5 Things You Probably Considered After Receiving A Beating As A Nigerian Child

July 20, 2020

As a Nigerian child, our experiences as kids are more similar than expected. Almost as if we were all raised by the same people. Here are 5 things you probably considered after getting your ass whooped by your parent.

1. Running Away From Home

story of our collective lives

You’d be in the room packing up your bags like you had a bridge to sleep under. Usually, we’d realise how silly the plan mid-packing and just give up, sometimes, we make it to the door right before common sense comes knocking.

2. Am I Adopted?

yes, I am.

After receiving a life-changing whooping, we’d be stuck wondering if these people are our birth parents. Back then, doing the smallest out of character things got you a whooping so “Am I adopted?” was a recurring question.

3. My real parents are coming for me

I don’t want to be here anymore.

With the realisation that we might be adopted comes the expected “when will my real mommy and daddy come for me?” This is the biggest scam because we’d be so full of hope but our hypothetical parents never came for us. It sucks more if you looked like your mom or dad, you knew there was no escaping.

4. I will never talk to them again

Silent treatment

We always played with the option of never speaking to our parents again but the silent treatment never lasts because we caved in. All they needed to do was bribe us with food.

5. Hunger strike

 Hunger strikes never work because it usually goes unnoticed and always seem to happen when an “exotic” meal is being prepared. How can you have a hunger strike when pounded yam and white soup is for lunch.

What did you consider doing after a beating as a Nigerian child?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 23, 2020

Self-love is a concept everyone tries to run with these days, which is fine. However, some people take it to new heights. These people are somewhat self-obsessed and the best part is that they are unapologetic about it. Well, if this is you, you shouldn’t care too much about this post. 1. You, every time […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 28, 2022

Today’s subject on Abroad Life visited Seychelles in 2021 and got the shock of her life when the airport officials found out her nationality. She takes us through the ordeal she endured at the airport which went as far as digital privacy invasion and getting her passport seized, and why she decided not to leave immediately

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X