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  • Excerpt: Blood is thicker than water, but I can’t keep saving him.

    Sunken Ships is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.

    For over four decades, Gani* (64) has watched his brother, Sanni* (60), abandon his responsibilities with little consequence; from leaving apprenticeships to walking out on his wives and child. 

    After years of cleaning up his messes, he finally reached a breaking point. When Sanni called on his birthday in 2023 with yet another request, it was the last straw.

    What was the moment that made you realise you had to cut off your brother?

    I had the bitter realisation in June 2023. I thought Sanni was calling me to wish me a happy birthday, but as soon as we were done exchanging pleasantries, he asked if he could come to Ife to spend two months with me and my family. I wanted to say “yes”, then I remembered this was his M.O. when he wanted to abandon his family and make them my responsibility. So I told him to lose my number.

    Wow. What was your relationship with your brother like growing up?

    We were very close growing up. My father had three wives and sixteen children; we had no choice but to have each other’s backs in that house. Together, we dodged the rival wives and their unfair punishments as much as we could. The big issue was our mother coddled us a lot to compensate for the bad treatment we suffered from our father and the other wives. I don’t think it had such a harmful effect on me, but it ruined my brother’s capacity to be accountable.

    How do you mean? 

    I remember my father telling my mother that he could only afford to train one child from each wife to the secondary school certificate level. Being the first son, I was automatically chosen, and my brother had to work on the farm with our other half-siblings, who didn’t get to go to school.

    Did this affect your relationship with him negatively?

    No. My mother assured us that once I left school and started working, I would send Sanni to school, so all he had to do was wait. I hated seeing my brother out of school, though, so when I was in Form 3, I begged my father for one of his plantain trees so I could sell its fruit for extra money. He agreed, and after school, I hawked them and saved up the money for Sanni’s education.

    My mother was touched by this and chipped in to buy him a uniform. The next year, when I moved to Form 4, Sanni started attending school.

    Was it great being in school with your brother?

    At first, I was very happy, but things quickly went sour. Sanni hated school. He didn’t have the patience to sit down and learn anything, so he would usually sneak out of his classes. I would beat him when I found out, but my mum would always sneak a big piece of meat or fish into his food that evening to make him feel better. If I complained she was spoiling him, she would say I shouldn’t kill her child for her. We had these problems till he graduated from secondary school in 1983.

    Did things get better with Sanni after you both finished school?

    Not at all. While I got a scholarship to a polytechnic in 1979 to continue my tertiary education, Sanni had no interest in school. When he graduated he told my parents he wanted to become an apprentice instead, so he started learning with a vulcaniser nearby. He couldn’t commit to his learning and stopped going soon after. He did the same start-and-stop with several other apprenticeships my mother struggled to get him into.

    How did this make you feel?

    I only heard about these when I came home to visit from school. It annoyed me because I thought he would feel a better sense of responsibility. Not only so he could stand on his own, but so he could chip in to care for our mum because I wanted her to stop going to the farm all the time. 

    Did you try to speak with him about this?

    Several times. But it was like all my words were going into one ear and coming out of the other. 

    Did he improve his behaviour at all?

    He finally finished an apprenticeship as an electrician in the early 90s, and I was relieved. We both got married in 1995 and 1997, respectively, and I relaxed, thinking we had entered the grown-up phases of our lives. I was a factory floor manager in Osun while my brother fixed fridges and other appliances in Akure.

    I thought we were doing okay, so I thought nothing of it when my brother called me in 2003 and asked if he could spend a few weeks with me because he was looking to rent a shop in Ife.

    How did you take this request?

    I was happy to have him come around. I was also happy at the thought of him and his family living close by so we could spend more time together. 

    He came to my house in January 2003, just after the New Year’s celebrations. A few weeks turned into a few months, and I began to question if Sanni was actually looking for a shop to rent.

    Did you try to nudge him for more information?

    Yes, I did. He would complain about the rent or say he hadn’t found a good location yet. I pressed him about his family, but he said they were doing well without him. I believed him till I got a call at work one day in May. It was from my sister-in-law.

    What did she say?

    She was in tears. At the start of the year, Sanni had told her he was going to visit my mother for a few days in Ikare and he would be back with their rent and she hadn’t seen or heard from him after that. I was shocked. 

    She and my niece hadn’t eaten in days because they didn’t have any more money, and the landlord was breathing down her neck. I quickly organised for one of my younger half-sisters at home to take some money to her and promised to sort out the rent issue.

    Did you confront your brother?

    I left work early just so I could give him a piece of my mind. I was irritated by his actions.

    What was your brother’s explanation?

    He gave me a flimsy excuse, saying he felt under a lot of pressure and just needed some time to figure out what he wanted to do. I told him our sister had to take money to his wife because his child hadn’t eaten for days, and he just gave me a sheepish look. I told him he was leaving my house the next day.

    How did he take that?

    I don’t know, I was too angry to care. I gave him the money for his rent and warned him about taking things more seriously. He assured me that he would make better choices and work harder. Three months later, I started getting letters and calls from my in laws. My brother had married another woman and was living with her.

    Ah. How?

    I had the same question. Apparently, my brother’s new lady friend was from a well-off family and was showering him with gifts, so he left his family high and dry and went to live with her. I couldn’t believe my ears. So I called a family meeting and travelled to Ondo to see for myself.

    How did the meeting go?

    It was a disaster. My brother attended with his new wife. He smugly declared he wasn’t interested in his first marriage any longer and that he and his new woman would start a new family. Chaos ensued. Unfortunately, my mother supported my brother. She said we couldn’t force him to stay in his marriage if he wasn’t happy.

    Omo. What did your in-laws say?

    They said they wouldn’t beg anyone to marry their daughter and took her and my niece back with them. I felt embarrassed by my brother’s actions and offered to pay for my niece’s education. My in-laws accepted, and that cooled tensions between our families a little.

    Did this incident strain your relationship with your brother?

    Yes, it did. I was very disappointed in him. I think he sensed this because he begged and asked that he and his new wife come to visit me in Ife. I grudgingly agreed.

    How did that visit go?

    They spent a week with my family and me. It wasn’t bad at all. Sanni seemed so happy with his new wife that I was starting to warm up to him again. It only took a year for Sanni to run away from her too.

    What happened?

    He ran to my house again in September 2004 and said he couldn’t continue with that marriage because she had a high sex drive he couldn’t match. I told him I couldn’t let him stay with me because I didn’t want issues with the new in-laws, and he took that as a betrayal. He went to stay with my mum instead, who pampered him and told him not to worry, to my annoyance.

    How did your in-laws take this?

    They hounded me for months to mediate, but I was determined not to get involved, so I offered to put his second wife on a small allowance till she remarried or didn’t need it anymore. My in-laws agreed, and that was the “end” of that marriage.

    Did you reach out to your mother to speak to your brother?

    No. I was sure she supported whatever nonsense my brother was up to. I wanted to wash my hands of the matter entirely, so I said nothing. Even that December, when we went to Ondo to visit my mum, I didn’t ask after his wife or how their marriage was doing. I just focused on my mum.

    Did your brother try to patch things up with you?

    Many times, he bought a cell phone and would send me texts about us being stronger together, and other texts begging us to get back to being close.

    Did your relationship with him improve at all?

    Our relationship changed for the better around 2008. Sanni remarried another lady, a nice girl from our village, in 2007. He seemed to take his electrician work seriously. Their rent was always paid, and they had twin boys in 2009. Sanni was over the moon. He was even saving up to buy a piece of land. I was proud of my little brother.

