Eroticism is one theme that Afrobeats effortlessly eats anytime it comes to it. Whether directly, subtly or figuratively, it’s clear through these particular songs that artists can communicate their romantic and hedonist desires well.
Bump this:
Ready — Sarz, Fxrtune & Pjstar
Straight-up uncouth, Ready fills your head with Kama Sutra. This song is for the real eaters — the ones who won’t leave the sheets before a complimentary buffet.
YAHWEH — Lojay
Hold your church mind; don’t get it twisted that this has anything to do with God. This song supports the sweet gibberish you mutter in the course of the sloppiest “slurp-slurp”.
Water from Wine — Amaarae
Amaarae sings for those who’ll text back “omw” when their sneaky link calls. They just want to have a good time that’ll keep their satisfier on speed dial.
Water — Tyla
When realisation hits that this song isn’t about hard labour nor a conversation with a workout instructor, your mind quickly unwraps the subtle request for an intense genital meet-and-greet. As a queen who values her time, Tyla asks, “Can you blow my mind?” If she has to hustle for her own nut, you’re better off seated in your house.
Attends — Brazy
This fast-tempo House song takes you straight to the dance floor. When Brazy says, “Whine your waist, oda bi rubber,” you have to obey and put your flexible low waist to serious grinding. But with, “Cheat on me, I cheat on you” Brazy preaches that you pay your liaison back in their coin.
Amma HOE — Bizzonthetrack
On this self-confessed jam about being a hoe, Bizzonthetrack makes it clear he’s unavailable for commitment. He’s only committed to whoring activities.
Boytoy — SGaWD
The sexual awareness SGaWD flaunts on Boytoy is admirable AF. This song is for the sexually liberated folks who own it with their chest.
Shibebe — Olamide feat. Fireboy DML
Indoor is where the fun is at. You have all the time, space and privacy to “shibebe” (flaunt your waistbeads), Netflix and chill, do waterworks and all other sorts of debauchery. At least, that’s what Olamide Baddo and Fireboy DML said on this track.
It pays to have global recognition because Afrobeats has stepped up in the “compelling visuals” department this year. These were the best of the best music videos of the year.
Yoga — Asake
In January 2023, Asake released Yoga with a music video ahead of his second album drop. The TG Omori-directed visual captured Asake and his cast members by the seaside and in the tropical city of Dakar, Senegal. As Asake roamed the streets, looking like he was in the middle of an epiphany, he still found the time to fish, perform ceremonial rites and practise yoga.
FEEL — Davido
Davido bragged that the music video cost him ₦100 million to shoot. When it came out in October, we all saw why. What we got was more “movie” than “music video”. Top choice director of the stars, TG Omori, was to blame for this war flick, featuring displaced citizens, flying aircraft and explosions. Meanwhile, Davido played strategist in a library with a globe and sketching paper. Plot twist: he’s plotting to rescue his love interest from the war zone. While it would’ve fit better with a politically charged song, the shot was a cinematic gem.
Korokoro — Prettyboy D-O
The first minute of this video released in May, dramatised two friends in a herbalist’s house impatient to get rich by any means necessary. Pan to Prettyboy D-O hanging with individuals brandishing shiny machetes like playthings. D-O worked alongside BadFlicks to direct this very Nigerian video that showcases a high energy characteristic of us and the rampant gangsterism that’s overtaken our society.
Obapluto — Shallipopi feat. Pa Monday-Edo
October came with a Shallipopi’s Obapluto video. In this homage to the great Benin kingdom and his Edo roots, the artist landed in a spaceship to celebrate the ascension of his Plutomania era. The cast were adorned with mud-red beads from head to chest, neck and shoulder, and strapped in white robes. It’s beautiful to see Pa Monday-Edo Igbinidu who initially sued Shallipopi for illegally sampling his song, Iyovbere. Lagos-based KEMZ (SkiiBii’s Baddest Boy, King Perry’s YKTV) directed the video.
Money & Love — Wizkid
Seated on an open rooftop with a paint palette and brush in hand, Wizkid channelled his inner Picasso in this March-released video. Next, we saw an outdoor garage of classic Ferraris and a house party. Director K made it simple but portrayed the elegance expected of a man surrounded by money and love.
All Eyes On Me — Niniola
This Pink-directed music video came out in June, and it’s a “rich aunty” masterclass. It starts with a stress-free preparation at the make-up desk and a night-out look that turns heads with envy and side gossip. In another scene, Niniola lays out her gold jewellery and shoes, native lace dress and satellite gele. It’s no shock when she owns the Owambe gathering on arrival, bringing all attention to herself as the song demands.
Charm — Rema
Self-directed alongside Perliks and Folarin Oludare, Rema went from expressing himself through dance to being mesmerised by a woman’s seductive moves in the first 30 seconds. He was so mesmerised that he flew out of an explosion like an action star just to get a closer view of her fire dance. This video premiered in May and subtly introduced us to Rema’s current era, with the colour red and “raver” aesthetic. Five months later, he launched his RAVAGE project.
Dejavu — Seyi Vibez
Before the baddies make an appearance and cash starts to flow, Seyi Vibez and the video cast glow in white robes that look like martial arts attire, for a funeral procession-like scene. Seyi is shedding his old skin and transitioning into a new being. TG Omori and Seyi Vibez delivered yet another exhilarating video at the tail-end of September.
