If at least 5 out of these 10 songs don’t make you feel like the powerful, badass queen that you are, then only God can help you.
1. “Bloody Samaritan” by Ayra Starr
Incase you didn’t know, you’re a ticking dynamite ready to explode, baby.
2. “Brown Skin Girl” by Beyonce ft. Wizkid
Your skin cannot be bought anywhere. That’s a flex, honey.
https://youtu.be/WJEfHc3aCPI
3. “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys ft Nicki Minaj
Hot stuff, burn us plis.
4. “Good Thing” by Asa
Is there anyone undermining your worth? Pfft. This song should remind you that you’re too fly for that.
5. “Run the World (Girls)” by Beyoncé
I mean…
6. “Koroba” by Tiwa Savage
Anyone that’s toasting you, and is not ready to give you premium enjoyment, away.
7. “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj
If you don’t, who will?
8. “Fashion Killer” by Ayra Starr
For all the black women who have a PhD in dripology.
9. “THOT Shit” by Megan Thee Stallion
Osheeey! This one’s for those owning their bad bish career with their full chest.
10. “Good As Hell” by Lizzo
This one’s for when you’re saying, “Enough is enough.” Boss up and change your life boo. *Tosses hair*
We can guess your body count based on which songs you put on a sex playlist.
Go ahead:
Questions
This is a question
Create your playlist:
Your body count is 1
You’ve slept with 1 person.
Your body count is 769
You’ve slept with 769 people.
Your body count is 8
You’ve slept with 8 people.
You’ve lost count
You’ve lost count of how many people you’ve slept with.
Your body count is 35
You’ve slept with 35 people.
Have you ever listened to a heartbreak song and wondered what exactly the person who wrote it has gone or is going through? If the answer is yes, then you are not alone. Not only have we wondered about this but we have also listened to some classic songs and are beyond convinced that Nigerian men are the reason some of them even exist. Here are five songs we are sure were written because of Nigerian men.
Brick and Lace – Love Is Wicked
Every time I listen to this song, I wonder what Brick and Lace were going through when they sat down to write and record one of the most iconic bops of the 2000s? The answer is simple: a Nigerian man. Don’t ask me how I know this. Just listen to the song and tell me that it doesn’t have a Nigerian man written all over it.
Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love
I remember listening to this as a kid and singing it with the passion of a thousand suns. I also remember listening to it as a teenager and thinking “Damn. Sis is going through it.” Now as an adult, I listen to it and can’t shake the feeling that a Nigerian man is the root of this song. There’s a line that goes “everyone’s looking ’round, thinking I’m going crazy, oh but I don’t care what they say, I’m in love with you.” This is literally the M.O of Nigerian men. Everyone will be telling you to run but you’ll be telling them that they don’t know him like you do. That’s until of course they embarrass you and leave your heart bleeding for real.
Beyonce – Irreplaceable
Beyonce opened this song with “To the left, everything you own in the box to the left” as she was chasing the man from her house after breaking up with him. Please, how am I supposed to believe this song isn’t about an Abuja man who has been squatting with her since they began their relationship? What argument can you make against that? To make it worse, the man went to her front to tell her that she’ll never find another man like him even though he was cheating? This has the guts and gumption of a Nigerian man living in Abuja written all over it.
Kelly Clarkson – Since U Been Gone
Speaking on breaking up, Since U Been Gone is a beautiful song by Kelly Clarkson and at first, I didn’t think it had anything to do with a Nigerian man. Then I heard the line ‘How come I’d never hear you say, I just wanna be with you?, Guess you never felt that way’ that’s when it clicked in me, this is how Nigerian men refuse to commit to relationships so that they can remain on the streets. You’ll ask them ‘do you want to be with me?’and a typical Nigerian man will respond with ‘ah, why else would I be here?’ Answer the damn question, Femi.
Taylor Swift – We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
This one isn’t just about a Nigerian man, it’s about a Yoruba man. One of the first lines in this song is ‘cause like, we hadn’t seen each other in a month when you said you needed space.’ Little does Taylor Swift know, that the Yoruba man she is dating has a wife that has given birth and that’s why he needs space. Nigerian men strike again.
