Sunday or nothing. It wasn’t enough time, but we tried to compensate for it. From the moment we see each other at the beginning of service, we’re together whispering about how our schools were, what we watched and what happened in our various houses. At one point, the teacher tried to separate us, but we always found our way back together.

This was our routine for the next three years I stayed in that church. When I was 15, my dad got a job in a new state, so we had to move. The week before we did, we went to church for prayers and anointing. After the service, I spoke to Kunle. I cried a lot because he made church service so much better. We promised that once we got phones, we’d keep in touch.

When was the next time you saw him?

Sarah: University. One day, while I was walking around my faculty, I saw someone that looked exactly like him. I hadn’t thought about him seriously for a couple of months after I moved. I shouted his name and lo and behold; he turned around.

We spent the rest of that day reconnecting. I was entering university, but he was already in his second year. He took me out to eat and we spent the entire afternoon catching up on what our lives had been like. We also exchanged numbers.

Meeting up at that spot became our thing. We’d meet there every afternoon after classes and since we both stayed on campus, we’d take walks in the evening. We did everything we could together, and sometimes when we dated other people, they found our friendship a problem. We were that close.

He graduated a year before me, but we still kept in touch. When I moved back to Lagos and was looking for a place to live, he linked me up with his agent and even gave me some money for my first year’s rent. It was essential for both of us to constantly show up for each other. We did gifts, friend dates and occasional chores. He’d pay for my house to get cleaned, and I’d take his car to the car wash. It was just our way of reminding each other we were there.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: What’s Friendship Without Trust?

Did you notice any changes before he left?

Sarah: Yes. He started keeping more distance and working even harder. Kunle worked hard, but this time he was moving with a vengeance. He was barely eating and sleeping because of all the work he was doing. I’d send him meals because he’d forget to eat, and I’d even have to do his laundry. I was worried about him, and when I brought it up, he’d say the economy was hard and he wanted to be prepared.

Did you believe it?

Sarah: Not at all. I felt he was hiding something from me because he stopped telling me his plans for the day. I’d ask a question about where he went, and he’d try to manoeuvre around it.

What made me realise something was wrong was when he started selling off things. It started with clothes he said he no longer wanted, then appliances he didn’t use as often, like his toaster and microwave.

I even bought his iron because mine stopped working. When I asked why he was selling, he said the things were not so helpful, and he wanted to use the money for something useful.

He never even hinted at it?

Sarah: A week till he left the country, I was making plans with him. He told me we’d see Black Panther together when it came out. He knew he was going and chose not to tell me anything about it.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend and I Blame Nigeria

How did you find out he had travelled?

Sarah: I don’t know if he did it on purpose, but his trip coincided with a work trip I had. I was in Abuja for two weeks. I couldn’t see him physically. We had video calls and texted. When I asked why his location looked different, he said he went to an Airbnb because the light in his area was terrible.

A week into my stay in Abuja, I saw his sister post a picture of him in a place that wasn’t Nigeria. When I replied to ask her if it was a recent picture, she told me it wasn’t. So I texted him. I think that’s when all the behaviour he’d displayed started making sense.

He told me he didn’t tell me because his mother’s pastor told him not to tell anyone about the trip, that evil people would stop it.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Kunle was hardly a religious guy, so to hear him say things and do things like this? I was confused.

I haven’t even had the chance to deal with the fact that my best friend is no longer in the country because I can’t stop thinking he lied to me repeatedly.

I’m so sorry. Do you think you’d ever forgive him?

Sarah: No. I don’t pick up his calls or reply his emails. Since I’m evil, he should stay away from me.

More stories about ended relationships: Sunken Ships: My Mother Never Loved Me
It kinda feels like the migration gates have been thrown open, and folks are jumping on flights like it’s the last bus to Owerri Main Market on a rainy Friday.

If you’re also planning (or just hoping) to leave the country, you should have these in mind.

The passport office is a scam, and airport staff will tax you

Timilehin, 19

My passport expired while I was in secondary school, so I needed to get a new one for university abroad. I got to know from my mum that the passport office had this system where people were divided into two — priority list, and those they don’t give a fuck about.

Luckily, my parents knew someone at the office, so we were bumped up. I know so many people who had to turn down admissions because they couldn’t get their passports. It’s crazy.

Also, please don’t be seen carrying money up and down at the airport. I left in 2021 but was naive and held dollars openly while trying to check in, and all the customs guys were like, “Drop something for us nau.” Guy, I’m literally your child’s age mate.

Be well informed ahead of your flight

Lara, 25

I left Nigeria in 2021, and this was around the time when COVID-19 was still serious-ish. I had gotten a negative test one week before my departure and assumed I was good to go.