    What changed?

    The usual, he suddenly got restless. His wife called me in 2019 and said she was afraid because my brother wanted to close up his electrician business to become a prophet. I was confused.

    Did you try to ask him what that was about?

    I didn’t even want to know his rationale. I called him and told him that if he abandoned this new family, I would disown him.

    How did he react?

    I think it scared him because he stopped talking about prophets and prophecies and went back to work. I thought all was well until 2023.

    Tell me what happened.

    He called me on my birthday, and we talked for a bit. As soon as we were done with the small talk, he asked if he could visit and spend a few months at my house. I wanted to say yes at first, but I remembered the last two times he paid me a long visit. I knew he was planning another one of his abandonment routines, so I told him to delete my number.

    How did he react?

    He became angry and insulted me. He claimed that since our mother passed away in 2010, I had been looking for a way to cut him off. He also claimed that I was a bad older brother for not allowing him to heed God’s call.

    How did you react to that?

    His insults rolled off me like water off a duck’s back. At the time, I was paying his second wife’s monthly stipends and still seeing my niece through school. I still had my own family to think about. I wasn’t willing to take up even one more of his responsibilities. I insisted that if he was truly angry with me, he would delete my number and chase his dream regardless, but I wasn’t housing him for any reason.

    What has your relationship with him been like since then?

    We’ve become distant. It feels like our relationship is hollow. Sanni is still with his family, but I’m afraid that it’s only a matter of time before he tries to abandon them again. He complains to my wife sometimes about feeling bad for ignoring God’s call to life as a prophet, but I don’t care. If distancing myself is the only way he will learn, then so be it.

    Do you think your relationship with him could recover?

    Yes, but I need to see that he’s serious about taking care of his family. His lack of accountability as a man has far-reaching consequences. He has to learn to see things through. I hope he’s learning his lesson.

    If you could change one thing about this situation with your brother, what would it be?

    I would have put my foot down more when we were children. Letting my mum reinforce that he could dodge the consequences of his actions is why we’re where we are today. I love my brother dearly, but these dodgy habits are something I can no longer accept. We’re getting too old for this.

    Hey, if you’d like to share your own #SunkenShips story with Zikoko, fill out this form!

  • We often talk about the love that binds siblings together — the inside jokes, shared childhood memories, and the unspoken loyalty. But what happens when shared blood can’t bridge resentment, difference, or emotional distance?

    In this story, we spoke to people who love their siblings but struggle to connect with them as individuals. From clashing values to years of emotional neglect, they talk about learning to coexist with people they love but don’t always like.

    “Patriarchal norms have ruined my relationship with my brothers” — Nafeesat*, 21, F

    Being raised along strict gender lines has left a chasm between Nafeesat and her brothers.

    “Growing up, my family’s dynamics were heavily influenced by patriarchal views. My dad believed women did domestic chores while men provided. Beyond the chores, it robbed my brothers of empathy. They see women as weaker vessels, and as a feminist, it grinds my gears. 

    It’s affected how I interact with them. Where I feel solidarity or understanding with my sisters, I’m short-tempered with my brothers. I often have to remind myself that I love them even though our ideals are worlds apart

    I’ve tried to bridge the gap over the years with little success. I’m learning to accept that people grow and change differently. It’s not always easy navigating my relationship with them, but I’m learning to set stronger boundaries and prioritise my wellbeing.”

    “I love my older brother, but I don’t think I’ve ever liked him” — Lolade*, 26, F

    Lolade has always felt isolated from her older brother because he never had her back. As long as she doesn’t hear bad news, she’s fine with their estrangement.

    “I don’t remember ever liking my older brother as a person. Since childhood, I never felt like he had my back in the ways other people’s siblings did. He had a “sort yourself out” mentality; even his friends bullied me.

    Now that we’re grown, we’re even more distant. I can go months without seeing or speaking to him and feel nothing. It’s so bad that I’m pleasantly surprised when he’s kind to me because it’s not typical of him. My mum worries about our dynamics and often asks me to call him more often, but I can’t force what isn’t there. I want to believe it’s his personality, not that he’s a bad person. 

    As long as my mum doesn’t have any bad news about him, I’m okay. I don’t feel the need to try to fix our relationship.”

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    “My brother’s obsession with religion has strained our relationship” — Misan*, 31, M

    Misan’s brother puts church above everything, leaving him to shoulder family responsibilities alone. 

    “When my brother suddenly got religious, I didn’t have an issue with it. But soon, he started choosing church above everyone and everything. These days, I’m left to handle our family issues and wahala alone. Whenever I try to speak to him, he hides behind “God’s will” and “just pray about it”.

    I wish he’d focus on his career and become everything our parents sent him abroad to be, but he’s obsessed with church.

    I pretend everything’s fine so the family doesn’t worry, but he frustrates me. I’ve accepted he won’t change. I once imagined us working together in the same field and achieving great things, but now I’ve let that dream go. I can’t keep waiting for him.”

    “My brothers’ alcohol addiction makes him hard to like” — Zach*, 26, M

    Age and addiction have created a rift between Zach and his brothers. And it breaks his heart.

    “There wasn’t one defining event that made me start disliking my brothers — it just happened over time. They’re both much older, and over time,  I’ve watched them turn into the conservative, myopic men they once swore they’d never become. 

    It’s even worse because my oldest brother has sickle cell, so I constantly feel the weight of his mortality. Every interaction feels like a high-stakes one. 

    It also makes me question myself: do I actually like him, or am I just trying to be my brother’s keeper?

    I have more in common with my other brother, but he’s an alcoholic and a domestic abuser. It makes me wonder how much I’m allowed to love him when he has traits I despise. I’ve distanced myself from him, and even though my extended family keeps trying to get me to forgive him, I pay them no mind. They weren’t there when I heard the muffled cries of his wife or when he physically abused me. 

    For me, being related to an abuser is already hard enough. I don’t need to hold his hands and sing kumbaya with him.”

    “I hide my opinions to maintain my relationship with my siblings” — Rayo*, 29, F

    Rayo loves her siblings, but their conservative opinions often put them at odds.

    “My relationship with my siblings is complicated. I’m the last child, and the age gap between us is wide. We have a family group chat, and every time we talk about world politics or societal issues, I realise we’re on opposite sides of the spectrum. 

    I decided early on to keep my liberal opinions to myself. I know if I ever share them, I’ll probably get banished from the family. 

    It’s a bit odd being among people I love but don’t agree with — especially when it comes to their views on women, gender, politics and more. Still, I love them enough to stay quiet for as long as I can to maintain our relationship.”

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    “My sister the most difficult difficult person to deal with” — Godwin*, 24, M

    Godwin loves his sister, but her short temper and unwillingness to help with simple favours have put a permanent strain on their relationship.

    “I’m not perfect, but my sister is one of the most difficult people I’ve ever come across. I don’t remember ever being fond of her because she has a terrible temper and, as a result, a bad character.

    For instance, I can’t joke with her the way people joke with their siblings. She can play pranks on me, but the moment I return the energy, she blows up.

    She also hates doing favours. Once, I needed N16,500 to buy something and promised to pay it back that same night.  Instead of just sending it, she got irritated and nagged a lot before agreeing.

    If she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, she makes it everyone’s problem. Honestly, if we weren’t siblings, we’d just be acquaintances. I’ve accepted our relationship for what it is, but I know we’ll grow even more distant as we  get older.”

    ALSO READ: Na Me F— Up?: My Best Friend Says I Killed His Dog

  • Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.

