After watching Suicide Squad, we found ourselves comparing a lot of the characters and scenarios to secondary school. So we decided to share 13 ways the movie brought back those secondary school memories:
1. The class teacher
Whether she likes you or not, she will still punish and stress you for no reason.
2. The class captain
Always writing names of noisemakers and doing as if he is better than everybody.
3. The most popular boy in class
He has all the jokes and everyone wants to be his friend.
4. The problem child
Always in trouble and tormenting students and staff alike with his mischief. The only person that can talk to him is his girlfriend.
5. The fighter
One day one trouble. She is ready to beat any and everybody over anything.
6. The big scary guy
No one knows if it is that he is just huge or he has repeated like 3 times. Only says about 3 words a day.
7. The hottest babe in class
Very crazy but she gets a pass because she is fine and her boyfriend is even more crazy than her.
8. The immature one
Everything is a joke. Always shining teeth around the school campus.
9. The anti-social one
Doesn’t really want to be anyone’s friend or talk to anyone. The class isn’t even that sure of his name.
10. The motivational speaker
He is always using every opportunity to preach whether or not anyone asked him.
11. The goth chick
She is always studying about witchcraft and funny things like that. Has no friends.
12. The class picture
Everybody in their element!
13. When a rival secondary school class tries to come for them, they’re like:
Best friends … for now!
1. When all your mates start developing and you’re still there looking like someone in primary 3:
How can I be looking like my classmate’s junior sibling?
2. How you beg God for puberty to slap you every day:
“FATHER FATHER EHHHHH!”
3. When you wear pencil dresses and look like an ironing board:
Na wa oh!
4. When your juniors have started developing but your own puberty is still loading:
What kind of shame is this?
5. When your mates are complaining about period pains and you join them like you know:
Lie Lie!
6. When your mates have moved to underwire bra but you are still wearing singlet:
One day sha, one day!
7. You researching “foods” that make you develop:
“Beans + pomo = developed body. Abi that’s what they said?”
8. When you hear of “one miracle cream” that will make your hips and breasts grow:
Woooooow!
9. When you consider gaining weight so the fat will at least make you look like something is happening:
How much fat will make sure I wear a bra?
10. When your mother wonders where all the tissue is going and you know the answer to that is your “bra”:
Oops!
11. When you have to change in front of people and your tissue-enhanced assets will be exposed:
I am done for oh!
12. When your own puberty finally starts and it is speeding away:
YASSSSSS
13. When your crush that used to ignore you now suddenly has your time:
My friend you better leave here!
14. When the puberty you were looking for will now not stop:
HAY GOD!
1. You, chopping mouth during the school anthem until it’s time to shout…
That’s the only part you know.
2. When a Uniport babe sees a group of Nelson Mandela boys.
Just dodge them.
3. You and your guys, queuing up in front of Mama Abuja like:
THE BEST!
4. How TBD looks once exam time table comes out:
They will now come with pillow to “read”.
5. UPTH and “no bed space”:
All. The. Time.
6. How the Man O’ War in school saw themselves:
Always doing the most.
7. When you see couples loving up at Love Garden in Delta Park.
Don’t go and read your book.
8. How you queue to enter shuttle at Abuja park:
The worst.
9. When 4 different classes are holding at the Arena at the same time.
LCS struggles.
10. How people pray when it’s time to write basic or certificate exams:
It’s now that you remember God, abi?
11. Whenever you finish climbing the stairs at Ofrima.
Kuku kill me.
12. How 70% of the students go to town as soon as weekend reaches:
BYE!
13. When you see that old pastor between Delta Park and Choba preaching about hell fire.
Stop judging me.
14. How you hail pharmacy students that have managed to reach final year:
Na you oh!
15. When you see your guy that is owing you money eating at Emmatex or Sunnas.
This one must be mad.
1. How people react when they hear your name the first time:
Their brain is already frying.
2. Your face, whenever someone tries to pronounce your name:
Chai!
3. When someone asks if you have “an easier name”.
You will learn today.
4. You, calculating how much time you spend sounding out your name for people:
Wasting my life.
5. When you still have to spell it for them right after pronouncing it.
STRESS!
6. When people still get your name wrong after you’ve corrected them a million times.
Are you mad ni?
7. When people give you a nickname you hate against your will.
Did I send you?
8. When a teacher hesitates during roll call and you know they are about to destroy your name.
Hay God!
9. You, whenever someone says “sorry if I butcher your name”:
Save your sorry.
10. When they correct you when you say “Susan” wrong, but can’t get “Kunle” right.
See your life.
11. When you can’t even remember the true pronunciation of your own name again.
Everybody has already scattered it for you.
12. Your face, whenever someone asks what your name means:
You can like to mind your business.
13. When you stop telling people your name first and just start spelling it.
No energy, abeg.
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So when I was in primary 2 I was in love.
Best boy!
I fell in love with one small rascal in my class, Ladi.
My boo!
Ladi was the class sweetheart. All the girls in our class were chasing him like:
Greedy girls oh! All of them!
But I was the smartest, cutest, most beautiful, amazing little girl in primary 2.
Most fabulous!
So I told him he was my boyfriend by force and he agreed.
“We must be together!”
We used to share our snacks during break time.
Every single day!
When it was time to play games we would partner with each other.
Of course, before another girl will start playing with him oh!
And we used to sit beside each other during art class.
Picasso and Van Gogh!
We were very happy.
Very very happy!
But then I was sick and had to stay at home for a few days.
A serious case of cough and cold.
When I came back from my sick bed I was in for a shock!
Hmm! You people come and see something!
Ladi my true love, was sharing his ribena and biscuit with my best friend Ireti!
Betrayers!
I couldn’t focus when we were doing multiplication.
Who can multiply when their heart is broken?
When we were doing comprehension and composition I was still in shock.
How could they do that to me?
For 3 days I could not watch cartoons or play outside.
I was just thinking about my life!
But then two Saturdays after, at a birthday party, I won the dancing competition and Ireti was crying because she lost so I was happy!