Imagine my shock when I got to the airport and learnt the negative test had to be done 48 hours before my flight. To cut the story short, immigration delayed me for a while, and I had to pay (almost double what I paid for my previous test) to get tested again, plus the tips I had to give the airport guys to help me make sure I didn’t miss my flight. I still had to quarantine when I arrived at my destination.

Always ask questions while planning; don’t let the fear of village people make you keep everything to yourself, only to end up spending extra like I did.

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Prepare to be delayed

Wole, 24

Especially if you’re carrying loads of foodstuff and luggage. I moved to the US in 2019 for my master’s degree. Trust Nigerian mothers, my mum loaded me with foodstuffs sufficient to open a mini Walmart in Texas.

Although we correctly labelled everything and packed everything like our folks abroad had advised us to, these immigration guys delayed us by checking every single thing. Thankfully, my mum made sure I arrived the airport four hours before my flight. If not, I would have cried.

If you’re carrying a lot, make sure to make ample time for any kind of delay.

Corruption is very alive

Chichi, 28

I left the country in 2021, and listen, while I’m all for not pushing certain stereotypes, please still hold cash when dealing with immigration.

I had done the whole passport application process myself online. I remember it was ₦17,500, and all I needed to do afterwards was go to a passport office for my interview and other biometrics. It was supposed to be really straightforward.

Spoiler alert, it wasn’t. I had to pay an officer ₦12,000 extra to “release” the passport. That’s not all. On the day I was leaving, the immigration guys at the airport kept asking me to “bless them”. Be ready to drop something small, so you don’t get delayed unnecessarily.

Start processing your passport six months ahead

Imelda, 30

In a sane world, getting your passport shouldn’t take more than two weeks after completing biometrics and other requirements. But when my mum had to visit me in New Jersey around 2021 to help with my newborn, we saw hell. We had foreseen a delay, so we started the process when I was seven months pregnant. It didn’t change anything.

My mum and siblings kept going back and forth the passport office for about five months before the passport was ready. If it wasn’t an issue with finding her details on the system, it was some information suddenly becoming incorrect. We eventually overcame, and she got here when my baby was three months old.

The passport situation may have improved now, but always start the process early.

NEXT READ: Not Every Time UK, Nigerians Can Visit These Countries Visa-Free
The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and often international too. Every week, we talk about the experience of Nigerians who have settled in other parts of the world. Their relationship with where they currently are, the journey getting to that point, and where they hope to go from there.

This week’s abroad life subject is an 18-year-old student who’s experiencing Hungary while trying to figure out what to do with his life. He talks about his struggles with solitude, cultural differences and an educational system he was ill-equipped for.

When did you decide to move abroad?

It wasn’t up to me per se. My parents wanted me to study abroad, so it was just natural.

What’s your travelling history like?

Before I came to Hungary, I’d only been to two countries — the Benin Republic and Ghana.

How did the process of moving to Hungary go?

I was in SS3, in 2020, when my dad came home one day and gave me an admission letter to study software engineering, from a school in Canada. It turned out he’d applied to one of those schools in Canada that didn’t require the usual exams. I told him I wasn’t doing it.

LMAO. How did you guys get to that point?

It was in early 2020. I couldn’t write WAEC because of the pandemic. But I’d written GCE the previous year and passed. So he’d done the entire application process himself. Hence, the admission letter.

Classic African parents

I didn’t want to study software engineering because I wasn’t interested in anything related to computers. I told him I wanted to study biomedical engineering, and he said he knew this school in Russia that was very good for courses like that. In my head, I thought, “From Canada to Russia? Jesu”. But I was like, “Let’s have it”.

LMAO. How did that go?

Omo. We started applying to the school and there was nothing they didn’t ask for. They asked for my WAEC certificate, my school results and even my JAMB score. I’d written JAMB by then, so I just sent everything over.

Mad. You weren’t even thinking about Nigerian universities?

Most of my relatives studied abroad. So it was only natural for us to do the same thing. I actually applied to the University of Ibadan. But because we didn’t know anything about how Nigerian universities worked, we missed the deadline for the submission of WAEC results. So I changed my institution of choice to the University of Jos. I was offered admission a day before I left for Hungary.

Okay, let’s roll it back a bit. How did the Russian plan go?

I was asked to write a math and physics exam. It was an online test because of the pandemic. That was the hardest exam I’d ever written in my life. I was like, “They didn’t teach us all this one o”. It was so strange. I knew I’d flunk it, and I did. So they told me I’d spend my first year doing something called “foundation”.