    Abel* (25) thought giving his old PS4 to his best friend was the perfect gift. But when his older brother, Bola, found out, it sparked a family disagreement that still hasn’t been resolved. 

    At the end, you’ll get to decide: Did he fuck up or not?

    My older brother, Bola, and I used to have a great relationship. Even though we’re eleven years apart, we bonded over music, movies and games. We spent a lot of time together, but we haven’t been as close since he moved out of the house over a decade ago.

    I don’t know if it’s the pressure of being the first born or if he’s just too busy, but Bola never had time to hang out — especially in the last five years. I’d call,  drop WhatsApp messages and even leave notes, but he never replies quickly.   When he finally did, it was always with some excuse about why he couldn’t show up.

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    I eventually got used to the distance and busied myself with my hobbies. One of them was console gaming. I had a much-cherished PS4 and played different games often. I preferred playing with my brother, but he never kept up with new game releases. However, my best friend, Tolu, did.

    Tolu and I had been playing video games together since we were kids. He couldn’t afford a new game console, but he often came over to try out new games or play an old one with me.

    In late 2024, I scored a lucky bet on a Premier League game and won enough money to buy a brand new PS5. Every true gamer wants the latest console, so after I bought the PS5, the PS4 barely got any use. At first, I considered selling it off for the extra cash, but then I had a better idea: I could give the PS4 to my best friend. That way, we’d be able to play games online together like old times. I asked Tolu if he wanted the console, and he gladly accepted. So, I gave it to him. 

    Meanwhile, when I got the new console, I tried calling my brother to share the good news, but he ignored my calls and texts. Maybe he thought I wanted to ask him for money.  I didn’t think anything of it and carried on as usual. 

    A few weeks later, my brother, who’s also friends with Tolu’s brother, visited their place and saw the PS4. When he congratulated them, Tolu mentioned that I gave it to him. My brother immediately flared up and called me. He yelled that I had sidelined and betrayed him by giving my PS4 to someone else. I’ll be honest, I felt bad at first, but I reminded him he was always busy and that it never crossed my mind to offer it to him. I apologised, but he wasn’t satisfied.

    He demanded that I collect the PS4 from Tolu and give it to him. I refused. I couldn’t imagine a world where I treated my best friend that way. Bola then offered to buy it if I retrieved it. I told him the money wasn’t important to me; what mattered was that  Tolu and I could connect by playing online together. Bola took that as proof I didn’t care about him, and that led to a fight between us.

    Our mum and sister think he overreacted, but he insists I should have known he wanted a gaming console and offered it before giving it to an outsider. He said if I’d told him about PS5 immediately, he would have shown interest in the old console. 

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    Now, I’m stuck wondering: Did I mess up by not asking my brother first? Or am I wrong for refusing to collect the gift I gave to my best friend?

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    READ NEXT: Na Me F—Up? I Rejected My Boyfriend’s Public Proposal, but Still Want the Relationship

  • Siblings are often painted as your forever friends — people who’ll always have your back and love you without conditions. But what happens when they inflict your life’s deepest wounds?

    In this story, we spoke to six Nigerians who experienced a devastating fallout with their siblings. Their stories will make you question whether blood is truly thicker than water.

    “She dumped her kids on me for 8 years, then acted like nothing happened” — *Bolu, 44

    *Bolu played the family’s backbone for years and supported everyone, including her sister’s children. But even the strongest have their breaking point.

    “I was the only one with a stable job when my older sister, *Bola, got a visa to travel to London. She needed money for accommodation and begged me for a loan. I didn’t want to give it because I was saving to start a business, but our mum guilt-tripped me into helping her.

    Before she left, she dropped off her two children with me for a few months. Those ‘few months’ became eight years. She also said she’d send in money for their upkeep and the loan every month, but I didn’t get one dime from Bola. It was eight whole years of paying their school fees, feeding them, and caring for them — all while raising three kids of my own.

    Then, one day, out of nowhere, she called to say she was coming back to Nigeria. When she arrived, she treated me with complete disdain. No thanks or acknowledgement for all I’d done. She simply announced she was taking the kids on vacation. After the trip, she returned them like a parcel and told me she was leaving again.

    That was it for me. I refused to take them back and it became a huge fight. She cursed me, and my mum begged me to let it go ‘for peace,’ but I’d had enough. I insisted she take her children with her if she was leaving again.

    It’s been two years since then. She hasn’t reached out, and neither have I. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t bother me.”

    “My brother threw me out in a country I barely knew” — *Flora, 37

    *Flora never imagined her own brother would be the reason she ended up homeless abroad. It left her shocked.

    “My brother, Ike, and I were born British citizens. He’s older and was sent to study in Manchester first. But just before his convocation, our father found out Ike had dropped out after his first year, despite collecting tuition fees for almost three years. It broke our parents’ hearts, and they also became hesitant about sending me abroad. So I stayed back and studied at UNILAG.

    Years later, when my husband lost his job and we struggled financially, my father offered to sponsor our move to London. He said we could stay with Ike temporarily. By then, Ike had turned his life around. He worked at a nursing home and had his own house.

    But the moment we landed, Ike changed. He acted coldly towards us, and just two weeks in, gave us a three-day ultimatum to leave his house if we didn’t get jobs. We hadn’t even found our footing yet. I thought he was joking until the third day, when he returned from work and threw out our things. 

    Our parents called to beg him, but he stood his ground. I was in shock. I never imagined my own brother could kick me out in a country I barely knew, without caring where I’d sleep that night.

    We ended up living in a church for two months. Ike never called or checked on us. Now, we live in the same city, but as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist.”

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    “They buried our father against his wish, then threatened me” — Abisola, 50

    Abisola had never gotten along with her older step-brothers — not as a child, and definitely not as an adult.

    “I’ve never liked my older step-brothers. They were pure evil and took every opportunity to bully me as a kid. I’ll never forget when I was about nine and they fed me turkey wattle. I threw it in the bin, and they still forced me to dig it out and eat.

    Still, I tolerated them for our father’s sake. But even he suffered at their hands until the day he died. Not long before he passed, he told me he didn’t want to be buried in our village. He feared they’d do something diabolical to him.. He showed me the land he bought at Victoria Gardens and made me and his lawyer promise to bury him there.

    When I informed my brothers of his wish, they insulted me and shut me down as usual. They insisted on taking his body to the village. My father had seen it coming. He told me that if they did, I should refuse to go with them.

    So I played along until the day they planned to move his body. Then I switched off my phone and went into hiding. They searched everywhere but couldn’t find me. Eventually, they left without me.

    When they returned from the village, they stormed my house with threats — dangerous ones. That’s when I decided I was done with them. I moved to another state and stopped reaching out. They did the same. We’ve been out of contact for over ten years, and I feel relieved. They never cared about me anyway.”

    “My brother scammed us, then ghosted the whole family” — *Isaac, 27

    *Isaac always knew his brother’s selfishness would cost the family one day. He turned out to be right.

    “My brother, King, was selfish. I think it’s because he was overpampered as the first son. In 2015, our father was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He battled it for five years before he died in 2020.

    Before dying, he divided his properties equally among King, our sister, and me. But not long after the burial, King started acting out. He suddenly claimed our dad had promised him extra money for a Master’s degree abroad, beyond what he already got in the will.

    None of us believed him. So, he started blackmailing our mum until she secretly loaned him the money our dad had left in her care for all of us — without informing my sister and me.

    A few weeks after he travelled, he dropped a bombshell in our family group chat. He said he was disappointed we didn’t believe him, cutting ties with all of us, and wouldn’t refund the money because it was his ‘birthright’. He also said he never felt loved in the family.

