• If you intend to run for a political office in your university, we have helpful tips for you. Follow them and watch how things will fall in place for you.

    1. Start by dressing corporately.

    This is the only way to prove your seriousness. It’s a thing of dressing the way you want to be addressed. While your course mates dress like pop stars and failed Nollywood starlets, you should rock suits and leather shoes with starched shirts. Don’t mind the heat. Your ambition comes first.

    2. Choose a political name.

    Go for something short and punchy: SERENDIPITY. ASTUTE. PROVIDENCE. PUNDIT. You can shorten your government name too. Funke to FUNKY, Kehinde to KENZO, Idowu to IDOWEST.

    3. Display your admirable humility.

    How do you display this? By greeting people. Greet 100 level students, 200 level students to final year students. Greet the traders and the security men. Go out of your way to shake hands and tell them IDOWEST is the name. Let them know you’re humble, that it was humility that followed you out of your mother’s womb, not placenta. When you get into office, you will show them pepper, but not now.

    4. Organise tutorials.

    Coaching Senta with my stubborn kid. very hilarious #lizzyjayskits # omoibadan - YouTube

    Wahala for politician that does not know how to organise tutorials oh. Omo, it’s a give and take business. You need votes, they need knowledge. Demand meets supply. You don’t even need to know book. Just gather them together and confuse them with vocabulary and stories of how lecturers are evil. When you’re done, tell them, “Don’t forget to vote IDOWEST. IDOWEST is the name.”

    5. Now, work on visibility.

    How do you push yourself in people’s faces? How do you make your name their chewing stick? Odikwa very simple.

    a) Pally with course reps and beg them to add you to their class group chats. When you’re there, kill them with motivational quotes. Eg: When you perspire to aspire, you rewire to refire and require to retire. IDOWEST wishes you a lovely day.

    b) Print stickers and paste them everywhere: cafeteria, bus and taxi cabs, on trees, on buildings. IDOWEST welcomes you back on campus. IDOWEST wishes you a fulfilling second semester. IDOWEST says you should not choke on your food. IDOWEST cares for you.

    6. Your manifesto should be something bogus.

    Bogus = something you know you can’t achieve. Promise to renovate the university library. Promise that in your tenure, the dress code will be reviewed to allow students wear show-me-your-back and coloured attachments. 100 level picnic will be held at Eko Hotel. Nicki Minaj will be at the final year dinner. The idea is to dazzle them. Start with “Of the greatest gba-gba.” If they respond with “Gba!” then you’re on the right track.

    7. Of course you will win.

    And that’s when you will show them the true you. Who or what that “true you” is, it is up to you to decide. But we know you’re not a good person. No dey disguise for us.

    Valentine’s Day is long past, but this one will make you laugh:

    10 Ways To Celebrate Valentine As A Unilorin Student

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  • If you are planning to get married soon or you know a couple who has plans to, do them a favour by sending this to them. Nigerian weddings need to have a revamp.

    1. Asking people to wear what they want.

    Nigerian lace dress styles in 2019 ▷ Legit.ng

    In other words, ditch the aso ebi completely. Just give people a colour and let them wear their own thing. Don’t start an aso ebi franchise on top of a wedding ceremony.

    2. Grooms men picking money.

    Nigerian Traditional Grooms & Groomsmen

    Please and please, normalise groomsmen picking money. It should not be the work of the bridesmaids alone. Both of them have two hands, and what is good for the goose should also be good for the gander.

    3. Couple eating proper food at the reception.

    And we mean proper food. Not just a bite of cake, after which they will sit down and stare at the guests devouring food while they languish in hunger.

    4. Couple leaving guests at reception to go have some quality time.

    Moment Over-Excited Groom Grabbed His Bride's Breast While Kissing at Their  Wedding (Photos)

    Body is not firewood, please. Normalise couples leaving their guests alone so they (the couple) can have quality time together.

    5. Normalise grooms men catching the bouquet.

    Let men hustle for their own romantic futures too.

    Have you read this?

