5 Nigerians Share The Ups and Downs Of Being In A Long-Distance Relationship

January 19, 2021

Long-distance relationships can be tough and tricky to navigate. There’s a lot that goes into making a long-distance relationship work such as trust, consistent communication, spontaneity and the willingness to make sacrifices.

We spoke with a few Nigerians in long-distance relationships about the ups and downs of having their partners live far away from them. Here’s what they had to say:

1. Angela, 27

Woman on cal

I don’t have a problem with long-distance relationships; I actually prefer it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we’ve only met twice. Long-distance works for me because I’m not much of a physical person. Physical touch isn’t one of my major love languages, and being apart helps us avoid fornication. This doesn’t mean there aren’t times when I wish we were together physically.

There are days when I crave physical touch and wish we’d just cuddle and binge-watch ‘The Office’. It’s our favourite show and I don’t like watching it without him. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t looking at his face through a screen and sometimes I wish he could play with my hair till I fall asleep.

But the most important thing is, we’re deliberate about the things we do and we find ways to make it work. He also comes to over to Nigeria to visit, but because of the nature of his job, not having him around is something I’d have to get used to.

2. Bayo, 24

My major problem with my long-distance relationship is that there’s always a problem with communication. Even with video calls, words and emotions get lost in translation. I also almost never know how my partner is truly feeling. She can say “Oh, I’m okay”, and really not be okay and that can cause a lot of miscommunication and tension. For me, it’s better to be together with the one you love, to hug and to kiss them every day. I can’t wait for this to end.

3. Emily, 26

Phone call

I’d never been a fan of long-distance relationships before I got into this one because I’d never found someone who I was willing to try it with. In my current relationship, being apart has brought us closer than I could imagine because we’re being very intentional about communicating very often.

There are times when I think, “What manner of punishment is this?” because everyone has physical needs, but in the end, being in a long-distance relationship pays if you’re doing it with someone who fully understands you and your needs and my boyfriend does.

4. Debbie, 28

I like the fact that being in a long-distance relationship makes us put in the work to make our relationship work. We’re constantly exchanging pictures, videos and voice notes, and talking about how our days went. It’s cute. There’s also the thing where not seeing each other makes you value each other better and enjoy each other’s company better. But those are the only good parts about being in a long distance relationship.

I’m a young woman with physical needs, you know. Who will satisfy them? And me, I cannot cheat, so I have to wait to see my man before I get any action. It could be months. It gets really lonely and it gets really boring. And when we stay apart for too long our communication starts getting strained and sore. I absolutely hate being away from my man.

5. Victor, 31

video call

I hear many people say their biggest fear in long-distance relationships is not knowing what the other person is doing at the other end but that’s not it for me. My biggest fear is that we’ll grow apart. Don’t get me wrong, there’s always a possibility that they’ll cheat, but if you’re in a relationship with someone you fully trust and you’re holding being faithful on your own end and doing your part, then there’s nothing you can do to stop them from cheating. And even they do, you break it up, move on, and don’t let it affect your future relationships. You can’t let something like that hold you down forever.

Then there’s the constant worry about your partner because you’re always having to think “Are they doing alright?”, “Are they lonely”, etc.

Two things make long-distance relationships work; a clear timeline, like “When will this end”, and constant and clear communication. I’m in a totally different timezone from my partner so we have to schedule calls and sort of book timeslots to talk to one another. It makes things more organised.

But it’s super important to realize when it’s over. Distance kills a lot of relationships and you should know when yours is done as well so you can move on and heal quickly.

Note: Names of respondents have been changed for anonymity.

Also read: 6 Nigerians On Losing Friendships After Marriage


David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X