    I was furious. I tried calling him, but he’d blocked all of us.

    It’s been three years. I’ve told my mum to stop trying to find him, but she won’t let it go. She’s even developed hypertension from the stress. As for me? If he ever comes back, he’s dead to me.”

    “He stole over ₦250M from me” — *Khalifa, 43

    It’s hard to rebuild trust when broken, especially by family. For *Khalifa, it wasn’t just the money as much as the betrayal.

    “My older stepbrother, Umar, was struggling. We weren’t close as kids, but it was hard to ignore his situation. Despite having an accounting degree, he was selling recharge cards to survive.

    I brought him into my shipping business and put him in charge of the money and financial records. He started off well. But after a while, things didn’t add up. Business slowed and money started disappearing. I got suspicious but blamed the economy. Umar was older and a respected Alfa, so I trusted him completely without suspicion.

    However, his wife eventually told my wife that Umar was planning to scam one of my business partners and steal money. That was when I started digging. I found out he’d siphoned over ₦250 million.

    He used the money to buy properties under different names. We tried recovering some of the finds, but most had vanished. When I threatened to arrest him, he finally admitted everything and begged. I let it go. But I will never forgive him.”

    “She called me infertile and spread rumors about me” — Tara, 31

    Siblings should be your first and fiercest defenders. For Tara, her sister only worsened her reputation.

    “My mum had gone to spend some time in the U.S. and returned with lots of gifts. Since she was at my place, all the goodies were with me.

    When it was time to share, my sister tried to take everything — clothes, food. She claimed she deserved more because she’s older. She even packed clothes that wouldn’t fit her kids. I joked about it, but she turned it into a full blown fight.

    She said horrible and degrading things that made me realise the issue was deeper than just the gifts. The one that hit hardest? She said I was jealous because I was infertile and she had kids. Even after all that, I tried to make peace. Then I heard she’d been spreading disgusting rumours about me and my husband. My own sister.

    That was the last straw. It became clear she didn’t want peace. We cut each other off from then, and I haven’t looked back since.”

    Read Next: “He’s an abusive deadbeat” — These Nigerians Explain Why They Cut Off Their Parents

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  • *Amaka, (26) was content with her role as first daughter to her parents and big sister to her three younger siblings. But after losing both of her parents within a year, she had to learn how to become the head of the house while also protecting her siblings from leeching family members. 

    This is Amaka’s story, as told to Itohan

    When people ask what I define as couple goals, I always think of my parents. They didn’t just love and care for each other, they genuinely liked each other. You could see it in the way they planned our family life.

    After they had me, they waited six years before having  my younger sister. Four years later, they had my second sister, and by the time I was 15, they had my brother, the last born. I remember asking them why they spaced us out so much, and my mum said it was because they wanted to make sure they had enough money, time, and attention to offer each child. When they felt they could handle another child, they went for it. Growing up, they never made decisions alone. You couldn’t get my mum to agree to something if dad had already said no. They were a team in all the ways that mattered. That’s why when my mother fell ill, I knew my dad wouldn’t last long without her. 

    She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in February of 2022. She had been complaining about stomach pain, and my dad and I kept begging her to go to the hospital. Ever since I was a little girl, my mum had always avoided hospitals; bitter leaf and bitter kola were her go-to remedies for everything. When she eventually decided to get tested, I knew it was really bad. 

    It took several tests before they discovered it was cancer, and by then, it was already advanced. My siblings were so young, and I had to be the one to tell them. My d ad could not mention her name without breaking down. I had to be strong for everyone in the house, including my dad. I had just finished NYSC and was transitioning between careers, all while splitting hospital shifts with my dad. Sometimes, I’d shower in her hospital room because I was heading straight to work. I was stressed, but there was nothing I could do. I was the first child, and I loved my mum. I wished I had someone to talk to. My dad  became a shadow of himself. My younger sister was 18 and in university, the third was still in secondary school, and the last born was in primary school. I felt alone, and that  feeling lasted throughout her hospital admission. 

    She  passed on  a weekend in April of 2023. We were all in the hospital with her. My dad was singing her  favourite hymn, she liked it but was unresponsive as usual. However, as the hymn ended, she whispered, “I love you all,” and passed. It was the first thing she’d said in days. I like to believe she wanted us to hear  how she felt about us and say goodbye. 

    That was the day the spark left my dad’s eyes. Leading up to her burial, he did not speak to anyone. He spent most of his time alone in his room, in tears. I had to console my siblings and plan the funeral because he  was too heartbroken. When he passed in August, I was not surprised. He was not sick, he was not in the hospital, he just went to bed and didn’t wake up. I found him lying next to a picture of my mum. My siblings screamed and cried endlessly, but me? I didn’t shed a tear. I think I had already done most of my grieving while watching my mum die, and deep down, I think I was preparing for my dad’s death too. I had just turned 25 in June, and suddenly, I was an orphan responsible for three children.

    Planning his funeral felt a bit funny because I had used the same vendors  from  my mum’s  burial, so they  gave me  a lot of discounts. I could tell they pitied me, and honestly, I pitied myself too, but I just  kept repeating, “Get through this, then you  can  move on with your life.” Maybe, finally afford myself the grace to breakdown and cry like I know my body and soul needed, but I was so wrong. After the burial, new problems surfaced. 

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    My parents had done well financially. They could afford to send us to private universities, and they had a couple landed properties scattered around the country. Plus, from the brief meeting I had with my dad’s  lawyer, I knew he had kept some money aside for schooling for my siblings for a few years. Unfortunately, I was not the only one concerned with the finances of my parents. 

    A few weeks after the burial, some of his “brothers” came to our house one day and demanded to see me. They said they would be moving into the house so they could oversee certain things because the only man of the house was less than ten years old. They started pointing at things they planned to sell and asked me to bring out property documents my dad had. I don’t know if they thought I would hand it over to them willingly. Clearly, they didn’t know I’m my mother’s stubborn daughter. I told them to sit and make themselves comfortable while I searched for the documents. Then I called a friend whose dad is in the military. When I told her what was happening, she called her father, and he agreed to send some of his men to the house. I also called my dad’s lawyer, who had said he was on the way with some documents he needed me to sign. I told him not to bring any documents until the situation was under control. 

    When the military men arrived, they first cleared out the truck outside that was meant to move my parents’ belongings, then entered the house. I wish I could record the look on my uncles’ faces. It was a mix of disbelief and shock. When the soldiers asked what I wanted them to do, I said, “If they’re not gone in the next minute, take them to the barracks and teach them a lesson.” At first, my uncles didn’t move, but when the soldiers started counting, they ran out of the house shouting that they’d “be back.” 

    After that incident, I didn’t see them again until January of 2024. My younger brother had fallen incredibly ill at the time and was on admission in the hospital, so I was barely at home because I had to keep an eye on him while one sister was in school and the other was home for the holidays. One day, while I was at the hospital, my sister called crying that there were some people at the gate of the house shouting and demanding to be let in. I had to leave my brother and rush home, but not before calling for backup. On getting home, I met my family members there once again, but this time they were more than the last time. They were shouting that it was an abomination for me to have used soldiers to threaten my elders. “This is what happens when a woman tried to be head of the house,” they said. Honestly, I was not in the mood for it. I was tired, my sister sounded distressed when she called me, and I needed to go back to see my brother. When I tried to push past them to enter the house, someone dragged me by my hair, and I fell to the ground. They were insulting me and telling me I had no right to stay in their brother’s house without their permission. The same house I’d lived in for years? A house my parents built together? 

