For Rest Of Mind In This Country, These Are The Things We Really Need

November 24, 2018

Maybe it’s glasses or special gloves. But the thing that will let me know if ponmo is soft before it enters my plate, I need it. Fast!

Iya Moria has punished me too many times.

Anything that can make me jump traffic like this in Nigeria, please make it happen.

Let me just turn to transformer when third-mainland starts nonsense.

Maybe it’s spirit we’ll employ last-last. But Nigerians need something that’ll shout “don’t pick this call, it’s money they want to ask for” when people want to turn you to GTB ATM.

But really, won’t this be mad?

Imagine if our cars had automatic koboko for when Danfo drivers start misbehaving. No stress, you’ll be in the car and it’ll be doing its thing

Or something that can just rake keke-marwas, when they think they can be dragging road unnecessarily.

I’m tired at this point. If it’s special face-cap we can be wearing for our generators so they won’t be so noisy, somebody make it please!

As money for Mikano isn’t set.

You know what every Nigerian needs? Their own siren! Once those politicians start making noise like this, we turn it to choir meeting.

If soldier catches you, don’t bring them to Zikoko office oh!

Since mosquitoes have turned Baygon to body spray, if we could just get like automatic slappers to catch them, it won’t be bad.

If you’re feeling this say “yeah-yeah”

I don’t know how Whatsapp wants to do it, but something that can be replying my mommy automatically: “wow that’s true”,when she starts with her BCs. Quick, please.

It has reached SOS at this point!

Who can fund this? Portable lie-detector for when our mechanics want to start moving mad?

Once they start saying: “aunty na engine problem”, it will just shout: “stop lying, it’s only spark -plug”

Do you know how mad it will be if our cars could wear invisibility cloaks when LASTMA starts their nonsense?

“your license and particu… blood of Jesus”

Speaking of things Nigerians really need. Make sure you subscribe to our #GameofVotes newsletter today. We’ll be counting down all the most important things that happen in politics leading up to the elections.

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