Yes, fruits are good and wonderful. But there are some fruits I cannot eat in public or when I’m visiting my in-laws. I’d rather be caught mopping the oceans instead. Here’s a list of them.

1. Orange.

There’s no way you want to suck this thing that will ever look sexy. You end up looking deranged.

2. Mango.

Add 300 houseflies to this picture and you’ll get the angle we’re coming from.

3. Cashew.

Spread your legs, bend from your waist, push your mouth forward and then bite. Imagine doing all this in public because of one fruit with a sharp acidic taste. Not me and you, abeg.

4. Cucumber.

I mean, yes, this fruit tastes like sorrow, but that’s not the real reason why I find it hard to eat in public. The real reason is that each time I bite it, I feel like I’m a witch devouring somebody’s manhood and rendering him useless forever. That image doesn’t sit right with me

5. Watermelon.

Imagine eating this while wearing lipstick. The horror.