Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Queenie (23) and Omeiza (30) chatted for three months before meeting for the first time. The plan was to become friends, but they found love in the process. Today on Love Life, they discuss peace they have found in each other, and the qualities that make them perfect.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Queenie: The first time I saw Omeiza’s picture, I think I laughed a little. A friend introduced us. He sent us each other’s contact and pictures. Omeiza was sporting an Afro and had a round neck t-shirt on. But the picture was taken in a way that emphasised his “pink lips.” My first thought was, “Ahan, this shakara is too much oh.” The picture looked like something you could use as a “feeling fly” meme.
Omeiza: I met Queenie through a friend. The friend visited me after a long period of absence and we caught up on everything we had been up to. The following day, he told me he knew a beautiful lady he was sure I would like and who would like me too, so he shared her contact and I called her to say “Hello.” We became friends immediately. I don’t remember what her profile picture was, but the beauty was obvious. I remember thinking, “Ahan, such a babe.”
Why did this friend introduce you both? Was it an attempt to matchmake?
Queenie: I wouldn’t say matchmake per se. I think he did it as a means to make Omeiza and I become friends, but see us today: we are now more than friends.
Omeiza: My friend is an interesting person. During our catching up, he was very curious about who I was dating and I told him I wasn’t seeing anyone because dating had been exhausting and I needed a break. He laughed and said, “I know you won’t be able to cope considering you are a nerd.” He then said if I were to date and put myself out there more, I was bound to meet someone. In my mind, I was like, “Na so e easy?” During that conversation, he decided to introduce me to Queenie. I think he wanted us to meet first, become friends and decide if we liked each other.
So, matchmaking it is, but from a friendship angle. Nice. What were the first chats like?
Queenie: The chats were cool, I think. Omeiza was a complete nerd. He started with ‘Hi’, then he went ahead to tell me his full name, which I found funny, but I told him mine as well. We are both from Kogi state, and that made me curious and interested in getting to know him more.
Omeiza: It’s time to come clean here. My first message was “Hi, I am Omeiza. Ola gave me your number.” I am still suffering for using that line. She has never stopped taunting me after almost two years of meeting her.
As she should. Did coming from Kogi state make everything easier?
Omeiza: Omo, as much as I thought that could work to my advantage, it didn’t oh.
Queenie: We are both from Kogi state but different local government areas.
And this made things difficult… how?
Omeiza: She didn’t want to date someone from her state. Me neither, but I was quite flexible. As for her, the door of that possibility was tightly closed.
Queenie: It’s not like that, please. I am just not interested in men from Kogi state. Kogi men are aggressive. I knew quite a number of them and the aggressiveness seemed like a visible pattern in all of them. Me, I’m soft and I don’t like wahala, and so I decided to avoid them completely.
When Omeiza and I started having meaningful conversations, I saw how different and really cool he was and was like, “Hmm, nice one.” I realised my reservations were not totally true, so I let my guard down and re-examined my bias.
Ahan, look at Omeiza breaking stereotypes. Omeiza, why didn’t you want to date someone from Kogi state?
Omeiza: After visiting Kogi state three times, it seemed to me that the ladies there do not have a mind of their own. They are overly submissive, especially those who grew up in the state. It’s not that I cannot date someone from Kogi state; I am open to considering it. It just has to be someone who didn’t spend too much time in the state.
When you and Queenie chatted, what did you talk about?
Queenie: We wanted to know more about each other. He told me his occupation, I told him mine. I think we talked about our dislikes too. He preferred calls to texting, so we had long phone calls.
Omeiza: We talked for almost two or three hours every night. The chats were very formal, and that’s all on me. I should also own up to this: I also Googled her. I did a complete CIA investigation, LMAO. The more I searched, the more interested I became. So I kept asking question after question and each time, I would stare at her picture and become arrested anew by her beauty. It didn’t take long for me to switch from nerd to lover boy. Three months after our first online introduction, we met physically.
Ouu. But wait oh. Three months? Why not sooner? I thought the chemistry was off the roof?
Omeiza: Yes it was, but we were not in the same state.
Queenie: Besides that, I had some things I was occupied with too, so we had to take our time.
Fair point. Oya, download the tea for me. How was the first meeting?
Queenie: We met at Agodi Gardens in Ibadan. I chose the venue. He came late sha.
Omeiza: And you queried me, Miss Punctuality.
Queenie: LMAO. Yes, he apologised, and we got over it. Omo, he was taller than I imagined, but he was really cool, and when we hugged, he smelled so nice. This is a major turn on for me. I love it when a man smells nice.
He also brought me a book from Lagos, and I thought it was a sweet gesture from him. We strolled around the garden and talked about random things. We were really just happy to finally meet each other after a long period of calls and chats. Oh, he also found out I was scared of puppies and peacocks, and he laughed at me so much. Imagine strolling in a nature park with a tall, dark, handsome and courteous man. It was a heartwarming experience.
Omeiza: You go fear tall, dark and handsome. She chose Agodi Gardens because of her love for nature. I was very excited to meet her, but nervous as well. I underestimated Ibadan traffic and ended up keeping her waiting because I was caught in traffic.
But see ehn, I saw Queenie and was floored. She was stunning. And she had this shyness I thought was cute. When I held her hands, I felt butterflies in my tummy. I won’t even lie.
