There’s no one as religious as Nigerians. But throw them into these 8 situations and watch them turn extra-religious in a fit of panic.
1. Pregnancy scares
You might have never seen your friend pray but the day they realise that their period might’ve gone to war and won’t return for 9 months, you will hear all the different names of God in the bible and their local dialect. Why? Because a Nigerian’s first course of action when a problem comes along is to panic in fits of prayers then find a solution after.
2. Having to trust another Nigerian
If you’ve ever gone jet skiing or canopy walking the Lekki Conservation Centre, one thing you’ll hear from most people is that they’re not scared of a bridge that’s several feet close to heaven but terrified of having to put their lives in the hands of another Nigerian. Cue the hot prayer sessions.
When a Nigerian is not prepared for an exam, you’ll know. They’ll be trying to get some last-minute cramming and in the same breath, begging God to give them a retentive memory. Because God is obviously a magician that will transport information they never read into their brains.
4. When you’re in another state and your mum calls
Whether you are 16 or 45, if your mum calls while you’re out having fun, just know that your day is most likely about to be ruined. Especially when you told her that you were going to the mall close by but caught a flight to Abuja instead. A lowkey valid reason to become extra-religious.
5. When they try edibles
It doesn’t matter if it’s their first or twentieth time, they will still react the same way. If you’re going to ask God to come and save you every time you do recreational drugs, maybe stop doing recreational drugs? Just a thought sha.
6. When they get on planes
There will always be people who spend entire plane rides praying for their lives. And rightfully so, because the last time people got close to God, he created languages and caused mass confusion.
7. When they forget to do house chores
If you’ve never been in that situation where your mum tells you to cook before she gets back and you forget until she walks in the door, how does it feel to be God’s favourite? In a time like this, praying to whatever deity you believe in is appropriate because you just might be going to meet them soon.
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