If you weren’t whipped with a cane (and eba stick) or gotten slapped unexpectedly, you probably didn’t grow up in a Nigerian home.
Here are 21 things you could get beaten for as a child in a Nigerian home.
1. Not greeting the visitors in your house.
Where is your home training?
2. Staring at the food served for the visitors for more than 3 seconds.
Only cane can cure your long throat.
3. Walking around without any particular aim.
Somebody can’t even take small stroll again.
4. Talking back at an elder.
Talk back, get slapped.
5. Asking for too much food.
Because you must never eat to your fill.
6. Refusing to eat.
But is it your eat?
7. Breaking a plate or glass cup.
RIP to your backside.
8. Crying for no reason.
Sadness is not your option in a Nigerian home.
9. Not shedding adequate amount of tears when you get flogged.
Because only stubborn goats chest cane.
10. Collecting gifts from visitors with open arms.
You must say “Ah no, thank you” while looking out for your mother’s side eye before even dreaming of collecting any gift.
11. Being too happy or excited.
You should always be in a state of solemnness.
12. Looking your parents in the eye when they speak to you.
Your eyes must be fixated on the floor.
13. Looking away from your parent’s face while they’re speaking to you.
You’ve started growing wings abi?
14. Singing right after you got scolded for something wrong you did.
You can’t sing away your sorrows.
15. Buying what you feel like eating with your lunch money.
How dare you spend your twenty Naira lunch money on something other than the salt and pepper biscuits your parents love so much?
16. Sitting while elders stand.
Because, only elders have the right to rest their behinds.
17. Fighting with your agemate and winning.
Why did you fight?
18. Fighting with your peers and losing.
Does he have two heads?
19. Eating at your neighbour’s house.
Eating free food from your kind neighbour is a taboo.
Renting an apartment in Lagos is harder than finding a pin in the groundnut pyramid. No matter how prepared you are for the drama, there will always be something that blindsides you, even if you are an old hand at it. Since we are good people that always got your back, we curated nine things […]
In this letter, Camela writes to her sweet grandma, Mma Ange, who’s been her best friend for as long as she can remember. Camela wants her Mma to know she’s brought so much love, goodness and taste into her life.
Today’s Man Like subject is marketing executive and designer, @GoldieIyamu. He talks about why he chose to be independent from his dad, the loneliness that comes with setting boundaries and why masculinity doesn’t influence his style.
Nollywood is popping right now, but Yoruba movies have been giving us hot content for ages, and on a budget too. If you ever feel like you need to make one yourself, this guide is for you.
Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]
The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]
Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:
While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:
A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]
Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.