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  • Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

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    Since 2013, the subject of this week’s #NairaLife has worked for her brother’s publications as a writer, manager, HR and never earned more than ₦100k a month. If she could do it over again, she’d never work for him. But that’s just one of her many regrets.  

    Tell me a bit about growing up

    I’m the third child of four children. My dad was a civil servant who worked as an engineer, and my mum was a teacher. We weren’t wealthy, but we also weren’t poor. My dad was a strong believer in going to school and getting jobs after — not business. So we went to good schools and lived in a nice small estate. After school, I went to my friends’ houses to play. That’s just how stuff was. 


    As a child, I was obsessed with books. They even used to call me “Information Minister” because I knew something about everything. I was sure I wanted to work in the media in some way. 

    Did this affect what you studied in university?

    I didn’t even go to art class in the first place. I was in commercial class, and by the time I figured that we didn’t do literature in commercial class, it was too late to switch. I finished secondary school in 2003, but I didn’t go to university until 2005, at 18 years old. Even then, I had to restart university in 2006. 

    I have so many whys

    I couldn’t get into a federal university to study Sociology and Anthropology in 2004 because of my low JAMB scores. In 2005, I applied again and also didn’t get admission, but for some reason I don’t know, I told my dad I did, packed my bags and went to resume. 

    Resume where ma?

    When I got to school, I didn’t see my name on any admission lists, but I didn’t want to go back to Lagos. I was tired of staying at home. 

    I called my dad to tell him I hadn’t been admitted, and he came to school to see a friend in the school’s senate who could help me get admission. The best the person could do was get me in to study a foreign language. I took it. But I wrote JAMB again sha.

    The next year, I got in to study international relations in the same school. 

    What was money like for you in this period?

    My dad paid my fees and gave me between ₦5k and ₦10k monthly as allowance till he passed away in 2009. My mum handled the family’s finances after that. She sold plantain chips, shoes and did other businesses on the side to augment her teaching salary. 

    Thankfully, my older sister, the firstborn, had graduated, and my older brother and I graduated a year later. So she didn’t have to spend too long worrying about multiple children’s fees. 

    What does an international relations student do after they graduate?

    I went for NYSC in a South-South state — the first big mistake of my career. 

    Why?

    I believe if I’d redeployed to Lagos, my life would be much different now. I’d have started my career with a job at an actual organisation and built a professional network, and that would’ve put me on a different path in life. 

    Instead, I stayed in the south because I wanted to experience a new place. This was 2011 when there weren’t so many job opportunities in places outside Lagos. I’m sure it’s different now because people can easily find jobs online, but back then, there just weren’t many opportunities. 

    How were you getting fed?

    My NYSC teaching job paid ₦5k monthly. NYSC had also just started paying ₦19,800, so that was pretty great too. I could save most of my money because I lived with a friend’s family that fed me. 

    I sha tried to build my career from there because I didn’t want to return to Lagos skill-less. I took a physical bead-making class for ₦15k, and a project management course where I had to go for classes on Saturdays for a few months.  

    Did you get anything when you got to Lagos?

    I returned in June 2012 and just chilled at home till December. Then I made another career mistake.

    My older brother had to go abroad on a government-funded scholarship because he finished with a first-class degree. But he’d always wanted to own a business since we were kids, so he decided to set up something, and he involved me. 

    What’s that?

    An online platform that shared viral fashion, pop, breaking news and gossip content. I thought it was something I could do, so we started in January 2013. 

    By watching videos online, I learnt how to distribute content and use WordPress. So I wrote articles and shared them on social media. My salary was between ₦5k and ₦10k monthly, from money the company got from Google AdSense when our articles got views. 

    Between January and June, we added two more publications. One was for sports, and the other for entertainment. One of my siblings even quit their job to come and be the writer for the entertainment publication for a brief stint. 

    So, family business?

    Exactly. Two years into the business, we had to get additional writers because I couldn’t do all the work on my own. So, in addition to writing, I had to train new writers, edit their work and manage the company. My brother was in the UK all the while the company ran, so it was all me running the day-to-day. 

    That year, my salary increased to ₦25k, and then ₦50k. But in that same 2014, I had another of my biggest career regrets. 

    Tell me

    Business with family can be funny like that. My brother had returned to Nigeria, and we got into frequent arguments concerning business operations. He’d always complain that I wasn’t doing enough when he wasn’t even actively involved in the running of the company. Whenever we got into an argument, I threatened to leave the company. One time, I left, and God, I wish I didn’t return. 

    Why did you?

    The thing is, I was too comfortable. I’d been working from home all along, so I didn’t have many responsibilities, I heard that finding jobs was difficult, and I was working with family. Also, I lived on the outskirts of Lagos, and commuting would have been challenging.