Omeiza, plis. Some of us are single, abeg.
Omeiza: Two very interesting things happened on that day. The first was that she was so scared of a puppy and a peacock. I teased her a bit and we both had a good laugh. The second was that she started feeling cold, so I gave her my jacket like they do in Hollywood movies.
Queenie: The gesture was touching and sweet. When we were about to cross the road while leaving, he held my hand and I thought that was sweet too. I felt protected.
Omeiza: You kuku used the opportunity to steal one of my cardigans.
Queenie: Normal stuff. Also, I didn’t steal it. I just changed ownership. I have plans to do that for more cardigans.
LMAO. What happened after the date? Did the conversations become more romantic?
Queenie: Well, I’d say we became a lot closer. His sweetness and courteous nature had drawn me to him, and there was no denying that I liked and felt something for him. But I still needed to make up my mind about being with him, and so I became more curious and inquisitive. I wanted to know his core values, his plans, his past relationships and if he was willing to be more than a friend, before I committed myself fully.
Omeiza: Me I was trying to convince her to be my girlfriend. We talked about a lot, and it was the first time I didn’t feel the need to hide anything about myself from anyone. I felt safe enough to be vulnerable with her. This doesn’t mean I wasn’t curious about her too. I wanted to know her thought process, ideas, interests and her past relationships, etc.
In talking about these things, we opened up to each other and shared a lot. I had so many things I had bottled in that I ought to have shared but didn’t have anyone close to me to share them with. I might have even teared up at one point. She had very lovely qualities.
What qualities are these, and why do they matter?
Queenie: Omeiza is thoughtful, and he pays attention. On our first date, he brought me a book. When the weather changed and I got cold, he gave me his jacket to keep me warm. I didn’t even know he noticed I was cold. He is considerate, a good listener, and he’s very caring. He is that person who would do everything to make you comfortable around him. For me, these matter a lot. I can’t be with a man who won’t make me feel at ease.
Omeiza: Queenie is such a breath of fresh air. She is very considerate, honest, beautiful, intelligent and God-fearing. She also says things as they are and is not shy to speak out when something isn’t working for her. If she feels overwhelmed by my gestures of affection, she doesn’t hesitate to speak up. This is something I have always hoped for. I don’t like to guess how people feel. I want to know.
Aww. We have definitely entered relationship zone.
Queenie: No oh, we entered consistent communication first. Becoming closer helped us to the point where I could conclude that Omeiza was the man for me, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and so when he asked me to be his girlfriend on the first of May 2020, three months after our first hello on WhatsApp, I didn’t hesitate before saying yes.
How has the relationship been so far?
Omeiza: It has been a smooth ride. Queenie has become my companion and my happiness partner.
Queenie: It’s a dream come true, honestly. The best part is having that one person who never gets tired of listening to you, even when you no longer know what to say. Also, having that supportive partner who has your back, cares for you and looks out for you. Omeiza is all of that. I thank God that he didn’t let me over-stress myself before blessing me with Omeiza. And what’s more? He can cook. He’s a complete package.
Omeiza: I like how we cooperate in doing things. We are almost similar in how ambitious we are. We are both serious about us and the relationship, and that’s the most beautiful part. She’s in sync with me when we try to fix issues in our relationship.
Ah, issues? Tell me all about them. Have there been any fights?
Queenie: We’ve had arguments, not fights.
Omeiza: I don’t like drama. I had a lot of drama in my life before meeting her, which is why I said she is a breath of fresh air. Also, arguments are to be expected, but we’re always looking for a way forward, and that’s immensely helpful.
Queenie: One argument I remember clearly was the day I responded grumpily to him during a phone call. He got angry and said I should let him know whenever I was ready to talk. My own grumpiness turned into anger. But even then, I knew I still loved him and would never hurt him. Later in the evening when he called, he teased me, I laughed, and we moved on after we both apologised.
Omeiza: Our funniest fight would be when she started taking a lot of pictures, and I got frustrated since I am her personal photographer. I started arguing with her about the frequency. We were out for movies, and while waiting for our movie, we sat down on a bench and acted like complete strangers. It was a very weird feeling and we had to quickly end it o. We couldn’t take it anymore.
Aww. Lovebirds. What’s your method for resolving these arguments?
Omeiza: We find a way to talk it out, learn our lessons and talk about something fun: movies, books, or simply gist about random things.
Are there areas you’d love to see improvement in each other?
Queenie: Omeiza can overreact sometimes, but we’ve talked about it and I can see changes. I want him to keep improving on himself as I want him to always be the best version of himself. I’d also like for him to not always take everything to heart.
Omeiza: I can’t think of any. The way our relationship works is that we constantly learn and improve ourselves. It’s difficult to mention anything since she has improved on anything I do not like or fancy about her.
How would you rate the relationship on a scale of 1-10?
Omeiza: 9. Not perfect, but close to perfection.
Queenie: 8. 10 minus 8 is 2. The 2 stands for our imperfections and flaws, and the hurdles that are stepping stones, while the 8 stands for how much effort we put in the relationship to show that we love and respect each other.
Ahan, see breakdown. Now I can see why Omeiza has chosen you as his last bus stop.
Omeiza: I no tell you?
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