    Luckily for me, as I was on the floor, the police I had called showed up with my mum’s younger brother. He saw me on the floor and told the officers to bundle all the people present. That’s how the police arrested about 5 of my uncles. He went with them to the station, and I went into the house to make sure my sister was okay. When she saw how I looked, she offered to be the one to stay with my brother that night. I usually wouldn’t allow it, because she was just a child, but I was too tired to say otherwise. That night, I got so many calls from my dad’s relatives calling me a shame, a disgrace, and other things. These people who watched my uncles try to bully me without interfering suddenly remembered that family should not treat each other badly. I wanted to switch off my phone so bad, but I couldn’t. I needed to be reachable in case of emergencies with my siblings. 

    After I showered, I went to lie down in my parents’ room. And for the first time since all of this began, I cried. I woke up with red, swollen eyes and a sore throat. My body was weak, and I was in so much pain, but I needed to be strong for my siblings. My brother was  discharged a few  days later. And then,  I was the one on the hospital bed. The doctors said I was stressed, dehydrated, had high blood pressure among many other illnesses. I was ready to leave the next day, but my siblings made me stay, just for about three days. My mum’s  younger brother stayed with them in the house so I could rest. And honestly? I liked being in the hospital. It was the first time in almost two years that I felt taken care for. 

    It’s been almost three years since we  lost our parents, and almost two years since all of the drama with my uncles happened. No one has come to disturb us again. Maybe sleeping in police custody for a couple of days was what they really needed to straighten up. My siblings are doing well in school, and my younger sister is about to graduate from university. I miss my parents every day. I open my eyes and honestly, all of this has been tough and stressful, but my siblings are amazing. We help each other however we can. 

    We’re all we have, and somehow, we’re making it work.

    READ ALSO: What She Said: I Don’t Feel Safe at Home Anymore

  • In Nigeria, it’s a common sentiment that firstborn children automatically become the people their younger siblings go to for money. In essence, it’s expected that the elder child has more money. But what happens when the reverse is the case, like it is for Wale*?

    In this story, 28-year-old Wale shares how he grew up believing he had to provide for his younger siblings. Unfortunately, his younger brother has always been better off, which has translated to finances. Wale now struggles with resentment at his brother’s success and his own perceived failures. 

    As told to Boluwatife

    One of my earliest childhood memories is of a time my mum scolded my two younger siblings for calling me by my first name. They had to call me “Brother Wale” or be punished. 

    My mum is big on respect and culture and instilled that consciousness into her children. We knew we had to prostrate to greet every older person and could never question elders. In our house, my siblings didn’t dare to pick a snack or toy until I’d made my choice. 

    Once, my younger brother wanted to watch a cartoon show, but I was watching something else, so my mum refused to let him change the channel. 

    She told him, “Ask your brother to consider changing the channel or you watch what he’s watching.” 

    That was how it was at home. It didn’t matter that I was only a little over a year older than my immediate younger sibling and three years older than our last born. As the firstborn, I deserved the first pick of everything.

    My mum also emphasised the need for me to look out for my siblings. As the first child and default head of the family after my dad, I had to care for and provide for my siblings. 

    So, during my siblings’ birthdays, my mum would ask, “What did you buy for your brother?” She also regularly prayed, “May you be the head indeed and set a path for your younger ones.” 

    As a result, I believed I needed to be ahead in every way to be a worthy elder brother. But it isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially if you have a genius younger brother. 

    Since primary school, my immediate younger brother, Kunle, has been ahead of me. 

    First, it was academics. He always snagged first position and several awards in his class while I struggled with third or fourth positions in mine. This didn’t rub off well on me. 

    My mum never compared our results but always nudged me to work harder to reach my full potential. I felt she did this because Kunle was doing so well, and I didn’t like it. But try as I may, school just wasn’t my strong suit. 

    Fast forward to secondary school, the girls flocked to Kunle more. He was a school prefect and girls liked smart boys, but I often got jealous of the attention he was getting. Thankfully, we didn’t attend the same university, so I didn’t have to compare myself to him. We also finished with the same second-class upper grade. 

    Now that we’re both adults, I have another thing to worry about: Kunle is more successful and has significantly more money than I do. He works in tech, and while I don’t know his actual salary, I know he earns in dollars and makes at least ₦1.5m monthly. Meanwhile, I’m here, waking up at 5:30 a.m. every day, fighting for my life at a ₦270k/month marketing job.

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    It probably sounds like I’m not happy for my brother — I am. I’m glad he’s doing well. It’s just that his life and career trajectory make me feel like I’m not growing as much as I should. I can’t make certain decisions because I don’t have as much money, and it doesn’t feel good.

    For example, for my mum’s birthday last year, Kunle suggested that we gather ₦1.5m each over nine months to buy her a small car. I felt both insulted and useless. He knows I don’t earn as much as he does, so suggesting that amount felt like a dig at me. I should have been leading the conversation about what to get for our mother. But I couldn’t.

    I hate what not having as much money as my younger brother means for me. Kunle should be the one who looks up to me or bills me, but I’m the one who occasionally has to ask him for loans . Most of the time, he doesn’t allow me to repay the loans, but that only makes me feel worse. 

    As if that’s not enough, Kunle has his apartment while I still live with our mum. It’s like I’m just a figurehead claiming to be an elder brother, and honestly, I’m jealous of his progress. 

    This situation has affected our relationship. We weren’t super close as children, but we talked to each other and joked about our struggles. But there’s been a dynamic shift. As adults, it only makes sense that many of our conversations will revolve around money, the economy and our relationships. 

    I can’t just call my brother to rant because I fear he’ll assume I need money and offer to help me. So, I avoid talking to him instead. 

    We also can’t hang out as much because how do I explain I don’t have ₦20k to spend on drinks and food? Our communication has inevitably reduced to sending each other happy birthday messages and greetings when we see each other.

    My mum doesn’t say it, but I’m sure she’s disappointed I’m not “taking the lead” like she expects. I know it’s not exactly my fault. The economy is terrible, and many Nigerians like myself don’t earn enough to live comfortably despite working so hard. 

    People like my brother are a rarity — not many people will get the opportunity to work for foreign companies and earn so much. Still, I can’t help the resentment and feeling like I’m not doing enough. I keep hustling to get a better job to increase my income, but I’ve gotten nothing.

    Maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad if my brother weren’t as successful as he is. Or maybe I still would. I can’t say for sure, but this is my reality. I don’t feel like a worthy firstborn, which greatly bothers me. I can only hope things change for the better soon.

    *Names have been changed for anonymity.

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    NEXT READ: I Lost My Parents to Inheritance Wars. I’m Not Leaving Money to Any Family

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  • Over the weekend, Nigerian filmmaker Kunle Afolayan and his brother, Aremu, settled their age-long dispute during their mother’s funeral. Watching the Afolayan brothers reconcile got me searching for people who have cut ties entirely with their siblings or are struggling with fractured relationships.

    In this story, Rahman* shares how years of favouritism, resentment, and unresolved family issues led him to cut off his only sister after their parents’ demise eight years ago.

    As told to Adeyinka

    Fifteen years have passed since I last saw my sister at our parents’ funeral. Since then, we’ve silently agreed to stay out of each other’s lives. It hurts sometimes—knowing she’s out there, living her life, while I live mine. But over the years, I’ve accepted that some relationships aren’t meant to be.