Still Sober — Aguero Banks feat. Phyno
In November, Oluthewave dropped this Hip-Hop music video focused on cliche street activities like rolling dice, outdoor workouts and run-ins with the police. As day morphs into night, the street hustle and exchanges carry on. Its cinematography applies a creative style of side shots that make the video a unique watch.
AGBALAGBI — OluwaMillar
On December 14, 2023, OluwaMillar released his very first music video. In it, he recreates Baba Suwe’s classic “Agbalagbi” scene before hanging with cameos on yellow buses in a Dashiki and cap, borrowing from Yorùbá Nollywood to offer a relatability that hits home. This music video complements the theme of the song well, judiciously managing an apparently limited budget. Emsi Lucky is a video director to watch out for.
Artists come and go, but the exceptional ones stick around to build name and relevance. As we wave 2023 goodbye, we’ve marked out ten new cats we believe will seize 2024.
These artists made our list because of their talent, uniqueness, consistency and quality of the music they put out this year.
Pop
Kold AF
The light has been on Kold AF, born Aninooritsewarami Alero Oritsesesan, since she and French music producer, BGRZ, put out the six-track EP, KOLLIDED, in October 2023. Almost every stage that gave space to upcoming stars this year — The Future Award Africa 2023, Jameson Distillery On Tour and Indie Vibe House Party — has seen her in action. She was one of the highlights of Aristokrat Records’ Open House Volume One album, which showcased some artists on the come-up in December 2022. In the same month, Kold AF released a two-song pack called Kold Szn. Influenced by Burna Boy and Cynthia Morgan, her voice and vivid storytelling distinguish her from the crowd.
Image source: Kold AF
Morravey
Morravey is more than just Davido’s latest signee. She’s one of the brightest talents out of one of Nigeria’s biggest breeding grounds for talent, Port Harcourt (PH). With a catchy delivery and vocal range, her impressive performance on Davido’s IN THE GARDEN introduced her to a wider audience. In November 2023, Morravey released an introductory album called RAVI, and with her label’s backing, she may be everywhere in 2024. Based on the project and with her PH background, the singer-songwriter is set to tell Afropop stories in new and interesting ways.
Instagram: Davidonews
Qing Madi
Qing Madi’s See Finish (2022) enjoyed some viral moments this year and earned her a position as Spotify Africa Equal Ambassador in June 2023. Madi has since released other singles like Why, Ole with BNXN and Journey, and finally, her self-titled debut EP. At just 17 years old, Qing Madi’s music has peaked on popular charts like Apple Music chart, Turntable Official Nigeria Top 100 and Official Charts Afrobeats. With this trajectory, she’ll only get bigger in 2024.
Instagram: @aijaupdates
Rap
OluwaMillar
Favour Joshua Oparemi, AKA OluwaMillar, penetrated the underground rap scene in 2022 with a series of songs and features. He was on For Her (Voice2Rep’s compilation album), Menu with Droxx, Kokoka with VRSD, Fake Heads with Blvck Oreo and a remix of Menu with Emaxee, O’Shea and PayBac iBoro. In 2023, he came out with a two-song pack titled Agba Beef, which featured the songs AGBALAGBI and Beef Dey. The beautifully unique delivery of Yorùbá language in his music sets him apart from the many rappers springing up these days.
X.com: @llarim9
Jeriq the Hustler
On December 10, 2023, Jeriq the Hustler filled the 15,000 capacity Okpara Square in Enugu for a concert. The Igbo-speaking rapper’s catalogue goes back to 2018 with releases every year till date. With upcoming features and co-signs from top industry people, Jeriq is about to be in our faces in 2024.
X.com: @the49thstreet
Droxx
Only a few artists can boast a solid streak of up to 20 guest features in a year. Droxx, AKA African Chief, has long proved himself as one of the pioneers of Drill music in Nigeria and a top contender for most revered new rapper in the country. He opened for Davido’s “Timeless Concert” alongside Rebelwav in Abuja on December 15, 2023. With every performance, Droxx showcases true passion, consistency and his charisma places him as one of the coolest young emcees who’ll make 2024 a year to remember in Nigerian Hip-Hop.
Image source: Droxx
R&B
Brum3h
Brumeh Oghenekaro is a singer-songwriter, record and vocal producer and sound engineer who calls himself “Emo Boy”. The name accurately describes the deep feelings Brum3h expresses on his songs. As the R&B scene returns to its purest form in Nigeria, you’ll find acts like Brum3h in the frontline, uncompromising and passionate with his rhythm and blues. In September, he released Typewrit3R Volume One — a set of love letters to a difficult lover.
Image source: Spotify
Rukmani
Rukmani is managed by Cokoon Records (sister company to Aristokrat Records). Straight out of Port Harcourt, Rukmani masterfully renders intimacy, vulnerability and youth onto her soul-searching audio material. And her debut album, Angel On the Run (2023), encompasses these elements perfectly.
Image source: Spotify
RnB Princess
Staking her claim as a singer and storyteller capable of deep emotion and soulful melodies, RnB Princess’ voice carries a warm appeal. Her dear diary EP, produced by Beezyx, proves this point.
