5 Fruits That Will Embarrass You In Public

May 10, 2020

Yes, fruits are good and wonderful. But there are some fruits I cannot eat in public or when I’m visiting my in-laws. I’d rather be caught mopping the oceans instead. Here’s a list of them.

1. Orange.

Peeled Oranges | Fruit plants, Oranges

There’s no way you want to suck this thing that will ever look sexy. You end up looking deranged.

2. Mango.

Add 300 houseflies to this picture and you’ll get the angle we’re coming from.

3. Cashew.

Cashew - Wikipedia

Spread your legs, bend from your waist, push your mouth forward and then bite. Imagine doing all this in public because of one fruit with a sharp acidic taste. Not me and you, abeg.

4. Cucumber.

Cucumber - Each : Target

I mean, yes, this fruit tastes like sorrow, but that’s not the real reason why I find it hard to eat in public. The real reason is that each time I bite it, I feel like I’m a witch devouring somebody’s manhood and rendering him useless forever. That image doesn’t sit right with me

5. Watermelon.

The Health Benefits of Watermelon | Shape

Imagine eating this while wearing lipstick. The horror.

Kunle Ologunro

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 28, 2020

Did you know that it’s possible to improve your love life with food? Sending food to your lover or someone you admire can go a long way to improve your prospects and position you for premium affection. Here’s a list of foods you can use to achieve that: 1. A platter of small chops Nothing […]

October 4, 2020

Jollof wars aside, there are a number of foods Nigerians need to appreciate Ghanaians for. Thanks to Ghanaians, we are enjoying these foods, or at least a slightly different version of them. Here’s a list of Ghanaian foods Nigerians enjoy eating. 1. Waakye This one is a fave for a lot of Nigerians. The stew […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 15, 2021

At the end of the day, what is your soul really worth? A plate of food like Esau? Or you have nothing left of your soul for sale? Don’t take this quiz if you don’t like to be exposed sha, because we will find out. QUIZ: How Much Is Your Soul Worth?

May 15, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old gay man who recently discovered he is a side — a gay man who isn’t interested in penetrative sex. He talks about how this affects […]

May 14, 2021

Bolanle Austen-Peters Production, in collaboration with the MTN Foundation, is bringing the story and characters of Wole Soyinka’s Death and the King’s Horseman to the Terra Kulture stage on May 13 to 16 in eight performances. The story, which is inspired by true events, is about a king’s horseman who is prevented from committing ritual […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

More from Chopist

April 16, 2021

If you enjoy any of the fruits on this list, delete every tweet that suggests you’re broke and stop lying. 1. Strawberries Everyone that makes strawberry flavoured snacks or beverages is a dirty smelling liar. Strawberries are not sweet. They are sour as fuck. In addition to being sour, they’re also expensive as hell. So […]

March 18, 2021

One of the most thriving industries in Lagos is the restaurant industry, People are always looking for where to spend money when there is rice at home, in this economy? And on that salary? Anyways, here are a few tips on breaking into this industry. 1. Make sure it’s in a hidden location What’s fun […]

March 4, 2021

Onscreen chemistry is one thing Old Nollywood got right. Some actors and actresses just had this thing that left you rooting for them hard even when you don’t think you should be. We decided to rank the top five couples from Old Nollywood that were everything. Genevieve Nnaji and Emeka Ike I know Tony Umez […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X