Hear Me Out is a weekly limited series where Ifoghale and Ibukun share the unsolicited opinions some people are thinking, others are living but everyone should hear.

There’s music and there’s reawakening music. The kind that helps you wake up and jumpstart into the best version of yourself. And if you’re planning to become a bad bitch, your awakening music should be — Hear Me Out — Sad Girl Music. 

When I listen to sad music, I want the songs to capture all my feelings. I want to feel the stress of dating as a Nigerian woman living in Lagos and the stress of being an adult. I want the songs to make me feel everything. 

I‘m in my late twenties now. The weight of my heartbreaks are different, and I also have to deal with the daunting sadness that comes with being a full-blown human.

I grew up listening to Westlife, thanks to my older sister who must have been going through it. I sang Westlife’s Fool Again throughout the year I turned 10 with so much passion. If I could pinpoint why I was so into a song that pretty much called me a fool, it would be that the boy I had a crush on from Primary Two to Primary Five left for secondary school that year. My first heartbreak. 

I‘m in my late twenties now, and the weight of heartbreaks hits different. I also have to deal with the daunting sadness of being a full-blown human. Music, especially sad girl music, is how I manage to navigate these emotions.

Picture this, an evening after a long day of dealing with a man you’re not in a relationship with who chooses to stress you or the babe you were willing to risk it all for leaving you for another woman she told you was her bestie. Your thoughts are all over the place, but you know there’s a song for that moment. One of the songs for that moment is Amaarae’s Sad Girlz Luv Money.  I respect Amaarae’s dedication to reminding us that sad babes are bad bitches who also love money — her song is a perfect bad bitch activation song. 

One thing sad girl music is going to do is call you out for being silly enough to fall in love in the first place.

Becoming a bad bitch can directly be linked to the kind of music you listen to. You might argue that it’s not in the music, but ask a baddie when they had their awakening, and it’s always linked to a sad song. You assess your choices and choose the path you’ll follow. Are you going to be the player or the played? You think of those things and decide the kind of person the world is receiving. 

One thing sad girl music is going to do is call you out for being silly enough to fall in love in the first place. Sad girl music is going to ask you why you let a Tobi tell you those sweet words when you know he moisturises his lips with lies. Sad girl music is going to drag you for thinking the babe you’d introduced to all your friends won’t break your heart. 

A few songs into your favourite sad girl playlist are going to leave you questioning all your relationship and life choices and vowing to do better. The effect of sad girl music isn’t immediate, though. You cry first and then spend time reflecting on how foolish you were (which is what I’m sure happened to Mariah The Scientist when she made 2 You).

The best thing about sad girl music is how unrestricted it is —  it transcends sexuality. It’s an insane genre of music that reminds you you’re the shit though it also makes you cry at the thought of the person you fell in love with.

I haven’t unlocked my full potential yet because I keep getting heartbroken left and right. I’ve refused to learn. Don’t be like me.

Regard the message, but ignore the messenger.

Till next time, it’s still Ibukkss. 

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Hear Me Out is a brand new limited series from Zikoko, and you can check back every Saturday by 9 a.m. for new episodes from Ifoghale and Ibukun.


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