NYSC is that mandatory scheme where all fresh graduates are slaves to the government. And for every corps member, getting posted to a place of primary assignment is the dreaded moment of truth. The beating heart when you check your dashboard, the shock when you finally see where you’ll spend the next ten months, the tears after. Here is a list of all the things that could possibly happen.
1. Getting posted to a primary school
When you check your posting letter and you see Glory Be To Jesus Nursery and Primary School or Astagfirullahi Kiddies Academy
2. Or a village
You already bragged to your friends that they will post you to Lagos Island but you see Okoroboshi North Central as your LGA
3. But your friends get posted to cities and big companies
Shey NYSC did not see Chevron to send me to? Oluwa wetin dey manifest?
4. When your headmaster tells you to resume in the first week of January
I don’t understand, sir. Please tell me, is it because of me that you opened school?
5. How hard you pray for your PPA to reject you
God shebi you were there when Joseph’s brothers rejected him. Perform the same miracle for me, Jehovah!
6. But they accept you with open arms and even throw a party
“Hello sir? Hello? Please reject me na. My middle name is rejection, I swear. I’m bad for business, just reject me and see.
7. You shedding premium tears when you realize you are stuck
So I’ll spend the next ten months of my life doing this? Ah. God, we did not discuss it like this o.
8. How you compensate yourself with the thought of an increased allowee
Something good can still come out of it sha. Maybe I’ll be able to buy house when Banana Island starts doing their Black Friday promo
9. But alert comes in and it’s still N19,800
And you have gone to collect Benz on credit.