1. How people act shocked when you tell them there’s an airport in Ibadan.
Close your mouth!
2. When you get to the airport and realise it looks like a bungalow.
What’s this nonsense?
3. You, trying to calculate the number of times you almost got killed by one of those Micra drivers.
4. You, when people talk about the brown roofs of Ibadan.
That’s my city, people!
5. When you realise you don’t have to sell one of your kidneys to pay for rent.
6. How the market women at Ogunpa look at you when you start pricing their goods anyhow.
Calm down na.
7. How they curse you after you refuse to buy anything from them.
Back to sender abeg!
8. When you tell the cab man to take you to the mall but he doesn’t get it till you say “Shoprite”.
9. How the mall at Ring Road looks like on the weekend.
Is everybody in Ibadan here?
10. You, when Lagos people complain about traffic.
Sucks to be you right now.
11. How you eat when you go to Skye Bank amala.
Who home training epp?
12. When people that live in Idi Ayunre and Lalupon start claiming Ibadan.
Don’t famz abeg.
13. When Lagos people try to diss Ibadan for being dirty.
But you people’s Ojota dustbin is there sha.