We Ranked Your Favourite Childhood Biscuits From Worst To Best

January 22, 2021

When we talk about biscuits from our childhood, the usual favourites come to mind: Speedy, Digestives, Pako Biscuits, Coasters, etc. But on a scale of 1-10, how do these biscuits rank?

Because those biscuits are your favourite, you might be biased in your ranking. That’s why we took it upon ourselves to do the ranking for you.

Enjoy!

9. Pako biscuit

I still don’t get the point of this biscuit, tbh. Who on earth decided that as children, the next snack to munch on is one that tastes like wood. If you were one of those who enjoyed this biscuit as a child, you’re probably a cultist now. Confess before we fish you out.

8. Fishly

This is mid, if we are being honest. It didn’t have anything ‘fishly’ in it. To me, it is a softer, tastier version of Pako biscuits. It’s a wonder how people loved it. The Spicy Fish Cake beats this hands-down, but I couldn’t find a photo online, so…

7. Digestive

The Digestive before Digestives LMAO. This is the biscuit to eat if you’re broke and hungry or you’re trying to save lunch money. Just buy two and drink a whole cup of water and your stomach will be as tight as a drum.

6. Coconut

The selling point of this biscuit was the coconut flavour. It was so markedly different from the others with that taste. But then, it’s an afterthought for most kids. A lot of us didn’t go out with the intention of getting it. We only bought it if the others were not available.

5. Biscao

I LOVE THIS BISCUIT A LOT! I often think I’m the only one who does, because I don’t usually see people as hyped about it as I am. But in terms of taste, Biscao wins. Flavour and size, Biscao wins. OK Foods was in their bag when they made this biscuit. It’s a solid 5 for me.

4. Speedy

Speedy would have been below, but this biscuit fought the good fight and satisfied a LOT of Nigerian children, even adults. In terms of look, it’s not 100%, but one taste and you’ll be willing to overlook every other thing.

PS: As an adult, it bangs with garri. Just empty it into your bowl of garri, add the remaining accessories, and enjoy a delightful taste.

3. Pepper Snack

I am sure a Yoruba man was the one who pitched the idea of this pepper-flavoured biscuit. If we calculate it, the higher percentage of people who love this biscuit will be Yoruba.

I’m not even joking. I mean, it’s number 3 on this list. That’s to show you how Yoruba I am.

2. Okin

This was the OG, the original of all originals. They dominated the market in a way that surprised everyone, but then they had a unique taste to match it. It deserves no other spot than this.

Also, can they pleaseeee bring it back?

1. Coaster

Coaster is really deserving of the number 1 spot. Yes, the biscuit has undergone severe changes in taste and quantity: First, it was 6 in the pack, and then it became 5, and then 4. I think it’s now 3, or maybe they’re getting there. Even then, we cannot deny that Coaster still reigns supreme. We stan.


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