If you attended a Nigerian primary school then this quiz should be a breeze for you.
Give it a try below:
1. Kelis – Milkshake
Kelis once said in an interview that the title of the song means “the thing that makes women special. It’s what gives us our confidence and what makes us exciting.” Well, I call bullshit because ‘Milkshake’ is obviously as a euphemism for boobs.
2. Tony Matterhorn – Dutty Wine
This smash riddim dance track found its way into the playlists at Nigerian KIDS PARTIES due to the fact that its dirty lyrics were disguised in an accent difficult to understand for those not familiar with it. Here are a few lines from the song’s second verse:
It reads like he’s describing a particularly violent game of Twister.
3. Nelly – Hot in Here
I wonder what my parents would’ve done if they knew I was at my primary school end of the year party bumping to a song that was clearly about a house party that turns into an orgy because of global warming.
4. Aqua – Barbie Girl
The iconic ode to Barbie (and her partner, Ken) was riddled with so much sexual innuendo that the group was sued by Mattel, the makers of the Barbie doll, for violating their trademark and turning the children’s toy into a sex object.
And you danced to it at your church’s bazaar while your parents cheered you on.
5. Rupee – Tempted To Touch
The song is from the POV of a guy waxing on about a sexy girl on the dancefloor he’s tempted to touch and hold tight because he has a raging boner for her. Enough said.
6. Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath
This song starts with a woman’s voice that screams “HIT ME!” and then segues into a 3 minute and 33-second long shaming session where Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle berate their lovers for not being able to keep up with them sexually. None of this mattered though because we were too busy grinding to it at birthday dancing competitions.
7) Kevin Lyttle -Turn Me On
The name of the song alone.
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!
It’s common knowledge that a lot of Nigerian songs being released right now sound alike. It’s the reason why if you’re at a club or party and you’re not really paying attention to the music, you might think the DJ just put one song on repeat and called it a day. The truth is that most of these artistes are just following a formula that works. Does that mean that we don’t get a lot of variety? Yes. But someone did say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. I’m not sure they were referring to music but whatever.
However, there are some cases where artistes have taken their own hit songs, made near replicas of those songs, and released them under different names. Here are 3 examples.
1) Ice Prince with ‘Aboki’ and ‘VIP‘.
2) Naira Marley with ‘Soapy’ and ‘Mafo’.
3) P-Square with ‘No One Like You’ and ‘Beautiful Onyinye’.
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!
Nigerian songs that sound similar
How well do you know Nigerian artists and their discography? Well, we’ve compiled some lesser-known tracks by 11 of them to test you. Prove you know your stuff by identifying the artist by 3 song titles alone.
Go ahead:
Because babies are such handfuls, the only rest time you have is when they’re asleep. However, getting them to fall asleep is a chore on its own. Seeing as the law won’t let you force-feed them copious amounts of cough syrup, here are 5 songs you can sing/play that’ll send those little crackheads to sleep faster than you can hurl an insult at your partner for knocking you up and burdening you with offspring you weren’t ready for.
1) “Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears
Sure, the chorus of the song kinda makes reference to a sadomasochistic relationship (Hit me baby one more time!), but it’s also about young love. A thing your sweet baby will be experiencing soon. Plus, it’s catchy as hell.
2) The Karishika theme song
https://youtu.be/Vlh5C8Esmzg
Skip to 14:25 to hear the iconic theme song.
The way the song starts with slowly repeated chantings of the words, “Karishika, Karishika, Queen of demons. Lucifer, Lucifer, Prince of darkness” and speeds up to a crescendo is sure to send your little one to sleep with nothing but sweet dreams.
3) “Ave Satani” from The Omen (1976)
Don’t let the fact that the title of this track literally translates to “Hail Satan” deter you from introducing your baby to this haunting piece Gregorian chant knockoff and 1977 Academy Award nominee for Best Original Song.
4) A slow acoustic version of Sisqo’s “Thong Song”
It’s acoustic. Don’t think too much about it.
5) “Barbie Girl” by Aqua
As long as you and your child focus on the name of the song and bright colours and ignore the insanely sexually suggestive lyrics (that made Mattel, the makers of the Barbie doll, sue the band’s record label), everything will be fine.
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!
