Succeeding is hard in this country. Even when you make it, you are accused of ‘sleeping your way to the top’ even though you were wide awake. How then does one sleep their way to the top, since people will accuse you of doing it regardless?

We have ideas. It’s time to sleep your way to the top. Goodbye to working hard!

1. Look for an upstairs apartment and rent.

Your mattress will be upstairs too, won’t it? Congratulations, you have slept your way to the top.

2. Don’t attend job interviews.

Just find a comfortable spot in your place of worship and sleep. Divine connection through sleep. Which top is higher than heaven? None. Not even Kiliminjaro.

Help yourself so that God can help you oh.

3. If you do attend any job interview, ask them to offer you a bed to sleep.

They’ll do it. You know why? It’ll show you as a unique candidate who has everything under control, and that is who they want in their organisation. Look at you, sleeping your way into an employment.

4. Are you planning to sleep with someone? Stay on top.

We don’t mean sleeping – sleeping oh, were are referring to the actual sleeping – sleeping. You know the vibes. *wink*

5. Hailing a ride? You better sit on top.

Any sleep that will catch you, let it catch you there. You need to manifest your topmost ambition before anything. That’s the truth.

6. Any elevator you enter, sleep in it as it takes you to the top floor.

May God guide your journey as you sleep your way to the top. May you not experience nightmares in your sleep.

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