    You’d have to rewind to my childhood to understand how we got here. We were never close, not even as children. The age gap between us was wide—she was nearly a decade older, always ahead in a world I struggled to understand. By the time I was old enough to start primary school, she was already in secondary school. When I started dreaming about university, she was already wearing her graduation cap. Our age gap alone might have been enough to keep us distant, but our parents’ favouritism drove a wedge between us. They adored her, and their pride was evident in every word about her achievements. It felt like they’d placed her on a high pedestal I could only watch from the sidelines.

    It wasn’t that they didn’t love me—they did, in their way. But their love came with constant comparisons. “Why can’t you be more like her?” was a question I heard more times than I’d like to remember. She excelled effortlessly while I struggled to find my path. She was the star of our family, and while I wasn’t exactly a black sheep, I was close to one.

    By my late teens, resentment had taken root. She went to university, the first in our family, while I struggled to gain admission. Two failed exams were also reminders of the growing gap between us. While I sat at home grappling with feelings of inadequacy, she was thriving. She graduated before I even set foot on campus. By the time I finally gained admission, she was married with a child on the way.

    It wasn’t just my parents’ favouritism that drove us apart—it was how it shaped her attitude toward me. In the early years, she was kind. But over time, that kindness fizzled out. “You need to try harder,” she’d say whenever my parents outsourced their never-ending pep talk to her. When I finally started achieving things—earning my degree, getting a job—it never felt like enough. By then, she’d moved on to bigger milestones, leaving me in her shadow once again.

    For all their good intentions, our parents never tried to mend the growing rift. They seemed to think time would heal the wounds, that blood would be enough to pull us back together. Even as they aged and their health began to decline, they avoided addressing the fractures in our relationship. Once, I tried talking to my father about it. He said, “You’ll figure it out. Siblings always do.” But we didn’t. If anything, his silence made the divide worse.

    When our parents’ health worsened, I hoped it might bring us closer. Instead, it only showed how far apart we were. She took control of hospital visits and finances. I tried to help, but my offers were dismissed with a curt, “It’s fine. I’ve got it.” It felt like she didn’t trust me, as though I were still the fumbling younger brother who couldn’t get anything right.

    The day of the funeral was the last time we spoke. We exchanged pleasantries like strangers. There was no warmth, no shared grief—just two people carrying their versions of loss. When it came time to settle the estate, we handled everything through lawyers. Once the paperwork was done, so were we.

    At first, the silence was unsettling. I’d find myself wanting to call her, to share a memory about our parents or ask how she was doing. But each time, I hesitated. What would I even say? How do you bridge a gap that took decades to form? Over time, the silence became easier, even comforting. It felt like a relief not having to navigate the minefield of our relationship anymore.

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    Still, there are moments when it hurts. Watching siblings laugh together or support each other during tough times stirs something in me. I wonder what it would be like to have that bond—to call her and know she’d answer, to feel like we were on the same team for once. But those moments pass quickly. For the most part, I’ve made peace with the distance.

    Looking back, it feels like our relationship was doomed from the start. The age gap, the favouritism, and the constant comparisons created a storm we didn’t know how to weather. Our parents’ refusal to confront these issues only fueled the fire. By the time they were gone, there was nothing left to salvage.

    Do I miss her? Sometimes. Do I think about reaching out? Occasionally. But then I remember the years of resentment, the sharp words, and the heavy silences. I think about the life I’ve built without her—a life that feels whole, even if incomplete. And I wonder if reopening that door would bring healing or more pain.

    Not all relationships are meant to last forever. It’s a hard truth but one I’ve come to accept. Loving someone from a distance doesn’t mean you don’t care—it just means you’ve chosen peace over chaos. And for now, that’s enough for me.

    READ THIS NEXT: We Took It Slow Because of Our Five-Year Age Gap

  • Table of contents

    Happy birthday wishes for your older brother

    Happy birthday wishes for your twin brother

    Happy birthday wishes for your younger brother

    Birthday Prayers for Your Brother

    Want to make your brother feel extra special on his big day? Whether he’s your partner-in-crime or the annoying last born who gets all the attention from your parents, we’ve got you covered with a list of happy birthday wishes for a brother that’ll make them weak in the knees. 

    Let’s get into it.

    Happy birthday wishes for your older brother

    A Nigerian guy sharing happy birthday wishes with his brother.

    Whether he’s your protector, silent supporter or the guy who always finishes your leftovers, your big bro deserves his flowers. These birthday wishes for a brother will help you remind him how much he means to you, even if you still argue over the remote.

    • Happy birthday to the coolest older brother a guy could ask for. You’ve always been my role model and my biggest supporter. Love you, bro!”
    • Odogwu! As you add another year, may you finally stop reminding me of all the favours I owe you. I dey for you, sha. Happy birthday.
    • As you add another year today, I pray God continues to bless and guide you, making each step you take lead you to greatness. Have a blessed birthday, big bro.
    • Happy birthday, big bro. I know you’re getting older, but don’t worry—I’m still here to make you feel young and cool. For now, at least.
    • Happy birthday, big bro! Thanks for all the times you covered for me, taught me things, and gave me the best advice — when you weren’t teasing me. You’re my hero, and I’m lucky to have you in my corner.
    • Happy birthday to the brother who set all the rules and then taught me how to break them. May you keep getting wiser… and hopefully, a little softer on me.
    • To my older brother, the man who’s always got my back. Happy birthday! I’m so grateful for your love and guidance.”
    • Happy birthday to the OG of the family! May your new year be full of big wins, and may you keep blessing us with your wisdom and funny takes on life. Love you, bro.
    • Wishing you an incredible year ahead, big bro. Keep reaching for the stars — there’s no limit to what you can achieve. Happy birthday.
    • Happy birthday, boss man. From watching you hustle to seeing you win, you’re my role model. May you keep climbing to higher places, and may God crown your efforts with success.
    • Happy birthday, big bro. I don’t say it enough, but I’ve always looked up to you. Watching you carry so many responsibilities while still making space for the people you love is nothing short of heroic. I pray this year brings rest, reward and restoration.
    • You’ve always been the one to figure things out first — even when it cost you peace. This birthday, I hope you finally get to choose ease. You’ve earned every good thing coming your way.
    • Life hasn’t always been kind to you, but you’ve shown what it means to keep moving. You’ve taught me that strength isn’t loud — it’s in the way you continue to show up even when nobody’s clapping. Keep going. Your next chapter is about joy.
    • I know you don’t always ask for help, but I hope this new age sends you people who pour into you the same way you pour into others. You don’t have to do life alone. You deserve to be cared for, too.
    • If no one has told you lately, you’re doing great. It may not look like success on social media, but your quiet consistency has laid a solid foundation. Happy birthday, and may this year take you farther than you’ve ever imagined.
    • You’ve always been my protector, my example, and sometimes my second dad. Happy birthday, bro. You mean more than you know.
    • You walked so I could run. Thank you for the sacrifices you never speak about. I see you. Happy birthday.
    • Here’s to the brother who taught me how to fight back and stand tall. May life keep being kind to you.
    • You age like fine wine — only cooler and louder. Have an amazing year, big bro.
    • I’ve always looked up to you, even when you were being annoying. Happy birthday, OG.
    • You’ve been my safe space for as long as I can remember. Here’s to more life, more peace, more money.
    • Thanks for all the unsolicited advice and surprisingly accurate predictions. Happy birthday, wise one.
    • I hope this year brings you every good thing you’ve prayed for others. Happy birthday, big man.
    • From stealing my meat to giving me solid life tips — I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Happy birthday, bro.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Birthday Wishes for Your Boyfriend To Make Him Feel Adored

    Happy birthday wishes for your twin brother

    A group of Nigerians guys with birthday wishes for a brother

    There’s no bond like that of a twin — same birthday, same childhood chaos, same unspoken connection. If you’re looking for birthday wishes for a twin brother that capture the magic and madness of being born with your best friend, start here.