Image source: Spotify
Alternative
DoTTi the Deity
Forever Sweet (2022), a neo-folklore jam that’s been reigning at wedding parties all year, has solidified DoTTi the Deity as an amazing songwriter, singer and performer. More than that, his lyrics showcase him as a Yorùbá language custodian for the new generation. In 2023, DoTTi released another EP titled For You Knew Me, giving us a peep into the greatness the singer will unleash in the coming year.
Image source: Spotify
Bizzonthetrack
With Bizzonthetrack, you’ll get a mix of pop, R&B and lo-fi influences. You’ll also get simple lyrics that cover hustle culture, good life and sensuality. If you want to relax and have a good time or marinate in your feelings, Bizz is the guy. Start with his latest, Sir Jaiye Kuti, or attend his concert in Ibadan on December 23 to experience him live.
X.com: @bizzonthetrack
Ravington
Sitting at the intersection of rap, singing and music production, Ravington has conveniently designed his own brand of alternative music. Borrowing from Cruel Santino, Odunsi the Engine and Black Magic, Ravington adds in his abstract style of production to go with his deep vocals. After his Retrograde Blues EP dropped in 2022, he put out five songs and produced for fellow up-and-comers in 2023. We look forward to his 2024 offerings.
Image source: Ravington
Production
Afroselekta-BBK
An Abuja-based music producer and artist, Afroselekta-BBK has collaborated with EESKAY, Zilla Oaks, Reeplay, Laxy-BBK and more of the city’s finests. His expertise is an alternative blend of Afropop, Amapiano, EDM and Hip-Hop sounds like drill, grime and trap. His music projects like AED & AMAPIANO (2023), DRILLER & VANILLA (2022), Dangerous (2021) and AED (2019) helped establish him as an expert on these sounds. We can’t wait for what he’ll bring in 2024. He’s also carved a dynamic spot for himself as an animator, writing scripts and animating videos for his music releases.
Image source: The Guardian Nigeria
Kemena
Some may recognise Kemena as a recording artist, songwriter and sound engineer, but he’s also a music producer with credit on all the tracks off his projects, Bond (2020) and Guitars and Malaria (2023). He creates and arranges his music from scratch and has produced for Joeboy (The Best For You), Badboywilz (Agbalagba) and Music Business Africa 2022 finalist, Jola Bello (Rain). His style swings between Afropop, R&B and alternative rock music.
Facebook: @Kemenamusic
NYRP
NYRP is an Afrobeats music producer making his name underground after he left the Sarz Academy in 2022. His soft popping beats have earned him production credit on songs like Jimni Abdul’s Royal Rumble, Söulaar’s Balance, Muis’ Saati Ramoni and The Lemon Vinyl’s Majo and Tomorrow.
Instagram: @nyrp_szn
DJing
WEAREALLCHEMICALS
When she’s not modelling or working on Dencity, her skateboard collective focuses on empowering women, Blessing Ewona AKA WEAREALLCHEMICALS, DJs. She has Gen-Zs spellbound with her Afrobeats, electronic dance (EDM) and House music mixes. You can catch her performances at every cool youth party in Lagos, such as Activ.Yard, Science Club and MELT. She’s on to something incredible with her unique mix style, and the mainstream will soon get fixed on her chemical doses. It’s only a matter of time.
Instagram: @blessing_ewona
DJ Kiss
Anyone who’s paid attention to DJ Kiss since her Unilorin days circa 2018 knows she’s cut from a different fabric. She never misses with her selection of romantic early 2000 pop hits, both local and foreign. She also works with afropop and rap jams of the 2010s, and a slew of current Afropop, Amapiano, House and Hip-hop hits. Kiss has worked stages like the Jameson City Takeover, Afrobeats in the City and even her very own U.K. Summer Tour from August to October 2023. But no matter the size of the venue she plays, her set always brings the crowd alive.
Instagram: @celebritydjkiss
DJ 212
DJ 212 is popular in the NYSC orientation camp and corporate events in Lagos for hot playlists of Afrobeats and Amapiano mashups. He’s the guy for anyone who needs twedding turn-ups and themed parties. After his Press Play Party 2.0 featured Asake and YhemoLee in February 2023, he’s set to have a blast with parties next year.
Instagram: @dj2.1.2
Signal is a new producer on the Afrobeats block, who got his big break working on Khaid’s Carry Me Go in March 2023. Since then, he’s worked with Joeboy, DJ Neptune and other household names. Signal took time out from putting his personal project together to share the process behind these hits, the pressure he’s faced since and what the music production game needs.
Tell us about yourself
Signal: I’m Signal, the Plug. I’m a music producer originally from Ekiti State, but born and bred in Ibadan. IB City is a massive part of my musical influences.
How so?
Signal: I grew up listening to Yoruba music. I still listen to a lot of Tungba, Fuji and Juju music, and it’s reflected in the drums aspects of my production.
How did you get into music production?
Signal: My interest developed in National Open University (Ekiti Chapter) in 2018. My mum noticed I liked computers, so she gave me her laptop. I got a production software my brother had told me about and messed around with it, and watched YouTube tutorials, for nothing less than a year. Then I started to recreate top-charting tracks.
