If Love Languages Were Nigerians

April 13, 2021

Have you ever wondered what the love languages would be like if they were Nigerians? Well, I have and now I can’t unsee it.

1) Gift giving

Gift giving is your rich sugar daddy that has old money and who probably has as many oil blocks as you have siblings. He is also a chairman of one plc. The sugar daddy will never give you money but will buy gifts for you in every city he travels to. He forgets that money is sometimes a gift. Not every time Birkin. Sometimes, hundreds of thousands of dollars. If how you show love is by buying people gifts, sometimes squeeze dollars into their hand. Tough times are lasting.

2) Acts of service

The first daughter of a Nigerian home. She is always doing something for someone and so she has associated doing things with love. Buy her all the gifts in this world, but she will not know you love her until you sweep her compound, wash her car, and help her iron her clothes.

When you realise the only way to show love is to wash car under hot sun

3) Quality Time

Quality Time and Secondary school mathematics teachers are one and the same. With mathematics teachers, they know the period is over and they just want to spend time with you. So what if you don’t understand what they were teaching? They were just happy to be involved. Oya, what is now the difference between them and quality time?

4) Physical touch

Bus conductors have hacked physical touch as a love language. All you have to do is give them an opportunity to love you by sitting beside the door. You both will have a chance to explore proper intimacy. The both of you will be so close, you will share sweat and keep inhaling each other’s bad breath. They might even spit on you if you are lucky. Sit beside the door and just await the experience.

5) Words of affirmation

He is your guest pastor at your church. They might be good people, but they will not believe it until it comes from someone else. Now, if you are dating someone with words of affirmation as their love language, just spin their head sometimes. Send them texts like “my most gorgeous beautiful holder of my heart.” Put all your english to use.

Over raw best in English

QUIZ: WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

To find out your love language, click here


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