    • Happy birthday to my twin! We’ve been through everything together, from childhood adventures to adult challenges. I’m lucky to have you as my best friend and brother.
    • Cheers to another year of making moves together. May we both achieve our dreams and keep lifting each other. Na you I sabi pass for this life.
    • Happy birthday, my twin. You’ll always be my favourite accidental roommate. Here’s to more shared laughs and questionable choices.
    • Happy Birthday, my twin and day-one best friend. We may have our differences, but there’s no one I’d rather share this special bond with. Let’s keep making memories together.
    • To my twin, the other half of my soul. Happy birthday! Here’s to another year of shared memories and inside jokes.
    • Happy birthday, my twinny. God really duplicated his finest creation twice in one day. May we keep sharing great vibes, bants, and the good things of this world.
    • To my twin, my forever partner-in-crime, and the other half of all my crazy plans—Happy birthday. Here’s to another year of having each other’s backs. Cheers, twin.
    • Happy birthday to the one who knows me best (literally!). We’ve been through everything together, and I wouldn’t trade you for anyone. Let’s make this year unforgettable.
    • Happy birthday to my twin, my bestie, my competition, and my best backup plan. Just remember, I’m the cooler one. Enjoy your day.
    • Happy birthday to my twin and partner in everything! I pray for good health, success, and that every path you take leads you to amazing things. God bless you always.
    • Happy birthday to the person who shared the womb, the room and half of my childhood drama. Life wouldn’t be the same without you.
    • We’ve been through everything together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Cheers to us.
    • I don’t need to make wishes. You already feel like one come true. Happy birthday, twin.
    • Being your twin means constant comparison, but I wouldn’t trade our connection for anything.
    • Happy birthday to the only person who truly gets me — sometimes without words.
    • You annoy me more than anyone, but also show up more than anyone. Twin life is wild. I’m grateful.
    • It’s your birthday, which also means I’m celebrating myself. Happy birthday to the better half — me. JK. Kind of.
    • Happy birthday, twin. You and I may share a birthday, but your journey is your own — and you’ve handled it with so much strength. I see your effort. I see your growth. I see the parts of you you’re still figuring out. And I’m proud of all of it.
    • Sharing life with you has been one of the greatest gifts. But even though we’re twins, I hope you never feel pressured to be the same. You are your own person with your own story, and you’re writing it beautifully.
    • You’ve had your fair share of battles, but you’ve never let any of them break you. This new year, I hope you heal, laugh harder, love deeper, and finally believe that you’re enough — just as you are.
    • Growing up with you taught me how strong quiet resilience can be. You’ve carried pain with silence and celebrated others with loud joy. May this new year return all that kindness to you tenfold.
    • We may share DNA, but you’ve taught me how different strength can look in two people. You’ve carried your story like a survivor, and I pray this next chapter is full of soft wins and loud joy.
    • May this new year bring us both ease, laughter and shared wins. Happy birthday, wombmate.
    • No matter where life takes us, we’ll always have the same origin story. Love you always.
    • Same DNA, different destinies — but always connected. Happy birthday, twin flame.

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    ALSO READ: 150+ Birthday Messages and Wishes for a Friend

    Happy birthday wishes for your younger brother

    An older Nigerian guy with birthday wishes for a brother.

    Younger brothers have a special talent for being both adorable and annoying. But deep down, you know you wouldn’t trade him for anything. These birthday wishes for a brother will help you show love while still maintaining that sibling energy.

    • Happy birthday, kiddo. I’m proud of the person you’re becoming and can’t wait to see what you do next. You’ll always have a big fan in me.
    • Today, I celebrate not just your birth, but the amazing person you’re becoming. Keep aiming for greatness, bro. The world is yours to conquer.
    • To my not-so-little brother anymore—Happy birthday! You’re growing up way too fast, but I’ll always be here to watch out for you and cheer you on. Here’s to your best year yet.
    • Happy birthday, baby bro! I’d offer to let you win at something today, but I know you wouldn’t believe me. Hope your day’s amazing!
    • On this special day, I pray that God’s favour surrounds you, guiding you towards your destiny and filling your life with peace. Happy birthday.
    • Happy birthday to my little bro who’s growing up so fast! Remember, the sky is only the beginning—keep reaching higher. Proud of you always.
    • Happy birthday to the best little brother in the world. Hope your year is filled with everything you love. Keep being you, never stop.
    • To my super amazing younger brother, the one who always keeps me on my toes. Happy birthday. I can’t wait to see what you do next in this phase. I wish you the best life’s got to offer. 
    • Happy birthday, young blood. May you grow into a man of purpose, one who makes our family proud. The sky is only the beginning. Shine on.
    • My little bros, happy birthday o! May God lift you higher than your wildest dreams, and may you receive all the blessings that turn boys into men.
    • Happy birthday to the one person who can make me laugh and roll my eyes in the same minute. Keep being your chaotic self — the world isn’t ready.
    • You’re growing into the kind of man I’m proud to know — even if you still forget to rinse your plate. Big love to you, lil bro.
    • Another year older, but still not taller than me. Happy birthday, baby bro.
    • May this new year bring you clarity, confidence and way more money. You deserve everything good.
    • Watching you grow has been my favourite thing. But if you ever beat me at FIFA again, we’re done.
    • You’re the reason the house hasn’t been boring for years. Happy birthday, our in-house comedian.
    • Being your sibling is 30% fighting, 70% bragging rights. You’re really doing this life thing well. Proud of you.
    • Hope this year blesses you with soft life, smart decisions and zero heartbreak. Happy birthday, champ.
    • I may not always say it, but I love you deeply — even when you eat my leftovers. Happy birthday.
    • You’ve come such a long way from the crying toddler who followed me around. Now you’re a man. Happy birthday, kiddo.
    • Happy birthday, little bro. It’s wild watching you grow into a man with vision, purpose and drive. I know life sometimes tries to dim your light, but don’t let it. You were made for more, and I hope this year reminds you of that every single day.
    • I see how hard you’re trying — even when no one says it out loud. I want you to know I’m proud of you. Not for being perfect, but for showing up and trying, again and again. May this new year be your softest and strongest one yet.
    • Being the younger sibling isn’t easy. Everyone has expectations of you before you’ve even figured yourself out. But you’ve handled it all with more grace than most adults I know. Keep going. You’re becoming the man you’re meant to be.
    • You’re at a stage where the world expects you to have it all figured out, but don’t let that pressure steal your peace. Take your time. Explore. Fail. Grow. There’s no deadline for becoming your best self. Happy birthday, champ.
    • May this year bring you the kind of wins that silence doubt — not just from others, but from yourself. I hope you see how capable, brilliant and deserving you are. You don’t have to be loud to take up space.

    ALSO READ: 100 Sweet Birthday Wishes For Your Sister

    Birthday prayers for your brother

    Brothers saying birthday prayers

    Sometimes, the best gift you can give your brother is a heartfelt prayer. Whether he’s older, younger, or your twin, these birthday prayers for your brother are perfect for speaking blessings, good fortune and peace into his new year.