Our local music and electronic dance music (EDM) influenced my early production. I’d constantly listen to music and blend different sounds based on how I felt about it. That was my start. In 2020, I jumped in and out of Lagos many times, going from studio to studio, linking up with artists that people recommended and those that I met online to create. From going studio to studio; producing and recording, I have since met more artists and music business people.
Describe your signature sound
Signal: I call it a “happy sound” because 99% of the time, my sound will put you in a happy mood. My catalogue is proof of that.
What’s your creative process like now?
Signal: I produced Carry Me Go in January 2023, and it was one of the most straightforward jams I’ve ever made. I was in the studio with Khaid and Boy Spyce, and we decided to work on something. I had the drums down, we figured out the melody on it, we vibed for a bit, and when it got to the “Carry me go” part, we were sure the jam was done. We left it, returned to the studio later, trimmed it and moved to the mixing session.
For Mumu, I recorded it with Joeboy on my birthday — February 23. I went to his side, and he asked if I had beats to play for him. At first, I said no because I didn’t have any beat I’d made for him in particular, but I eventually played him a random beat. He was like, “But you said you didn’t have any”. He got to writing, and we finalised on the song that night. Months later, he connected me with DJ Neptune to release it.
Has anything changed for you since you made these hits?
Signal: Yes. How people view me. More people are willing to work with me. They feel like since I have hit songs under my belt, I can replicate it for them. If people insist they want me to recreate something I’ve done before, I will. But I don’t miss the chance to convince them that we should work on something new. If I’d stayed recreating stuff I’d made before, I probably wouldn’t have any of the popular jams I’ve made now.
I’m a beat selector now; people seek for my special sound. I have to stay innovative. Music production began as fun for me. It’s more work now, but I can’t afford to lose the fun part.
How hard has it been to keep the fun part?
Signal: Quite hard.
My experience so far has changed my idea of what it’s like to be a musician. Beyond making beats, I’ve had to learn to be strategic.
My experience with creators outside Nigeria has changed how I create too. Now, I know music is more than just recording a song. I also have to constantly adapt to new technology.
What are your thoughts on the current Nigerian music industry?
Signal: We need more transparency. The industry can be more open about information musicians need to navigate the business. People who contribute to songs should be credited appropriately. There should be an official platform where listeners can read the lists of people who worked on their favourite songs. We need more recognition for the people on the backend.
The situation is getting better though. And that’s exciting.
What’s next for Signal?
Signal: I’m working on my own project. Most of the tracks are ready, but getting clearances from different artists and their managements takes a while. I might make an instrumental project too, but we’ll see. Signal isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Many will return home to spend time with their loved ones because it’s the end of the year and holiday season. Those who haven’t seen each other in a while will link and catch up. People will bond over food and create new memories.
But in all these doings, there are some types of people who must be avoided if cheer and relaxation is what you want.
Reckless spenders
It’s important to spend and ball wisely this December because January will be here in mere seconds. Don’t let your peer’s spending spree lead you astray. Go out with the elderly ones and leave the burden of payment to them.
People who bill
But in choosing the elderly loved one to move with, don’t choose a black taxer by mistake. Anybody who bills you this holiday is inconsiderate — except you’re Tinubu’s minister or an assistant to his assistant. You might want to bill them, but that’s different.
Entitled people
You haven’t seen or heard from them in a long time, but they get upset because you’ve forgotten them? Except they’re those area brothers you have to settle to avoid trouble, please avoid them..
People who don’t send invites
They’re your “friends”, but they haven’t invited you to their house to eat Christmas food? Please, tell them to fix up before it’s too late and they lose you forever.
Team promise-and-fail
If your friend pledges to waybill you your Christmas food, but no delivery guy shows up to your door, he or she is a scammer. Immediately, start avoiding such friends.
Unappreciative people
Detach yourself from people who don’t appreciate and respect your time or feelings. Don’t let them take you on an unnecessary cruise this Christmas.
Party poopers
Anybody who dulls your vibe in or outside your house should be thrown away.
FitFam people
These ones are the worst of them all! Anyone who won’t let you breathe eat this festive time without bringing up your weight or the gym, cut them off till after New Year’s. There’s a time and place for everything, please.
Every year, the naira fights valiantly for its life with little success, and 2023 has been no different. The year started on a hopeful note. With the 2023 general elections scheduled for the first quarter, many young Nigerians were optimistic about a government change that would mean a long-overdue improvement in the economy and other sectors.
The elections ended with one of the most keenly contested results in Nigeria’s history and the results have contributed in no small way to the many ups and downs (mostly downs) Nigerians have experienced money-wise since.
This is a timeline of 2023’s most important money events and conversations.
New fuel prices(Part 1)
Image: Punch Newspapers
Nigerians aren’t strangers to fuel scarcity, but the 2022 floods and reports of adulterated fuel brought us the worst version we’d seen at that point. Unstable fuel prices followed us into January 2023, with fuel stations selling at between ₦200 – 250 per litre against the standard ₦167. The Federal Government officially standardised fuel prices at ₦185 per litre on January 19, 2023, and sent a memo to petroleum marketers informing them of the same. Lagos State even created a timetable for filling stations to further beat the scarcity. By April, fuel sold at ₦254 per litre.
