Because babies are such handfuls, the only rest time you have is when they’re asleep. However, getting them to fall asleep is a chore on its own. Seeing as the law won’t let you force-feed them copious amounts of cough syrup, here are 5 songs you can sing/play that’ll send those little crackheads to sleep faster than you can hurl an insult at your partner for knocking you up and burdening you with offspring you weren’t ready for.
1) “Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears
Sure, the chorus of the song kinda makes reference to a sadomasochistic relationship (Hit me baby one more time!), but it’s also about young love. A thing your sweet baby will be experiencing soon. Plus, it’s catchy as hell.
2) The Karishika theme song
Skip to 14:25 to hear the iconic theme song.
The way the song starts with slowly repeated chantings of the words, “Karishika, Karishika, Queen of demons. Lucifer, Lucifer, Prince of darkness” and speeds up to a crescendo is sure to send your little one to sleep with nothing but sweet dreams.
3) “Ave Satani”
Don’t let the fact that the title of this track literally translates to “Hail Satan” deter you from introducing your baby to this haunting piece Gregorian chant knockoff and 1977 Academy Award nominee for Best Original Song.
4) A slow acoustic version of Sisqo’s “Thong Song”
It’s acoustic. Don’t think too much about it.
5) “Barbie Girl” by Aqua
As long as you and your child focus on the name of the song and bright colours and ignore the insanely sexually suggestive lyrics (that made Mattel, the makers of the Barbie doll, sue the band’s record label), everything will be fine.
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