Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Segun, 32, and Damilola, 26, met on 2go. For today’s Love Life, they talk about moving from friends to lovers, and how mathematics played an important role in helping them bond.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Damilola: It was during the days of 2go. Back then, there were chatrooms for university students. We happened to be in the same chatroom, and he mistakenly sent me airtime instead of his childhood friend — apparently, our numbers looked alike. I messaged him to say he sent airtime to the wrong person, and he said that meant I was the one who needed it. I insisted on returning it, but he said I shouldn’t bother.
Segun: Omo, e don tay small oh. I was serving my father’s land back then in 2012. In the evening after work, I would go online to chat on 2go. That day, I was in a Unliag chatroom when my friend requested for airtime, but the airtime found its way into Madam’s phone. I’ve never seen that level of witchcraft before. But let’s call it God’s doing sha.
LMAO. So what did God do next?
Segun: She called me immediately, requesting to return my airtime. I was like kilo sheleyi. God buttered your bread, instead of you to be happy, you are forming. Anyway, that was how we got talking. One thing that stood out for me was her voice: so cool and soft. But look at, she has now become a hoodlum. We thank God for her life sha.
Damilola: You and who is a hoodlum? LMAO. After the airtime error, we chatted once in a while. The most fascinating thing was that he was the only person I met on 2go that lived in my area, or within reach.
Were you in the university then?
Damilola: University bawo? I was still looking for admission oh. That was the time I was actively pursuing Unilag thinking they would give me admission. The ghetto. They rubbed me in the mud, my dear. When my dad saw how Unilag was treating his precious daughter, he suggested I give FUNAAB a try, because it’s in his hometown.
Segun: And I got my BSc from FUNAAB.
Ah, the dots are connecting.
Damilola: FUNAAB too did not give me admission. In fact, my phone was stolen when I went to write my post-UTME. So when Segun and I began chatting on 2go, a lot of our conversations was just me relaying my experience to an alumni of the school.
Segun: We eventually met after I finished service. That was several months after the airtime error brought us together.
So throughout this time, were you just chatting as friends, or did you already start on the topic of dating?
Damilola: Nah, we were chatting as friends.
Segun: Dating ke? No oh. I don’t do online dating. I always like to see who I want to go for. Besides sef, I never had any intentions of dating her.
Damilola: He was in Nasarawa then, so random chats and gisting were the only things we could have done. It was such a funny thing. We would ask each other questions like, “Hi, how are you doing?”; “How’s the weather over there?”; “Just checking on you”; “How’s service year going?”
Dating just didn’t cross my mind. At that time, I had a lot of friends I met online and I didn’t see anything wrong in having more.
Segun: I had just left a relationship then, so dating didn’t cross my mind too.
What was your first meeting like?
Damilola: We saw pictures of each other before we eventually met physically, and so I went there with an idea of what he looked like physically. On my way back from work, I decided to stop by his place.
Segun: When I saw her, I thought, “So this is the big head I have been talking to. Nice one.” A friend asked how we knew each other and I explained the airtime incident to him, and we all laughed about it.
Damilola: I completely understand where the question may have come from. We were of different status: he had just finished serving and I was seeking for admission — I wasn’t on his “level”.
Segun: But now you have become Mama, and you are now doing shakara. Wonders shall never end.
How did things go after that first meeting?
Damilola: We maintained our friendship.
Segun: Yes, we continued talking, but it was better than before.
So who was the first to catch feelings?
Segun: Catch feelings ke? When it’s not fever or cold. Anyway sha, as time went by, I began to like her. She was kind, smart, honest, God-fearing and passionate about people, and these things made me like her a lot more.
But I know she was the first to catch feelings sha, because when I asked her out, she didn’t even think about it twice before giving me a reply.
Segun: Amazing grace.
Damilola: Look at this big baby.
Segun: Ehn, but did I lie?
Damilola: He caught feelings first abeg. He saw babe that was wise and full upstairs and decided to shoot his shot. As a wise babe that I am, I said yes to a gentleman. I mean, who says no to a mathematician?
Wait, he’s a mathematician?
Damilola: See ehn, the most important thing for me was that he studied the course I dread the most.
Segun: See this scammer.
But when did the asking out happen?
Segun: It was a very long time after our first physical meeting. Several months, if not a year.
Damilola: It took a very long time. And when he did the asking out, he went straight to the point.
Segun: Omo, no time to waste. I’m not an art student, or I would have written poetry.
Damilola: Our meetings had become slightly frequent because he stayed with his parents who lived close by. And I was trying another school then, so he was very helpful with mathematics.
Segun: Abeg abeg, how many maths I sabi?
Damilola: Humble people, that’s how they talk.
How long have you been together?
Damilola: Five years, if I’m not mistaken. Omo,, let him calculate it.
Segun: You are correct na.
Is this the part where I ask you about marriage plans?
Damilola: Please oh. I have several goals I need to achieve, several plans that need to materialise before marriage.
Segun: Say the truth. You want to travel abroad.
Damilola: Ehn, that’s also part of it.
A strategic queen. Tell me, what do you love most about each other?
Segun: I love how Damilola cares for me. It’s a blessing to know that I am loved entirely by this person who sees me just as I am. I also love how brilliant she is. She is dedicated, hardworking, and committed to enjoying her life. She ticks all the boxes. I can’t think of any reason to love her less.
Damilola: I love his entirety. He’s always there for me, he’s dedicated to me, and that level of love and support is something I do not take for granted. And yes, he is good at mathematics.
Have you ever had any issues in the five years of your relationship?
Segun: Plenty oh. Let’s just thank God for God.
Damilola: I think they are majorly issues of miscommunication.
How do you solve them?
Damilola: I don’t have energy for wahala and he doesn’t too. So when issues happen, we just keep our distance for a while, and when everything is properly sorted, we come back again.
Segun: Let me not even lie, I am the one who does the distancing. It’s why I appreciate her perseverance and patience.
Also, I have come to understand that I am a poor communicator. I always feel like I don’t want to disturb her, while she is big on talking about things. Me, I get tired of talking easily, and since that is her specialty, disagreements are bound to come up.
Damilola: I honestly just talk about it when we see physically. That’s me for you.
Segun: Oh by the way, she can be stubborn at times, and when corrected, she doesn’t adhere to it. I don’t know if she does it intentionally or accidentally. But I don’t need to change her sha. She’s responsible for her choices, and I don’t want to come off as being controlling or possessive. I do my part by telling her what I have observed and leave her to reflect on the rest.
Interesting. How would you rate your relationship on a scale of 1 – 10?
Segun: It’s just as she has said.
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