Someone made a tweet about how grooming products for men makes them smell like concepts while women’s products have them smelling like real things and they were not wrong. We decided to write a guide to create the perfect men’s grooming products.
1. Make it 9-in-1
Men don’t like spending money unnecessarily on one thing when they have three girlfriends, their wives and sugar mummies to take care of. Do some of them have better skincare routines? Yes, but most men still use bath gels that also shampoo and condition their hair so who is the villain here?
2. You must make men smell like concepts
If other companies that make grooming products for men are still in business then surely this tactic works. Men don’t want to smell like flowers or vanilla, they want to smell like dark temptation, sporty Icy blast, hardwood and wet leather. You are welcome.
3. Dark packages
Just like their hearts, all grooming products for men should be dark. Men don’t need colour in their life. You see, it’s very bad for their aesthetic, how will other men be able to tell that they are alpha males if their shower gel is bright pink?
4. Be serious
When you’re making advertisements for grooming products for men, there’s no need for a plot or story, just go right to it. Tell them what the product does and use the least average looking guy you can find, make sure he is toned as fuck too. That’s sure to drive the point across.
5. Appeal to their testosterone
Most men don’t like to admit that they care about their appearance, name that product accordingly. Hydrating moisturizer? More like bro’s facial engine oil.
6. Pander to their need to multiply
For this product to sell, they have to know that they will smell good enough for their partners to lose their minds. Nothing motivates them to buy a product like the possibility of sex.
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