Interview With The Remembrance Day Pigeons: “Tell Buhari We Have Just Started”

January 16, 2021

Interview With… is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the weird and interesting lives of inanimate objects and non-human entities.


Take a second to think of an activist. Who came to your mind? FK Abudu? Falz? We can’t tell, but we are sure they were human. Well, non-human entities are just as capable of carrying out bold forms of activism, as we saw on Remembrance Day.

In this interview, the head of the Remembrance Day Pigeons shares with us the reason they refused to fly when released by Buhari. It reveals how the animals have been fighting for Nigerians for a long time, and what’s next on their activism agenda.

Zikoko: Can we just start by saying we salute your courage?

Remembrance Day Pigeon: Why?

It is not every day that the citizens of the animal kingdom step up to assist Nigerians in their struggle.

We have been fighting for you guys since. We have never left you alone.

Really?

Oh yes. Have you forgotten when our brothers, the rats, chased Buhari out of Aso Rock?

Wow. That was planned?!

Even the snake that swallowed money came from us.

The corrupt snake?

The actual mission was to go and bite the Minister of Information, whose name we shall not mention.

So what happened?

It was corrupted by that very same minister. So you can imagine how bad this country is. Imagine a snake being corrupted. A snake that is the grandmaster of deception itself.

That was when we decided, enough is enough. It’s time for operation national disgrace, and we knew Buhari would be the best target.

Why Buhari?

Why not Buhari? Buhari the travel blogger, Buhari the lifestyle TV personality, Buhari the agbada model. Why should he not be the recipient of our disgrace?

Hmmm.

We planned our move well. We knew they would need pigeons for the Remembrance Day, so we positioned ourselves for them to catch us. If it was someone else that released us and said, “Oya fly,” we might have listened.

But it was Buhari. Can he even pronounce fly? He was there shouting, ‘Ply! Ply!‘ and we just looked at him like, “Who does this one think he is talking to?”

Imo state governor too carried chest and tried to command us. A man that will chop disgrace will chop disgrace. Even if they offer him Jollof rice, he will ask for disgrace as appetizer. If we did not fly for Buhari, his oga, who is he to think we will listen to him?

Ahan, you are bold oh.

What will he do? Lock the border again? Restrict us from TraderMoni? Maybe he will ask Tolu to write a thread sha. We wanted to show Nigerians that if a man you call your president cannot make pigeons fly, then everything is wrong.

So, where do we go from here?

Tell Buhari that we have just started. We, the pigeons, are a jealous and angry lot, visiting the iniquity of the senate and Aso Rock upon the president from the first generation to the fourth generation.

Ah.

Tell him we are coming. If he flies to Ougadougou, he will find us there, ready to disgrace him and shit on his head if need be. Things have fallen apart in Nigeria, and the centre can no longer hold. Pigeon shit is loosened upon Aso Rock, and until they all confess, every head shall collect.


Check back every Friday by 9AM for new Interview With episodes. To read previous stories, click here.


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 11, 2021

Imagine considering the luxury of choosing a career? Nigerian kids could never. Not when principalities and powers are out to frustrate and stress you, here are 6 ways Nigeria chooses a career for you. 1. Your parents choose   Nigeria or your strict parents will choose a career for you. Your mother already decided since your […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 2, 2023

From Lagos to Atlanta, fans never stop comparing and pitting their faves against each other. Just like Rihanna can’t beat the Beyoncé comparisons 17 years into her awe-inspiring career, Davido still gets Wizkid comparisons daily despite just a year between their debut. Similarly, Seyi Shay was compared to Tiwa Savage when she came out with […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X