    10 Food Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Marriage


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  • Inflation (and bad governance) is seriously flogging Nigerians. Food items that used to be cheap and very affordable have suddenly become expensive and scarce. Now, we are being forced to seek supplements for these food items or avoid them altogether.

    If you have any of the food items listed below, know that you have escaped poverty. Just do giveaway.

    1. Onions.

    ONION HARVEST BEGINS IN KATSINA - Nigeria Farming, Nigerian Farming, Africa  Farming, Agribusiness Marketing in Nigeria and Africa, Nigerian Farming  Online Magazine, Agriculture News

    The sudden scarcity and high cost of onions is now making people question its importance in food. What flavour does it add? Any health or nutritional benefits? Country don hard.

    2. Rice.

    Border Closure: We Can Produce Enough Rice To Feed Nigerians - Rice farmers  | Nigeria Newspaper - Latest Nigeria News paper

    This keeps skyrocketing. And Nigerian rice is really the ghetto of ghetto, but what can one do? This is why it’s very annoying when you consider that some people in power are hoarding rice and using it as birthday dash.

    3. Turkey.

    Buy Frozen Turkey Online from the Market Food Shop

    Frozen food generally. Fish has become something else, what then shall we say of turkey and chicken? I often wonder how large families are coping in these difficult times.

    4. Tomato paste.

    China 5kg Tomato Paste 28-30% Concentration Gino Paste De Tomate - China  5kg, Tomato Puree

    This one won’t cease to surprise me. One day it was N50, and then N70, and before we could say #EndSARS, it had already jumped to N100 and N150. I have deliberately stayed off cooking anything that will need it. Let me respect my financial impediment and maintain my lane.

    5. Palm oil.

    A bottle of this used to be around N350, N400, depending on your location. It has jumped by a few hundred nairas. Let’s not even mention vegetable oil.

    See ehn, if you have any of these foods at home, you are wealthy.

    12 Things To Snack On If You Work From Home

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  • Bone straight wig has been causing wahala on social media. And so, being the generous people that we are, we thought, “How can we help our readers become empowered enough to create their own bone straight wig?” After a series of consultations with beauty experts far and wide, we got enough insight to share.

    To create your own wig at home, here’s a list of the things you need:

    1. Wig cap

    Generic Wig Cap With Mesh Closure For 3 Pieces price from jumia in Nigeria  - Yaoota!

    This is the cap you will wig your weave on, so it’s of paramount importance. You can opt for a thicker one if you want.

    2. Needle and thread.

    To sew the weave-on on the cap. Ask the seller for wig needle. It looks like this:

    C Shape Needles For Wig Making - 3 Pieces | Konga Online Shopping

    3. Bonding glue.

    7 Types Of Make-Up Artists To Avoid | Zikoko!

    To gum the hair on the wig cap. You will need it for the closure, so that it will look like the wig is from your scalp. Needle and thread cannot achieve such perfect finish.

    4. Actual hair.

    Image

    The actual hair is the reason why everything is expensive. But don’t panic. The plan is to make a bone straight wig at a cheaper price, so we came up with really affordable alternatives that won’t tear your pocket.

    a. Expression attachment.

    What happened to X-pression Hair Attachment? | by Funmi TJ | Medium

    Shebi you see that it is straight.

    b. Darling Superstar attachment.

    Hair attachment brands in Nigeria – Businessamlive

    When you finish the wig and people ask you how it’s so full and bouncy, tell them it’s Bone Straight Deluxe. Wahala for who no sabi shortcut to slaying.

    5. Weave-on to do closure.

    Miss Rola Human Hair 2pcs Straight Celegant Fashion

    After gumming and sewing the attachment on the wig cap, closure is what remains. This is where the weave-on comes in. You need just small to close up the front. You and your friend can contribute money to buy one and share it. Put the bonding glue on the wig cap and place your weave-on pieces on the glue. Now brush it until it aligns with the attachment remaining part of your bone straight wig.

