Can We Talk About The Presidential Airport Greetings?

October 7, 2019

Nigeria is a country where many mysteries abound. Stranger move a little too close to you on the street? That could be your reproductive abilities walking away with them. Dare to pick unclaimed money from the floor? You just might be toying with being a major component of this afternoon’s pounded yam and egusi.

Genitalia thievery and human pounded yam supplements aside, there is another major mystery that just won’t let up in Nigeria – the mystery of the Presidential Airport Greeting (PAG ™ ).

You see, for a reason, I’m going to need divine guidance on, our president when travelling, totes around ministers, Governors and Special Assistants, all of whom before making the journey with him, line in front of the aircraft to congratulate? appreciate? or perhaps worship him.

I mean, take a look at this and note the people welcoming him aboard the aircraft to South Africa on October 2nd:

Notice Mr. Dollars and the guy in the red cap? Good.

Ah yes, all smiles, aboard the aircraft they all stood outside to welcome the Prez into. They’re probably happy they’re headed to a country that has light.

So let’s imagine this, they’ve spent hours on the ride to South Africa, making jokes about tissue paper or whatever TF has them so waved in front of that box. Some time has been spent learning tips from and discussing Ganduje’s Dollar stuffing prowess. Plus, Buhari has given a quick master class on working the best angles for the gram.

At the end of 5 hours, when it’s time to de-plane, do they:

a. Clap and thank God for journey mercies?

b. Line up outside the plane and welcome President Buhari, who they literally just spent five hours with, to a country they are all visiting together?

c. Oh God, it’s B isn’t it?

See your guys.

I will pay really, really good money to understand the logistics behind their filing out. Does Buhari unlook when they all stand up to ‘welcome’ him to another person’s land? Probably makes this face while everyone is getting up around him.

Then how long does he wait after they’ve all gone out? 5 minutes, 10? These are questions I need answers to, and fast.

If you have any theories, or can shed any light on this very pressing issue of the Presidential Airport Greeting ( PAG ™ ), let us know in the comments.

Boyin Plumptre

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