Are You Secretly Very Vain? We Know What That’s About

May 27, 2020

There are a few things we’ve all been told to never speak about in public. Money, our good looks and Davido’s verse in The Money.. .

That said however, when it comes to the matter of our good looks, it’s a bit of a shame it’s regarded as tasteless to go on and on about it. I mean, last last, your face is fine, nothing you can do about it. And your drip? It’s impeccable, how do you not flex with that?

Because we know your pain and we want you to feel seen by more people than your closest friend’s list on Instagram, we’re dedicating a whole post to all our special vain ass readers, we’re pretty sure this is how life is for you on most days. You’re seen and you’re welcome.

When you get bored, your usual solution is to take fire pictures of yourself to ease it

436 pictures after, you’re less bored and you have a new display picture for your WhatsApp, yay.

There’s no two-way mirror you’ve met that you didn’t like

Abi we lie?

Talking to your friend on FaceTime, but the whole time our face is blown up and they’re the little rectangle

Again, show us where we lied.

When your friends post snaps on your night out and you keep replaying, just to watch the part where you show

see fine boy now

When you plan an outfit in your head and it turns out exactly how you imagined

Versace will not see me to hire now oh.

When you wear a fire outfit for an event, but you feel like not enough people have seen you so you start forming activity

‘Ahan Jude, I haven’t seen you since yesterday, let me walk across the podium (so everybody can see me) and come to your side’

How you fight the urge on your friend’s birthday to post a picture where you look cuter than them

Must.not.let.my.vanity.win.

When they’re naming the best dressed/finest people in the faculty and you have to start forming unlooking, but e sure you die you’ll be chosen

If I don’t win this, who will?

Your face when they give the award to someone with less drip than you

They probably didn’t want it to be too obvious.

Boyin Plumptre

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