Dear reader. I know you must have experienced strange signs and symptoms of the manifestations of your village people. But you are not sure, and that’s why you have come here to seek answers. This is the right place. Read through this list and identify which one is yours. Then we will talk about how to appease your village people.

1. When your destiny helper is calling you but your phone is switched off.

Village People, 1 – You, 0. The game has just begun.

2. When you pour beans inside water, put it on your electric cooker and NEPA takes light.

Pure wickedness from NEPA, right? No, dear. You are wrong. That’s your village people testing the microphone of your destiny. Village People 2 – You, 0.

3. When you borrow somebody’s dress to slay and a spirit keeps telling you to slim fit it small.

And you too, irreligious human being that you are, you gave it to Mama Njideka to slim fit it and she ends up ruining it. Village People, 3 – You, 0.

4. When you accidentally burn down your boyfriend’s apartment in the name of a candle light dinner.

In your life, when you hear romantic dinner and candle, you will run. Village People, 4 – You, 0.

5. When someone bangs on your door and you say, “Who is that mad person?”

And then it turns out to be your own mother.Village Peope, 5 – You, 0.

6. When it’s your turn to be served at a party and they say meat has finished.

Shey they should have kept quiet, but no. They still go ahead to ask you if you will eat the rice like that, which indirectly means they are calling you a…I won’t mention it. Village People, 6 – You, 0.

7. When you study leaked answers instead of reading for exams and the exam questions turn out to be different from what you crammed.

No, dear. They have not even started. This is just tospi. Village People, 7 – You, 0.

8. When you try to do “This you?” on Twitter and it flops.

When your tweet falls like a mango tree and people drag you like suitcase instead of the person you hope they’ll drag. Village People, 8 – You, 0.

9. When your Igbo girlfriend of 2 years, 7 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day leaves you for Chibuzor and Co. Transport.

Your village people switching position so they can completely annihilate your destiny. Village People, 9 – You, 0.

10. When you try to send nudes to your lover but you end up posting it on your status, and your phone dies immediately.

The cycle of destruction is now complete. Village People 10 – You, 0.



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