Godwin Emefiele first announced the redesign of the ₦200, ₦500 and ₦1000 notes on October 26, 2022, with a January 31, 2023, deadline to phase out the old notes. What followed was a series of events fit for a telenovela. The Minister of Finance, Zainab Ahmed, claimed she wasn’t informed. The naira soon fell sharply in the foreign exchange market — selling at ₦1,000 to £1 and ₦800 to $1. By January 2023, the new notes still weren’t in circulation.
The CBN moved the deadline to February 10, but two days before the new deadline, the Supreme Court gave a temporary order to halt the expiration of the old notes. In response, President Muhammadu announced that only the old ₦200 notes could remain in circulation beyond February 10. While experts debated on whether the president could overturn the Supreme Court’s ruling, Nigerians suffered the brunt of widespread cash scarcity and bank transaction failure.
The ATMs were either empty or limited to ₦5k daily withdrawals. Bank queues were longer than a Fela album. This led to protests across the country — several banks and ATM points were set ablaze. Most institutions were ill-equipped to accept cashless payments. Patients were left untreated as family members went on the hunt for cash. People were left stranded in supermarkets after botched POS or bank transfer transactions. A pregnant woman in Kaduna reportedly died because her husband couldn’t get cash in time for her to be admitted to a health centre. Pure chaos.
POS agents quickly became major players in the scarcity as Nigerians turned to them for urgent cash needs. But the agents had to brave the long ATM queues or buy the scarce new notes at high rates, which reflected in their transaction charges. In Ekiti, POS charges increased from ₦20 per ₦1k withdrawal to ₦300 per ₦1k. In Lagos, POS agents charged as much as ₦2k – ₦3k to give ₦10k cash.
While all this was happening, the Nigerian government was focused on the February 2023 elections. It wasn’t until March that the Supreme Court and CBN confirmed all old notes would remain legal tender till December 31, 2023. In November 2023, the Federal Government asked the Supreme Court to extend this deadline yet again for an indefinite period. And one is forced to ask: Why all the wahala in the first place?
Those were President Bola Tinubu’s famous words in his inaugural speech on May 29, 2023. Right away, fuel stations started hoarding fuel, leading to another scarcity within months of the last one, panic buying and transportation hikes across the nation. The few open fuel stations sold at ₦500 – ₦700 per litre even before the new prices were announced.
The official prices ended up going as high as ₦557 per litre. By July 2023, it had climbed to ₦617 per litre. Fuel rationing led to a decline in fuel consumption nationwide, fewer cars on the streets as people took to trekking, increased cost of goods and services hinged on transportation and general hardship. E-hailing cab drivers even went on a nationwide strike, requesting an increase in fares as they could no longer work with the new fuel prices.
President Tinubu claims that fuel subsidy removal saved Nigeria over ₦1 trillion in two months, which “will now be used more directly and more beneficially for you and your families.” What this means exactly and how it will be done isn’t clear right now.
President Tinubu signed the Student Loan Bill into law on June 12, 2023. The bill, which should provide interest-free loans to indigent Nigerian students, was received with mixed reactions. Nigerians expressed concern over the loan requirements and two-year imprisonment punishment for defaulting on repayment. The Student Loan Scheme is expected to kick off in January 2024.
On June 14, 2023, the CBN released a press release announcing its decision to allow the naira to “float” in the foreign exchange market, with hopes that it’d bring our currency to a unified exchange rate. This came after Tinubu suspended former CBN Governor Emefiele on “financing terrorism” charges. The policy change meant the CBN would no longer determine the exchange rate, and the rate at which the naira gets exchanged for any foreign currency is dependent on the agreed price reached by the buyer and the seller.
In July 2023, the Federal Ministry of Education (FME) announced a school fees hike from ₦45,000 to ₦100,000 for new students of Federal Government Colleges. This came despite appeals by the Nigerian Parents Forum in June 2023. Federal universities like the University of Lagos (UNILAG), the University of Nigeria (UNN) and the University of Maiduguri (UNIMAID) also announced hikes by as much as 200%, to the dismay of students and parents alike. While the presidency argued that tuition is still free, the schools increased their miscellaneous levies, citing prevailing economic realities and the high cost of living.
Mass business closure and layoffs
Image: Zikoko Memes
In August 2023, Pharmaceutical company GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) announced its decision to exit the Nigerian market after 51 years of operation, due to foreign exchange scarcity and volatility, rising business costs and a shrinking consumer base. Procter & Gamble, Unilever, Sanofi, Jumia Food and Bolt Food, joined the exodus, contributing to mass unemployment in a country with 71 million citizens already living in extreme poverty. Nigerian-based companies and small businesses weren’t spared either. 20 out of the 175 textile companies in Nigeria were forced to shut down. Due to the rising cost of maize, poultry farms followed. Tech companies like Bolt, Alerzo and Jumia, conducted mass lay-offs to stay afloat.
Nigeria’s new $1.95 billion loan
Maybe this is why they keep giving us loans
Between June and September 2023, President Tinubu took out three loans from the World Bank to fund the power sector, women’s economic empowerment and the Adolescent Girls Initiative for Learning and Empowerment (AGILE) project. These loans are in addition to the country’s outstanding external debt of $14.51 billion to the World Bank.