    6. Hot water.

    Epic in hot water over Steam-scraping code – Naked Security

    After wigging your weave, you will dip it in hot water to bring out the silkiness. It also makes it softer and closer to real hair. Your haters don’t know anything.

    7. Pink oil.

    Perfect finish. Rub it on your bone straight wig and watch it shine like diamond. Brush the wig until it starts to bounce and you are ready to slay like the diva that you are.

    Na mumu dey go boutique.

    We have done our best, but if you are hell bent on spending close to 200k that you don’t have on a wig, this one is for you:

    7 Things You Can Sell For A Bone Straight Wig

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  • Animals are important to Nigerians in their food. Major source of protein and a nice way to garnish food. That’s why they keep going out of their way to try new animals. If you cook any of these six animals, you’re guaranteed to taste something different, unexpected.

    1. Turtles

    The person who ate this said that it tastes just like chicken. But he boiled it, I think, while Ayo The Creator’s own is grilled. If it tastes like chicken, does it mean if you grill it, it tastes like grilled chicken and if you fry it, tastes liek fried chicken? And really, if you want chicken, why not just eat chicken?

    2. Snakes

    This straight up tastes like fish. I heard this from my friends who have eaten it. And when I was in secondary school, a girl brought it as part of her food, cooked with rice and egusi soup. Egusi soup makes things better, apparently.

    3. Crocodiles

    Ayo The Creator posted a mukbang video where he dismantled this animal with a friend and I can’t stop thinking about it. From what I’ve seen, the meat is tender, almost like chicken, not as tough as what you might expect.

    4. Camels

    I know people eat and enjoy this. It’s just not my cup of tea. Someone reviewed it by saying it tastes like chewing gum. If you want to be wowed, google camel stew.

    5. Cats

    Apparently, cat meat is a big deal in Vietnam and some parts of Africa too. The animal is shaved and burned to remove all fur before being cut up and fried with garlic. It is referred to as “little tiger.” Some Nigerians claim it tastes like chicken.

    6. Dogs

    The advice from someone has eaten this before is to, “try cooking dog meat with our local dry gin (ogogoro).” According to this person, this is when you’ll know what you are missing. “Plese don’t put water, just the gin and enough scent leaves. Now serve it with sweet palm wine. Oh my my my.”

    Who’s willing to try?

    Don’t go yet. We have something else that will blow your mind:

    8 Unbelievable Things Nigerians Actually Eat

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  • Working from home can easily be the best thing or the worst thing to happen to a person. It depends on the working conditions. One simple thing that improves working conditions is food. Because we love you, we came up with this list of things you can snack on while working from home.

    1. Plantain chips

    HOMEMADE PLANTAIN CHIPS | Precious Core

    You can buy this in bulk. We don’t recommend making it from home (unless you know what you’re doing).

    2. Prawn crackers

    Prawn Crackers Recipe - (3.7/5)

    Simple and easy to make. Can also help you get off the work table when you need to fry another batch. A packet costs N250 or N300.

    3. Pop corn

    Best Stovetop Popcorn Recipe - How to Make Popcorn

    This also works well. Just don’t be tempted to watch a movie while you’re supposed to be working.

    4. Chin chin

    How To make Chin Chin: Nigerian Famous Snack, Recipes & Procedure

    This is economic and very rich in taste. It is also completely filling.

    5. Meat or fish.

    10 Food Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Marriage | Zikoko!

    Can be sourced from your pot of soup. Wahala for who no get self control.

    6. Groundnuts

    Roasted Groundnut: Refreshing and enriching snack | The Guardian Nigeria  News - Nigeria and World NewsBusiness — The Guardian Nigeria News – Nigeria  and World News

    This also works. You can add other nuts: cashew nuts, pistachio nuts, etc.

    7. Grapes

    Red Grapes – Tambula

    The best way to incorporate fruits into your diet, if we’re being honest.

    8. Apple slices

    Canned Apple Slices In Water White House

    An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

    9. Toasted Bread

    Toasted bread Recipe by Emunahskitchen - Cookpad

    This is very filling. You might not even need to eat lunch.

