All The Times Nigerians Magically Turn Blind


June 17, 2019

There are very many things that don’t make sense about Nigeria and living in it. Like say how, despite being chock full of mineral resources, Nigerians still somehow straddle the bottom rung of the poverty scale. Or how despite growing up in and singing the praises of a famed neighbourhood in Nigeria, a certain Nigerian musician can miraculously develop an accent as unoriginal as the Ducci belts currently hanging loose on the stalls of Ojuelegba.

Yes, Nigerians have their own little peculiarities, but nothing is quite as baffling as the sudden physical disabilities Nigerians develop in situations most undeserving of them.

Take these circumstances for instance:

Do you suddenly lose the ability to look left or right when you are surrounded by beggars on the street?

Out of nowhere, you morph into Lot’s wife, suddenly unable to look anywhere but forward, for fear that some unsuspecting beggar will eye you out of that ₦50 you so desperately need.

Are you one of those people who suddenly develop a paralysis of the neck AND mysterious side-blindnesss when your risky text while driving, almost sends the driver beside you to the other side?

All of a sudden, your radio becomes and rear mirror become the most important things in this world to you. Forget the life you literally almost took because of a little risky text.

Ever notice how Nigerians become completely blind to the wrong of getting jobs courtesy nepotism, as opposed to merit once they’re involved?

Next thing you know, all talk of ‘Nigeria is corrupt’, changes to ‘Don’t question God’s blessings, plis dear’.

Can anything really beat the instant meningitis/side-blindness Nigerians suddenly develop when visiting the home of a guest who brings food for them to eat?

Their fake serious face while they pretend to not notice the steaming plate of Jollof rice and moin-moin heading their way.

You haven’t experienced peak Nigerian blindness until a Lagos bouncer opens the club gates for the G-wagon that came 20 minutes after you, while you’re still trying to bribe your way in with 3k.

Way to make a guy feel invisible!

Nigerian politicians reacting to the plight of Nigerians trying to survive on less than a Dollar a day when that third additional allowance for the month hits.

No case of selective blindness more extreme than this guys.

When does your Nigerian blindness hit?

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