The CBN revealed that the total amount of money available in Nigeria’s economy rose to ₦66.4 trillion in September 2023. But before you think, “Finally, a highlight!” This doesn’t mean we’re swimming in money. A larger money supply indicates declining interest rates, inflation and decreased purchasing power. Essentially, not good.
Highest inflation in two decades
Image: Zikoko Memes
The naira entered a free fall between September and October 2023, reaching a historic low of ₦1k/dollar and earning the tag of “one of the worst-performing African currencies” from the World Bank. In the parallel market, it sank as low as ₦1,170/dollar. Inflation rose to 26.72% in September — the ninth straight increase in 2023 and the highest in 20 years. Food inflation rose to 30.64%, adding to the food and living crisis across the nation.
Remember GSK Nigeria’s departure? As of November 2023, it meant drug prices had increased by up to 1000%, especially affecting inhalers and antibiotics. There has also been a reported drug scarcity due to the massive devaluation of the naira and a less-than-optimal business environment, leading to panic among consumers.
2023 came with a truckload of drama for Nigerians. Our dear fatherland witnessed things that had citizens in a perpetual state of “Wetin be this?” stirring heated discussions and emotions. As we finally countdown to the end, we take a trip down memory lane to capture the essence of events that drove the hottest conversations in 2023, reflecting the pulse of our nation through the course of the year.
The botched naira re-design
Image source: The Guardian Nigeria
Yes, there was a naira redesign exercise that ended up being pointless. Ex-CBN governor, Godwin Emefiele, with President Buhari’s backing, announced plans to revamp the naira notes to curb the circulation of counterfeits. He gave a deadline for citizens to return their old notes to their banks in exchange for new ones, which he extended to February 10, 2023. However, a shortage in the circulation of the new notes caused a cash scarcity that showed Nigerians shege in 3D for the next several months.
One woman even went viral for cursing out the CBN governor.
On behalf of Baba Alamu of LUTH road, Mushin side, & Adija Alaso in Isale Eko & so many Nigerians.
In came President Tinubu’s administration in May, and the old notes were legal tender once again. Two weeks later, Emefiele was suspended from his post as CBN governor and arrested by the DSS over allegations of fraud. The arrest sparked joy amongst Nigerians who went through hell during the cash scarcity period.
On February 25, Nigerians stepped out en masse to vote for their next president. Bola Tinubu of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Peter Obi of the Labour Party (LP) and Atiku Abubakar of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) were the strongest candidates out of 18 who vied for the position. On May 29, Bola Ahmed Tinubu was sworn in as the 16th president of the country. This happened despite agitation from citizens, and reports from international observers like the European Union Election Observation Mission in Nigeria (EU EOM), that the elections were anything but free and fair.
Tinubu’s campaign and win further deepened tribal divides in the country. His controversial “Emi Lokan” (it is my turn) slogan touted a Yoruba-led presidency above other tribes. On election day, several cases of voter suppression against people who wanted to vote for Labour Party’s Peter Obi were reported across the country. Notable celebs like Chioma Akpotha and Falz reported cases of violence in their polling units.
On May 11, Hilda Baci set out to break the Guinness World Record for longest cooking marathon. In June, she was awarded the record for 93 hours — even though she cooked for 100. In that waiting period, Nigerians showed the GWR shege with an estimated 1500 people applying within two months. But none quite caught a buzz like Ekiti state’s Chef Dami, who got the heat for challenging Hilda’s record right after she’d completed her attempt. Chef Dami embarked on an ambitious 120-hour cook-a-thon. However, it turned out she never made an official application to the GWR team.
To make matters worse, the GWR team saw a Hilda Baci x social engagement recipe, and did they cook? She visited their London headquarters barely a week after an Irish chef, Alan Fisher, broke her record and set a new one with 119 hours of cooking and baking on November 7.
Tinubu promised to “hit the ground running”, and he didn’t disappoint. The president’s gift to Nigerians upon assuming office was the immediate removal of the controversial fuel subsidy. During his inauguration speech on May 29, he said: “Subsidy can no longer justify its ever-increasing costs in the wake of drying resources.”
The aftermath of the subsidy removal? Fuel scarcity, a litre jumping to ₦617 from ₦198 and inflation.
When you buy a $44 billion plaything, you don’t just abandon it to gather dust. Tesla billionaire, Elon Musk, knows this, and that’s why he started by rebranding “Twitter” to “X” in July 2023. And we simply can’t get used to the name change. The iconic bird logo was also replaced. However, all was forgiven when the new landlord rolled out his payout feature in August, and Nigerian users smiled to the bank.
Since Elon’s takeover, he’s introduced a range of features that have both excited users and pissed them off too. Verification is now available to anyone who subscribes to Blue, Circle is gone, no tweet character limit as a Blue subscriber and more chaos.
What’s better than one billionaire’s hostile takeover of an iconic social media app? Two billionaires competing against each other with similar social apps. While Musk navigated the murky waters of X, Meta CEO, Mark Zuckerburg, launched his rival app, Threads, in July. And he did this with an iconically humorous tweet, his first post on the platform in 11 years. The app debuted with a staggering 10 million users, and trust Nigerians to join in the great migration.
