WTF Is Loom And Why Are People Falling For It?


May 8, 2019

On Saturday, while everyone else was eating the spoils of Owambe party rice, I was carrying out my preferred weekend activity – frying out whatever brain cells survived the week’s grind on Nigerian social media.

A few annoying GOT spoilers and some unsolicited Endgame reviews after, I came across an interesting tweet.

In quick succession, three more tweets trickled in with the word ‘Loom’ present. It appeared someone had unleashed the SEO floodgates ‘pon my timeline. So, being the eternal busybody that I am, I decided to go in search of whatever this ‘loom’ phenomenon was, and wow Nigerians, just wow. I hail.

In case you have no idea what Loom is, I’ll explain using the questions that plagued my mind as I carried out my research on what is a thinly veiled MMM plus.

What is Loom?

First off, when the name of a scheme literally translates to ‘something vague and threatening’, you already know not a lot of good can come out of it.

The premise of Loom lies in a peer-to-peer pyramid scheme that sees an individual putting in a sum of money and earning eight times the amount he put. Nothing unrealistic or too-good-to-be-true sounding about that. No Sir.

So if you invest 1000, you’re ideally entitled to a pay out of 13 000, 104 000 if the amount invested is 13 000, these amounts being the stipulated amounts to be a part of the Loom . Sound simple enough correct? Well, this leads to the next question I had

How does it work?

Because we are currently in the millenial age with our kitschy gadgets our social media, the loom scheme can be carried wherever you go, via WhatsApp.

To begin, a group is set up by an individual, he becomes the center. The more people recruited, the closer he is to getting his payout. Once this group reaches the 8 mark, he collects his pay and leaves the group, but not without first re-investing a portion of his earnings into the group.

The remainder of the group is then divided into 2, with 4 members each. They are encouraged to invite more people in to hasten their chances of reaching the sacred 8 mark, where the next center cashes out. Rinse and repeat.

What do the colours mean?

For some reason, weird colours were thrown into the mix.

The colours Purple, blue, orange and red represent the levels in the Loom, with Red representing the center. The others represent how close an individual is to get to the center.

But you know what else has those colours? This guy.

Which is what you’re going to be, should you choose to participate in this scheme.

Is it Safe?

Well, it’s safe in the way babies playing with a naked flame is safe. Like picking your teeth with a discarded needle is perfectly harmless or jumping off of a moving okada is good fun. If you missed it, it’s not safe.

Yes, there’s a high chance you cash out should you join the group in its early stages, but for this scheme to be plausible, an endless flow of people are required and it is simply unsustainable. Someone always loses in the end. Don’t let that be you

Should I put my money in?

No, absolutely not. Not only is it too good to be true, but it’s also illegal, seeing as it is a financial organisation without the required regulatory approvals. Please, I take God beg you, don’t disgrace us outside.

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