    • On your birthday, I make du’a that Allah (SWT) continues to bless your journey with barakah and light. May He increase you in taqwa, protect your path from harm and guide you with clarity and ease.
    • May Allah grant you rizq that is pure, halal and overflowing. I pray that He grants you the patience to weather storms and the strength to rise above every difficulty. This new age, may your heart be content and your steps divinely guided.
    • Ya Allah, cover my brother in your mercy this year. Where there’s confusion, send answers. Where there’s pain, send healing. Where there’s fear, send peace. May his birthday mark the beginning of a better, softer chapter.
    • May this birthday bring you closer to Allah, and further from what doesn’t serve your soul. I pray for sabr, tawakkul, and protection against the seen and unseen. May the angels never leave your side.
    • I pray Allah keeps you rooted in deen, surrounded by goodness and guided by light. May every dua in your heart be answered, and may this new age be the one where you find ease in every area of your life.
    • May God grant you peace that surpasses understanding and strength that never runs out. Happy birthday.
    • I pray this year opens new doors and closes every chapter that no longer serves you.
    • May you grow in wisdom, walk in purpose and glow with grace. Happy birthday, brother.
    • May every silent prayer in your heart receive loud answers this year.
    • I pray that your journey will be covered in favour, and you’ll find joy in places you never expected.
    • May your birthday mark the beginning of your softest, happiest chapter yet.
    • May you never lack the love you freely give others. Happy birthday, big heart.
    • May blessings follow you, peace fill you, and strength carry you every single day.
    • As you grow older, may your fears shrink, and your dreams grow even bigger.
    • May this new age come with peace of mind, divine protection and enough money to spoil yourself well.
    • May the God who sees the deepest parts of your heart pour out His peace upon you this year. I pray for divine favour in every corner of your life — work, health, relationships and dreams. Where there’s been delay, may acceleration come. And where there’s been silence, may you hear clearly from Him.
    • On your birthday, I commit you into God’s hands. May He order your steps, shield you from harm, and bless your obedience. I pray that every closed door in your life opens in God’s perfect time — and when it does, it’ll be more than you imagined.
    • I pray this new age is the beginning of restoration and clarity. That the God who knows your struggles silently fights your battles and brings you to a place of rest. You will not lack peace, direction or provision. Happy birthday, and may God’s presence never leave you.
    • May your life reflect God’s glory this year. May your name open the right doors, and your heart remain aligned with heaven. You are not alone — and this year, may God prove it to you in ways that leave you in awe.
    • May the God of grace rewrite every part of your story that’s been heavy. May He fill your mouth with laughter and your hands with testimony. This birthday, I speak favour, long life, and spiritual strength into your path.

    ALSO READ: 100+ Birthday Prayers and Blessings for Yourself and Those You Love

  • According to the Zikoko Bureau of Statistics, a week hardly passes on Nigerian Twitter without firstborns being the subject of one joke, drag, hot take or the other.

    Everyone always has something to say about firstborns, and as advocates for the common man, we had to give firstborns the floor to share their thoughts.

    The ones who are just tired

    “I’m the olóríẹbí (family head), and as a Yoruba man from Ijebu, it means I always have to take the lead, especially in finances. I’m at the age when there are a lot of family weddings, burials and namings. But I’m not rich. No one cares if I take loans. Try to send olóríẹbí money too.” — Pa Gbade, 64

    “They say I act like their junior mummy, but I can’t help it. They can make it easier for me by not waiting until everything has scattered before reaching out to me. I don’t have money for everything you need, but it’s not until EFCC arrests you for internet fraud that you’ll tell me you need money. Help me help you.” — Janet, 31

    “Firstborns need check-ups too. Let us know you’re looking out for us. Not every time billing or thinking we’re fine. Also, sometimes. I need space. It doesn’t mean I hate you.” — Harvey, 25

    The ones who want you to know you’re on your own

    “I don’t have the solutions to all your problems. Emi gan mo need help.” — Tolu, 25

    “I’m not your role model, please. I don’t have it all figured out.” — Uduak, 26

    “Don’t do drugs. There is madness in our family, and I will leave you on the road if you craze.” — Stephanie, 26

    “The same piece of advice I gave them when they were about to get their first jobs is what I want them to always know: Be responsible for every and anything you do.” — Abisola, 33

    The ones who are tired of billing

    “Don’t text me to “check on me”. Just ask for the money you want straight up.” — Ore, 26

    “There’s no special allowance for firstborns o. It’s like you think money appears in my account as per birthright. Let me be a baby boy, please” — Joshah, 23

    “The day I go broke, I’ll come back to you for urgent ₦2k. There’s no law against begging your younger ones.” — Grace, 28

    RELATED: 7 Nigerians Talk About How Much It Costs to Be a First-born Child

    The ones who really want their siblings to stay winning

    “My sister is much younger, so I’d tell her to believe in herself. Think about how far you can go, then reach higher. Dare to dream.” — Stephan, 45

    “I may be hard on you, but it’s because I know you’re capable of so much. You can do whatever you set your mind to. You can blow, and you will. And maybe then, you’ll stop billing me.” — Harmony, 27

    The ones who want you to remember they’re human

    “I’ve made mistakes, and I’m not perfect. I’m not always the best sibling, but all I do is out of a place of love. Be kind.” — Anne, 24

    “Sometimes, I don’t want to pick calls or respond to your requests. No, I’m not being wicked. I just have a lot going on. You’re lucky to have someone older to rely on. I don’t. But adulthood and capitalism don’t discriminate. There’s only so much I can do.” — Joel, 35

    “If I give you advice, and you take it, but it doesn’t produce the desired results, remember I’m not God. I advise because I care for you, but I’m not always right. And I don’t carry respect on my head. I deserve it because my eyes constantly see shege. It feels nice to be recognised for all the sacrifices I make.” — Tosin, 28

    NEXT READ: My Parents Thought I’d Become Wayward Overnight, but I Was Just a First Daughter Looking for Freedom

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  • Siblings have their designated roles and behaviours in every family. From the black sheep to the golden child, we’ve seen it all. So what if the days of the week were all siblings in a large family? This is definitely how it’ll go down. 

    Monday 

    The first-born child who’s loved by both parents but absolutely hated by the younger siblings. They probably got two degrees, married early and are rich now. The other siblings don’t see all the sacrifice Monday makes and the ridiculous pressure they’re under. They just see them as a know-it-all.

    Tuesday 

    The immediate younger siblings of Monday who can never match up no matter how hard they try. Tuesday busts its ass off but can never really be considered “That girl”. They’re sick and tired of always being second place. Monday wishes they could repair their relationship with Tuesday, but it’ll never happen. Tuesday needs therapy. 

    Wednesday 

    Wednesday was born when parents realised they’d fucked up with Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday then proceeds to be even more messed up than the other two, a constant reminder that parents might never get it right. 

    RELATED: Oh Shit, It’s a Wednesday Again

    Thursday 

    The neglected child. Nobody really remembers them or what they have to offer. They don’t have distinguishing qualities. They’re just trying to get through life. Thursday is tired but content. 

    Friday

    The “I can do it all” sibling. Tries to have a great work-life balance, neglecting the other siblings. They don’t make much time for family activities and have chosen to make their friends the found family. 

    RELATED: We Ranked Nigerians Depending on How They Feel About Fridays

    Saturday 

    Original black sheep of the family. Anything that concerns their other siblings? Out. They’re closer to Friday and Sunday, though, because Friday understands how annoying family is, and Sunday thinks they’re cool. Saturday just enjoys expressing themself. 

    Sunday 

    The unplanned child and last-born teenager with severe mental health issues. All Sunday has is sadness, grief and angst. Since most of the siblings are grown up and juggling jobs and life, Sunday is left to its devices, and just wants to be more like Saturday.

    RELATED: 5 Types of People on Sunday Night