But four months later, it’s safe to say Threads isn’t exactly Threading anymore.
July got Nigerians acting a fool on TikTok when US TikToker, PinkyDoll, went viral for live streaming herself acting like a video game non-playable character (NPC). Her popular catchphrases: “Ice cream, so good”, “Geng geng” and “ You got me feeling like a cowgirl” filtered into Nigerian TikTok, and we made a mess of it.
The rise of VeryDarkBlackman
Image source: IntelRegion
The Abuja-based influencer, Martins Vincent Otse AKA VeryDarkBlackman, caught the public’s attention in July, during his epic battle with Igbinoba Jennifer, owner of the popular skincare brand, Jenny’s Glow Nigeria. He reported the brand to NAFDAC for not duly registering her range of skincare products, and the agency sealed her Abuja office. The battle, however, would extend to other skincare brands in the country who were forced to act right, thanks to him.
These days, he’s in the news for stirring controversy with his takes on trending topics.
The exit of age-long multinationals
Pharmaceutical giant, GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), announced its exit from Nigeria in August, 51 years after it set up shop in Lagos. The company cited different reasons for the decision, and the usual culprits made the list: harsh business environment, fluctuating foreign exchange. The exit led to a rocket-high increase in drug prices. Panadol moved from ₦100 to ₦400, Augmentin from ₦4k to ₦20k, and Ventolin inhaler, ₦1500 to ₦16k.
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About four months after GSK’s exit, Procter & Gamble (P&G) announced that it would stop producing in Nigeria and return to an import-only model. The company’s Chief Financial Officer, Mr. Andre Schulten, also cited the foreign exchange situation as a major driving factor for the decision. Meanwhile, in March, Fast Moving Consumer Goods company, Unilever, exited the home care and skin cleansing market in Nigeria. The company’s departure was poised to help it find a more sustainable and profitable business model. They took with them, popular brands like OMO, Sunlight and Lux.
The Nigerian tech ecosystem scored a major win in August when President Tinubu appointed CCHub’s co-founder and CEO, Bosun Tijani, as minister of communications, innovation and digital economy. Things almost went south during the screening, when senators dug up a 2021 tweet in which he called them “morons”. His response:
“The tweets online don’t represent me at all. As a young man born and bred by Yoruba parents, I tender my sincere apology. I am profusely sorry,” Tijani said.
In October, Tijani unveiled his implementation plans for the Technical Talent Training program, which will train and develop three million young Nigerians.
The naira’s downward slope
Image source: Premium Times
2023 was a bad one for the Nigerian naira (NGN) as it hit a record low that sent a wave of worry across the nation. September saw the national currency trade between ₦950 and ₦1200 to a dollar from around ₦700 at the beginning of the year. Things haven’t gotten better yet.
The 2023 presidential election packed up in February, but many electorates, including the presidential candidates of PDP and LP were dissatisfied with INEC’s result. Obi and Atiku headed to the tribunal in March to seek the nullification of the election. The drama played out for months, and an unfavourable judgement was finally delivered in September.
However, Atiku continued his fight post-tribunal, leading to an inquiry into Tinubu’s university certificate. In October, a US court ordered the Chicago State University to release the president’s academic records. Discrepancies in some of the records suggested that Tinubu’s certificate was disputable at best. The Supreme Court eventually dismissed Atiku’s suit on grounds that it couldn’t entertain evidence that wasn’t tendered before the lower court.
No one saw the iron hand 2023 dealt Nigerians coming. From neck-breaking inflation to crazy fuel price and transport fare hikes, the poor barely gets a chance to breathe. As the year draws to a close, we deserve premium enjoyment to help us recover. We don’t want the Santa who comes with nothing but legwork and photo sessions. It’s these types or nothing.
The charity givers
Anyone who takes it upon themselves to give to the needy this holiday is the type of Santa Claus we need in this economy.
Santa Wizzy
Wizkid is in Lagos and high in Christmas spirit. On December 11, 2023, he posted on his IG story that he has ₦100m to give away this Christmas in the name of his late mum. This is how a proper Santa moves; in millions and merry.
Mint note relatives
This is a callout to all our uncles and aunties who are known to dole out crispy naira notes. Don’t let us miss you this December.
A boss who approves “13th month”
A 13th month salary or Christmas bonus would bang right now. With that, we can ball in December and still manage through the 80 days of January. Any boss that disburses the funds should be awarded Santa Claus of the Year.
Anyone in Tinubu’s government
Appointments have been flying up and down. The federal government just sponsored over 500 non-professional people to the COP28 summit in Dubai. It’s clear to see that the biggest ballers of this period are the direct beneficiaries of Tinubu’s government. Find one today and tell him how good you’ve been all year.
IJGB people
They shouldn’t even bother to change their cash to naira. Let them just come with their hard currencies and squeeze them into our hands.
Friendly police
We need policemen who won’t harass us for not giving them “something” for December.
Seyi Vibez has put out three projects in 2023 alone: Vibe Till Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Kingdom Come and his latest, NAHAMciaga EP — which drops on the first anniversary of his Billion Dollar Baby 2.0 album.
On December 1, he released his new EP on Deezer and Tidal alone. Seven days later, he finally put the project on other streaming platforms, and I got to listen. I’ve now rinsed it over ten times even though it’s eleven minutes long.
