13 Signs You Are Dating An Evil Spirit

April 25, 2021

If you are in a relationship and you’d like to know if you are dating an evil spirit, here are clear signs. If your boyfriend or girlfriend does at least five things on this list, you better pack your load and run.

1. They kiss with their eyes open.

Normal people kiss with their eyes closed. If your own partner does it with their eyes wide open, they are probably gauging the best way to donate you at their monthly meeting.

2. They prefer injection to pills.

You too, think about it. This kind of person will feel no pain when it’s time to use you for sacrifice.

3. They swallow their pills without water.

Ah. Run ohhh.

4. They sleep with their legs on the wall.

They will probably call it a good way to get blood flowing, but hmmm. Nigerian Airways, evil spirit edition. Flee that relationship NOW!

5. They chew their medication.

What’s the assurance that they won’t chew your flesh when the time comes?

6. They sleep with their eyes open.

Even when they are asleep, they are still monitoring you. God abeg oh.

7. They eat Semo.

You sef. Is this flag not red enough? Is it until you see 666 on their head???

8. They enjoy avocado.

You still want to remain in that relationship, abi? Okay oh. Maybe they have initiated you without your knowledge sef.

9. They eat before brushing.

Isn’t this premium evil spirit behaviour?! How can you eat before you brush your teeth?

10. They do asfdjhjs when eating hot food.

If hot food does not faze them, don’t think your tears will faze them when it’s time to drag you to the midnight meeting.

11. They chew their swallows.

Someone chews eba and you don’t think they are from the marine kingdom?? Okay nau.

12. They snore.

They are communicating with their fellow evil spirits. BRING OUT THE HOLY WATER!

13. They don’t snore.

This one has upgraded to premium evil spirit plan. Till they will finish you, you will not know.

You better run.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 17, 2020

If your partner exhibits one or more of these dating red flags, then you should definitely have a conversation with them. 1) They are secretive about where their money goes. They are most likely funding jaapa plans without you. You have to be careful. 2) They hide their debts from you. You have to be […]

March 5, 2020

If you grew up with older siblings, chances are they were annoying as hell. Always doing the most and making the younger ones look bad. However, the leader of the bad gang was the firstborn. Here’s a list of all the annoying things firstborns do that we are tired of. 1) Hide their properties. Is […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X