    10. Biscuits

    Buy Parle Festo Milk Shortcake 65 g in Nigeria | Biscuits & wafers |  Supermart.ng

    Biscuits are cheap and available in different forms. All you have to do is make a pick.

    11. Bread

    If you have butter, jam, Nutella or peanut butter, you’re good to go.

    12. Raw garri

    Zambia want make Ghana teach dem how to make garri - BBC News Pidgin

    A simple way to save your money, if we’re being honest. If you have sugar and ice block, you can even drink it to hold stomach.

    BONUS:

    a. Sweets

    Buy Kopiko Coffee Candy Sachet 150 g in Nigeria | Sweets & chewing gum |  Supermart.ng

    We also recommend Choco Milo

    b. Wine

    Viv Red Wine Glass + Reviews | Crate and Barrel Canada

    Just don’t get drunk. You have KPI to meet.

    10 Foods That Will Improve Your Love Life


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  • This week, I tried to make a list of all the soups in Yoruba land. I learned two things from that exercise: 1) That Yoruba people don’t have soups at all, and 2) That a ranking of Yoruba soups was long overdue. Join me as I rank them from worst to best.

    7. Obe Ata

    This, to me, has to be weakest soup from Yorubaland. Basically pepper and oil that cannot be enjoyed without adding draw soup. Even when you try to eat it with rice, e get as e be. This obe ata in particular needs to do better.

    6. Bitterleaf soup.

    I honestly think Yoruba people cannot cook bitterleaf soup as good as other ethnic groups. This is why it’s not so common in Yorubaland. When they do cook it, the soup doesn’t really measure up to expectations. But it’s still better than Obe Ata, so it ranks higher.

    5. Waterleaf Soup.

    This is one highly underrated Yoruba soup. Waterleaf soup is really elite and it hurts to see it being ignored in the long list of Yoruba soups. For me, it beats bitterleaf soup and Obe Ata easily, There’s no two way about it. Did I also mention that it goes well with any swallow? The range.

    4. Marugbo.

    I tasted this for the first time in Ondo state and I wanted to eat it forever! It’s the Yoruba equivalent of black soup and I don’t know why this queen isn’t on our plates more. The taste is super amazing, and it goes well with pupuru and fufu. The blackness might put you off a bit, but one taste is all you need to convince you. Shoutout to Ondo people for offering this elite dish.

    3. Ila Alasepo

    You might be wondering why I didn’t rank ewedu and plain okro. Simple answer: they are not standalone soups. They need Obe Ata to function. Ila Alasepo can stand on its own though and that’s what makes it so worthy of this number. Cook it well and fill it with enough animals and it easily beats all the soups on this list. Wahala for who no dey chop okro oh.

    2. Egusi

    Egusi is a Yoruba soup that changes taste with new additions. Add ugu and it gives a different taste; add efo soko and you get another taste; add waterleaf and you get another taste. That versatility is not easy to come by. And it goes so well with rice, so that’s why it’s at number 2. Igbos can fight me all they want, but I believe Egusi is purely Yoruba. Convince me with proof please.

    1. Efo Riro

    This has to be the best thing from Yorubaland. No cap. No other tribe can make efo riro as good as Yorubas. Quote me anywhere because I said what I said. There’s no doubt that it should rank number 1. It’s a versatile soup with a wide range. Add egusi and you get something else, cook it with Obe Ata and something new comes up; cook it with stew and yet another thing. No other soup comes close.

    What’s the best Cola drink to ever do it? Is it Coke or Pepsi or Bigi Cola or RC Cola? Here’s our ranking:

    We Ranked Cola Drinks From Worst To Best

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  • Chopping life in Asaba (or anywhere else for that matter) depends on the amount of money you have. But if you have just 2k and you want to chop life on a low, here are some hangout spots in Asaba you can try. Remember, chop life according to the size of your pocket.