Image source: BellaNaija
The culmination of his back-to-back releases has solidified that Seyi Vibez holds the secrets to street hits. In this write-up, we’ve taken notes to give you the clear-cut recipe.
Image source: BellaNaija
Before you pick up your pen and paper (or whatever you take notes with), you should know you need significant competence in your mother tongue. To be a voice of the streets, you must be in sync with the local audience.
Most of Seyi Vibez’s music is in Yorùbá. But don’t forget you need to spit in a few more languages. He spoke Xhulu on Hushpuppi. In Highlife Interlude featuring Phyno, he sang in Pidgin English, Yorùbá and Igbo!
Image source: Nairaland
Next, when you get in the booth, work with a music producer you’ve grown up as Siamese twins with. Seyi and Dibs Tunez created hits like Man of The Year, Hat-trick, Chance (Na Ham), Professor and more together. If you have their kind of synergy with your producer, nothing can box you. From Highlife to Apala, Fuji, Afropop, and Amapiano, Seyi has built a solid CV on the back of this relationship. Even Indian sounds aren’t left out; he executed them well on Psalm 23.
If people made you lead praise and worship whether you liked it or not as a kid, send them money today. According to his lyrics on Kingdom, Seyi was once in a Quranic school for nine years and he’s better for it. His Psalm 23 covers everything from BBLs and pleasing women to his singing skills, and at the core, his quest for divine protection. Apply your Bible or Quran knowledge to your music. Asides from hacking the substantial religious demography, this is a smooth way to convince your parents about your music dreams. They love God, and you love music; everyone is happy.
Image source: Bella Naija
Don’t forget choral effects and sonorous background vocalists like Nelly Baradi, who harmonises on Seyi’s songs.
Once you’ve added these ingredients, your music is set to blow and the street is yours. But if it still doesn’t work out, don’t panic. Check your swag. Fix a gold grill and add more XXL clothes to your wardrobe.
On the night of December 3, 2023, Nigerian military drones “mistakenly” attacked a village called Tundun Biri in Kaduna State. This horrible incident in which the Nigerian Army bombed civilians isn’t the biggest news in the country right now. But it should be, so we took it upon ourselves to compile everything to know about it.
An Eid-el-Maulud celebration
It all started when locals of Tundun Biri village came together to celebrate the birth of the Holy Prophet Muhammad. According to the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) North-West Zonal Office, the bombing started around 9 p.m. Observers recounted that the first bomb ended over 30 lives on the spot. As people raced to help the injured and dead, a jet dropped another bomb.
Image source: X.com
The death count
As of December 5, NEMA has the official death count at 85, with 66 injured and receiving treatment at the Barau Dikko Hospital. However, an anonymous officer revealed that the army received at least 126 dead civilian bodies.
Tinubu speaks
President Bola Tinubu is currently at the COP28 Climate Summit in Dubai, but he conveyed his condolences through his spokesperson, Ajuri Ngelale, condemning the drone attack. He also called for a thorough investigation into the “bombing mishap”.
The Nigerian Army’s response
The General Officer, Commanding 1 Division of the Nigerian Army, Major-General Valentine Okoro, admitted that the attack came from the Nigerian Army. As the commander of the division that caused the mishap, Okoro gave a statement to Samuel Aruwan, Kaduna’s Commissioner of Internal Security and Home Affairs. Apparently, it was an error made while the drone operators were on a routine mission against terrorists. The Army spokesman, Brigadier General Onyema Nwachukwu, said the aerial patrol troops mistook the celebration for terrorist activities.
Image source: X.com
On December 5, the Nigerian Chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lieutenant General Taoreed Lagbaja, visited the village to commiserate with the families of the deceased and apologise to the village. He also promised to cover the hospital bills. But who will answer for the bombing of these innocent people?
CAN, Amnesty International and other NGOs
The Kaduna chapter of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), Amnesty International, Arewa Youth Consultative Forum (AYCF), among other non-govermental organisations, have condemned the military’s mishit. The chairman of the CAN Kaduna chapter, Reverend John Hayab, said they’ll continue to pray for the government, while the AYCF National President, Shettima Yerima, charged the government to launch an investigation.
Not the first bombing mishaps
In 2023, there have been three bombing mishap cases. The first happened in Niger State on January 24. The second killed over 40 herders in Nasarawa State two days later. According to research, at least 425 Nigerians have perished due to military “error” bombing between 2017 and 2023.
The Nigerian Air Force denies involvement
Although the Nigerian Air Force is behind the first two cases of bombing civilians by mistake this year, it quickly disassociated itself from the Tundun Biri incident. On Monday, December 4, the Nigerian Air Force (NAF) released a statement through its Director of Public Relations and Information, Air Commodore Edward Gabkwet. According to him, NAF had nothing to do with the attack and hadn’t operated in the state or its surroundings in a while. “The NAF is not the only organisation operating combat-armed drones in the Northwestern region of Nigeria.”
Citizens protest
On December 7, protesters marched to the National Assembly and demanded the immediate resignation of Badaru Abubakar, the Minister of Defence. In Zaria Local Government Area, Kaduna State, a group of youths took to the streets to protest the brutal bombing.