It was meant to help me bridge the gap between what I’d been taught in Nigeria and what I actually needed to know. And it was a lot. What was even more interesting was the first semester would be a language immersion programme. COVID was still on so I was going to school online. I spent the first semester learning the Russian language. It was hell.

How so?

I had Russian classes from 5 a.m. till 6 p.m. every day for three months. When the second semester eventually started, I started taking math and physics classes, and they were teaching us in Russian. I just knew I couldn’t do it because I literally just started learning the language. I told my parents I’ll just end up failing school and I didn’t want to study biomedical engineering anymore. This was in February 2021.

We started looking for schools in different parts of the world. There was no country I didn’t research for schools. I even found one in South Africa and applied to it, but I forgot to upload my results. In April, my mom remembered that we have a relative who was a student in Hungary. She asked the person to link us up with their agent, and that’s how we started making plans for Hungary.

What was the application process like?

It was just me sending my personal and academic documents over to the agent. I was offered admission to the same school my relative was in and I was going to be studying physics. I got invited for the visa interview at the Hungarian embassy in Abuja. They asked me Hungarian current affairs questions. I got my visa approved in August 2021 and moved a week later.

Expectation vs Reality: Hungary edition

I honestly wasn’t expecting much because I just wanted to get to school and start sha. But I expected some of that European ambience. The architecture and all that. But it’s very mid. It’s probably the “middest” place I’ve ever seen. Everything about it is mid. The economy, the buildings, the roads, the social life, everything.

It’s even worse in my city. My school is in Debrecen, and the city is dead. Literally nothing happens there. No parties, no crime, nothing. I can’t even remember ever seeing the police. I don’t know where the police station is. Also, not even sure they have prisons at all. But on the other hand, the quiet helps me focus. Coming from Nigeria where there’s so much bustle, the quietude is what I really need for school.

What culture shocks did you experience?

Everyone here smokes like they’re drinking water. Whether you’re a man or woman, young or old, and even pregnant, or carrying a toddler. It was wild for me at first. Another thing is this liquor they have. It’s called Pálinka. It looks and smells like diesel. I find it disgusting, but they drink so much of it, and it doesn’t even get them drunk.

The last thing would be the educational system. When I got my admission, I was told I didn’t need to do a foundation year. It was odd because most Nigerian students have to do a foundation year to bridge the gap in our terrible curriculum.

I wanted to do a foundation year, seeing how I’d flunked my Russian test. But I was also glad I only had to spend three years instead of four. When I started, I saw shege.

What happened?

School here is really hard. I literally lost weight after my first semester exams. People lose their minds over how difficult it is. Also, even though they teach in English, there’s some communication bypass that just makes things weird.

One time, I had an oral exam, and the examiner asked a question in English that made no sense to me because of how the sentence was constructed. I kept asking him to clarify, but he was repeating the same thing. He eventually called someone else who understood what he meant and answered correctly. He said he’d have no choice but to fail me. I was happy because I hadn’t prepared well for it, so I now had more time to prepare and retake the exam another day.

In my second semester, I realised that physics really wasn’t for me. I had chosen it because it was the only subject that I enjoyed studying in school. But what I was doing here seemed very different and I wasn’t learning much. So I wrote a letter to the dean of my school, requesting permission to switch to Computer Engineering. In the end, I went back to what my dad had suggested. I just started studying it, and I’m looking forward to what it holds for me.

What’s your social life like in Debrecen?

It’s almost non-existent. I don’t make friends easily so I have a very small circle of Nigerians here. I also have one Hungarian friend, but that’s about it. As for going out, Hungary is a dead place. I wasn’t kidding at all. It can be 7:30 p.m. and the streets will be empty. Nothing goes on here, so I just stay in my room and chill.

Also, Debrecen is a really small city. It’s smaller than Gwarimpa Estate, the biggest estate in Abuja. I think that size influenced the population, which could be a reason why nothing ever happens there.

Do you see yourself staying back after school?

LMAO. No, please. I want to leave this dead place and go somewhere else. I don’t want to start my career in Nigeria sha. Affliction shall not rise again. Maybe when I’m much older and rich enough to start businesses, I’ll consider it. Even as an undergraduate, I don’t think I’m going back to Nigeria anytime soon.

LMAO. Why?

Because I like my freedom here. I can actually do what I want. I recently got piercings on both ears, and I know once my parents see me, I won’t get a return ticket to this place. So, no, thank you.

Hey there! My name is Sheriff, and I write Abroad Life at Zikoko. If you’re a Nigerian who lives or has lived abroad, I would love to talk to you about that experience and feature you on Abroad Life. All you need to do is fill out this short form, and I’ll be in contact.