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  • 1. When your parents wake you up for cross-over service.

    Can I sleep?

    2. Your mates turning up in the club vs. You turning up in church.

    3. You, trying to stay awake for the entire thing.

    The realest struggle.

    4. When sleep starts taking over and the usher tries to wake you up.

    Just don’t.

    5. When the pastor says this is the year you’ll find a spouse, but he said that last year too.

    Na so.

    6. When the pastor tells you to write what you want God to do for you in the coming year.

    Can’t even dull it.

    7. When you see that church member that only comes for cross-over night.

    See your life.

    8. You, ignoring all the ‘Happy New Year’ texts and calls.

    Don’t these ones have church.

    9. When you finally enter into the new year and the turn up intensifies.

    All the sleep will clear at this point.

    10. You, returning home after the service.

    HELP!

  • At the end of the year, it is perfectly normal to take inventory and plan for a better year ahead.

    While some of these resolutions come to life, others just end up as classic fails.

    Here are 10 resolution fails that Nigerians make at the end of every year.

    1. Celibacy

    We’re not saying it’s impossible sha.

    2. Joining fit-fam.

    Eba and akpu will not let someone be great.

    3. Travelling the world.

    LOL! Can you hear your bank account laughing?

    4. Saving more money than before.

    All the bills of the next year are waiting in the corner like.

    5. Giving up on Yoruba Demons.

    Is that even possible?

    6. Paying tithe more regularly.

    Jesus is watching you sha.

    7. Going completely off Twitter and Instagram.

    Where are you going to do all that amebo?

    8. Changing your amebo ways and minding your business.

    That’s what you said last year.

    9. Staying calm and not insulting your fellow Nigerians.

    Keep calm in Nigeria? LOL!

    10. Quitting alcohol and your womanizing ways.

    What other resolutions do you have planned for the new year?

  • 1. Lame pick up lines

    https://twitter.com/s_yewande/status/674295911758045184

    2. The uncool pose

    3. People who think think they’re funny because they can switch accents and and do imitations

    https://twitter.com/ConorOnline/status/675019923018641409

    4. Reading extra meaning into ordinary things

    https://twitter.com/Buz_White/status/672843247895642112

    5. Your debtors

    6. The same old fake resolutions that never last

    7. Eyebrows that aren’t on fleek

    8. Phones with cracked screens

    https://twitter.com/KetuBoi/status/666569031885987840

    9. Nollywood movies with terrible plots

    10. Asking for follow backs

    https://twitter.com/KenzoLM_/status/666264948062949377

    11. What other things do you think should be left in 2015?