7 Signs That Nollywood Does Not Rate Us Sometimes

June 20, 2020

Nollywood movies are one of the reasons we need to thank God for growth and understanding. Because for real, there are some things that should not even make it into a movie that Nollywood producers normalised and we accepted like that. This is a list of some of them.

1. Odd plots.

How is it that this movie is about a man who beats his wife because his children ate the banga soup that their neighbour took from the gods who went out to a party the other night where they gave their life to Jesus Christ? You see the confusion?

2. Flashbacks inside flashbacks.

Someone will have a flashback to an event that happened ten years earlier. In that flashback, he will still have another flashback to another event. And in that flashback, there will be another flashback. A complete unboxing of flashbacks.

3. “Ah, it was all a dream.”

This is the annoying dream thing that happens in the movies where major life-altering events will happen. Next thing you know, the actor will wake up and realise that it was all a dream and they had the dream because they slept without food.

4. Inconsistency.

Only in Nollywood will you see a 2017 calendar in a 1970 scene.

5. Odd casting choices.

If these people had their way, they would cast Mr. Ibu as a 12-year-old American girl. All they need is small white powder, one darling Yaki wig, and two agbalumo for breasts and he is good to go.

6. This unresolved matter of ghosts.

Ghosts in Nollywood movies do the most, tbh. They make phone calls, they die with bushy hair but return to haunt their neighbours with fancy hair cut, they look twice before crossing and almost always wear white jellabiya. Did Nollywood scriptwriters get this memo from heaven? We need answers.

7. Using “To God Be The Glory” to resolve a lot of questionable issues.

To-God-Be-The-Glory | Zikoko!

Someone just vanished into thin air and the next thing you’ll see is To God Be The Glory. Yes, to God be the glory for keeping us alive to witness this thing you called a movie, but oga director, there are some things you can’t To God Be The Glory your way out of.

We are glad that this trend or whatever remains of it is dying.

Kunle Ologunro

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