    1. You can get a plate of pepper soup and beer at 1 Side Bar

    Nigerian Goat meat pepper soup

    1 Side Bar is one of the cool hangout spots in Asaba. It is located at 1, Sandi Acha Memeh Avenue, Off Mariam Babangida Way, Asaba. And yes, their pepper soup slaps.

    2. 2k can buy you 2 shawarmas at New Heights Bar.

    A Love Letter To Shawarma | Zikoko!

    Sure, there are shawarmas that cost more and have more fillings. But 2 pieces of shawarma for 2k is a fair deal, if we’re being honest. New Heights Bar is located at 43 Okpanam Rd, Central Area, Asaba.

    3. One meal at any of the restaurants in Asaba Mall.

    The Rodinia Restaurant, Asaba

    And it’s not the kind of food you will eat and regret. 2k will get you food that will delight your stomach.

    4. You can also get a movie ticket, a drink and popcorn at the Cartege Cinemas or Genesis Cinemas.

    Hangout spots in Asaba: Cartege Cinemas, Asaba
    Photo: Afiaanyi

    This depends on the day. To access this kind of deal, you have to know how their schedule work so you don’t set yourself up for premium disappointment. Cartege Cinemas is located at Plot 7, Phase IV, Opp. House of Assembly, Okpanam Road, GRA Phase I Asaba, Nigeria.

    5. And if you just like plain ol’ shopping, then visit the Shoprite at Asaba Mall.

    Asaba Shoprite Black Friday Deals: Hangout spots in Asaba
    Photo used for illustrative purposes.

    2k will get you a decent amount of groceries. But now that there’s inflation, well… anything your 2k can buy, take it like that.

    Looking to explore new places? Here is something for you:

    19 Places In Port Harcourt That Will Definitely Confuse You


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  • Infidelity in relationship is a serious thing. That’s why we came up with these helpful tips to test your partner’s faithfulness. Don’t thank us, we’re only looking out for you.

    1. Set them up with a new person.

    cheating-nigerian-man » Naijaloaded | Nigeria's Most Visited Music &  Entertainment Website

    But of course you will not be present in the grand scheme of things. Just orchestrate an encounter and leave it like that. If your partner and the ‘tester’ end up knacking, then you know that partner belongs to the streets.

    2. Whenever you go out, ask them what they think about other people.

    “See that babe. Don’t you think she looks cute? You like her, abi?” Watch their reaction. An unfaithful partner will start unravelling because they think you don’t care.

    3. Create an anonymous social media account and flirt with them.

    Image

    Do all you can to make them fall. Once they’re in your trap, reveal your true identity and say this: “Femi, I knew it all along that you are unfaithful. Look at you cheating on me with someone you’ve never met.”

    4. Refuse to communicate for two weeks.

    See if they make the effort to chase after you. If they love you, nothing will be too much for them to bear, not even your ghosting.

    5. Randomly accuse them of cheating.

    How To Prevent Nigerian Men From Cheating On You | Zikoko!

    Do it well, burst into tears and you’ll see how they’ll confess.

    6. Always ask them if they’re still in contact with their ex.

    The Nigerian Lover's Guide To Cheating Respectfully | Zikoko!

    Believe me, e get why. A lot of people in relationships want to eat their cake and have it.

    7. If you both have been sexual, tell them you have decided to be indefinitely celibate.

    How To Prevent Nigerian Men From Cheating On You | Zikoko!

    That’s when you’ll know they’re in it for only the sex.

    I should warn you though. If you take my advice and lose your true love, you will have yourself to blame. I’m single and looking for others to join me in this loneliness. Do with that information what you will.

    Patience Ozokwor has always been an EVIL woman when acting, here are 7  photos showing her flip side ▷ Tuko.co.ke

    Love and light.


    [donation]

  • The #EndSARS protests was a defining period for Nigerians. Although the protests were majorly sustained by the desire to see justice prevail and a complete end to police brutality, a lot of other factors helped in the continuity of the nationwide protests. Some of these factors include feeding, logistics, and medical services. We spoke to some of the people who volunteered as medical personnel during the protests.

