If you don’t count the many court cases and possibility of re-runs in some places, the 2023 election season is over.
What this means is many politicians have now lost their jobs — noticeably five governors (out of eleven) and a certain Senator Chimaroke who’s gone on a Twitter rant since he lost his Enugu East senatorial seat to a Labour Party candidate.
It must suck to suddenly be unemployed, especially after putting so much effort into a campaign, and we get it. That’s why we thought to share all the other jobs these ex-incumbents can do now that they’re back in the job market.
All they have to do is put “Political Activist” in their bios and drop one tweet condemning injustice every three months. They can even throw in random hot takes once in a while for pizzazz. Will they earn? I don’t know, but at least, they won’t be idle.
Social media influencer
They already have the two major requirements: followers and small fame. Just get a ring light, start going live every two days, and brand endorsement deals will start rolling in.
Why only get pictured making hair in salons during election season when you can make it a full-time job? Those who learnt how to fry akara and roast corn for campaign pictures can also sell their wares for real now.
No shade to motivational speakers, but it seems like an easy job. All they have to do is share how they got their first pair of shoes at the ripe old age of 25, and career don set.
Our politicians don’t like sitting their asses down in Nigeria before, so they might as well take up vlogging. I know I’d love to watch a “Travel to launder money in Turkey with me” video.
Shocking as it may seem, many questionable politicians have die-hard fans. They should just ask those fans to pay to shake their hands, since they obviously don’t have sense.
Remember how a snake swallowed ₦36 million in JAMB office? Nigerian politicians are already experts in doing the impossible. So what are a few more magic tricks to them?
They obviously love promising us change and never delivering. Maybe if they become bus conductors, they’d remember to?