    Femi

    I volunteered on Thursday, 15th of October, at Alausa, Ikeja. Usually, I work a 72hr shift in my hospital. Three days on, three days off. On my off days I’m usually at home kicking back with African Literature after working out in the morning. I would have rested, but it’s impossible to rest with SARS on our streets. The protest was a way of expressing our displeasure and demanding change, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to be.

    The day before, on Wednesday, I was at the protest but I couldn’t find the medical team. So, on Thursday, I decided to volunteer as a doctor at the protest. As it turned out, there was a medical team on ground. They had always been on ground. But because I was caught up in the crowd on Wednesday, I didn’t see them. When I joined on Thursday, we worked together.

    We attended to a man with head trauma, a few patients with ankle sprain and we treated some bruises. Generally, the presence of the medical team at the protests gave the people more confidence to come out en masse because whatever injuries they sustained, we would be there to help them and if critical, we move them to a nearby facility. That provided some sort of reassurance for the protesters.

    I have managed far worse cases but being at the protest grounds using my knowledge to help the protests forge on was really fulfilling. It’s one of the moments I don’t think I would ever forget. I wasn’t doing it for money or praise. I was doing it because there was a glimmer of hope and I was using my medicine to keep that hope alive.

    Damola

    I volunteered in Ilorin. That’s where I live. I’m not in the medical profession; I’m a baker and if the protests didn’t take place, I would have gone about my daily business of baking cakes and catering. But then the protests happened, and I felt the need to do more, so I volunteered as a paramedic. There was an ambulance and a medical team on ground, so no one was injured during the protest. The major work was distributing glucose and water to the protesters, and I assisted in this.

    UPDATED: Photos, videos of on-going #EndSARS protest

    The whole experience made me feel proud, like I was a part of something bigger than me. In my own little way, I was contributing to making Nigeria better. Volunteering was the voice I had, my own way of speaking out so the death of those killed by SARS officials won’t be in vain. I’m glad I defied my uncle and went out for the protests, and if the opportunity to volunteer at any #EndSARS protest shows up again, I will step forward.

    Temitayo

    I protested in Ibadan on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. That is 13th, 15th and 16th of October. It wasn’t exactly comfortable. I was preparing for an exam, so I took some time off work and study. Having an exam to write would have been a perfect excuse not to volunteer, but I can’t stand oppression and injustice, so I decided to lend my voice and expertise to the protests. Dr Folu George, the MD of Total Family Specialist Hospital, in conjunction with some other health workers, put together a medical team to be at the protests ground. I joined at the inception of the team.

    The team was made up of medical doctors, nurses, pharmacists, medical laboratory scientists, physiotherapists, medical students. The doctors managed the medical cases and referred when necessary. The physiotherapists managed cases involving musculoskeletal injuries e.g sprains. The nurses helped with drug administration and measuring the patients’ vital signs. The medical students helped out with patient care, coordinating the crowd and also the smooth running of operations. The pharmacists also helped with sorting out our drugs for easy dispensing and use. The scientists helped with blood samples and tests. Dr Folu George provided all the necessary materials and the ambulance. She sorted our feeding and logistics too.

    I saw patients majorly. I managed medical cases ranging from lacerations, abrasions, fingernail avulsion, musculoskeletal injuries. Many of the injuries were sustained from falls. People sat on cars, and when the brakes were applied suddenly, they fell. If I were to describe it, I would say the presence of a medical team at the protest gave some form of reassurance. And we were welcomed and treated well. Some of the protesters helped pave way to ensure we weren’t stuck in the thick of the crowd.

    It felt good to be able to play my part in this movement. Being there gave me a renewed sense of hope for Nigeria. Silence on important matters is no longer the norm, injustice and oppression can no longer be condoned. The failures of the government are being openly challenged and criticised, and all these point to a disruption of the flawed and corrupt status quo. I hope like a phoenix, Nigeria will rise again from the ashes of oppression, bad governance, injustice, and corruption.

    [donation]