    After a month, I went back to work. Again, big mistake. It just meant I was getting more and more stuck.

    In what ways did this happen

    By 2015, the major publication we started with was growing, and the company was making money from ads. At this point, we’d gotten a workspace and 10 employees. 

    I had to grow into my role as the managing editor, head of operations and HR. I was the one that put out applications, interviewed people, hired and onboarded them. At this point, my brother had left the company in my care because he got a really good-paying job offer. My salary was still ₦50k. 

    For all of that?

    Somebody call HR… Wait, that’s you

    2016 to 2017, I started feeling stuck. I knew my career wasn’t growing. It’d been seven years since I graduated, and I was earning ₦50k. Writers that had zero job experience came to the company, got trained by me, stayed three to six months and left for much bigger companies. I was lonely because I couldn’t be friends with my coworkers who I was meant to be managing, and I was working a lot, so I didn’t have time to have a social life. My esteem was so low.

    But it felt like there was an internal battle going on in me. While I was feeling all of this, I also felt obligated to stay in my brother’s business and help it grow for the family’s sake. So it was just difficult. 

    There was even a short period where I sold second-hand shoes and bags to coworkers, siblings and church members. It didn’t work because I’m just not built for selling. I think I got it from my dad.

    2017 again, another incident happened that felt like a sign that it was time to leave, but I didn’t. 

    I’m listening

    We got a proper office space for the first time. We’d bought furniture, internet, set up everything. It was exciting. The night before we were meant to move in, I was scrolling on Twitter when I saw there was a huge fire somewhere. The address looked familiar.

    A factory close by caught fire and our new office space was among the collateral damage. 

    You know when they say something is burnt irredeemably? We couldn’t pick out one item from the place the next day. 

    That’s horrible

    It felt like a good time to leave to find something else. Not because the company wasn’t going to continue running, but just because it was a significant event that meant I could take a step back and assess my options. But because of the fire, it also felt like a bad time to leave. 

    So I stayed and worked on the new idea my brother had — an online platform that focused on women in Nigeria. Women’s news, health and wellness, relationships, fashion and lifestyle content. My brother was sure it was going to be a hit because it was niche, specific content, and we didn’t know anyone doing stuff like that. 

    Was it a hit?

    Yes. We got sponsored posts and ads, and it grew fast, but it just meant more work for me. I was now overseeing three publications. 

    In June 2018, I was tired and overwhelmed, so I took a one-month break from work. That month, I applied for jobs, but nobody was going to hire me. 

    My only work experience was from my brother’s company. I mean, I’d done a lot of good work, but my CV was a reflection of my esteem, so it was poorly constructed to seem like I’d done nothing. 

    See, it was a terrible month. I got so many rejections. I began to think of all the people I’d trained who were doing so well. I thought of my mates from university. They were doing well. I was so overwhelmed with sadness, I just returned to work in July. 

    Was anything different?

    The publication for women did a content partnership with a top Nigerian bank. That felt fulfilling. It pushed my salary to ₦100k by December. 

    Also, my brother had moved abroad, so all our interactions were now online.

    That same December, my brother and I had another fight because he still felt I wasn’t doing enough, and I left the company again.

    For good?

    Nope. Let me just say here that my brother is the best brother anyone can have. He’s always been my biggest supporter — even financially. In January 2019, my CV was better because he’d helped me edit it and added that I worked with the bank too. I got job interviews this time, but nothing clicked. 

    By April, the publications weren’t doing well because I wasn’t around, and the writers could do what they wanted — like not publishing on time or at all — so my brother decided to shut things down completely. Instead of watching him shut it down, I decided to take complete ownership of the women’s online platform. We gave the writers a few months’ notice that we were ending things, and I became the sole owner and writer of the publication.

    But again, I made a mistake. 

    Oh dear

    We didn’t discuss finances. So I “owned” the company, but he still handled the financial aspects. So money for sponsored ads was still going to the company account, but I was being paid a ₦60k salary. 

    That’s how most of 2019 went. In October, a popular international news agency launching in Nigeria reached out to my company on Twitter for a content partnership. At first, I thought it was a scam, but when I saw other Nigerian publications announcing partnerships with the agency, I decided to give it a try. 

    How did it go?

    I got to the office, introduced myself, and people were excited to finally know the person behind the publication. Someone even took a picture with me. Me o. It’s not like I was hiding my identity before. I’m just not the type of person to constantly talk about my work publicly. So seeing people react like that was a confidence booster. 

    The deal was that they were going to pay ₦15k per article for 15 to 20 articles a month for three months. After that, we’d discuss whether to renew. 

    Sweet

    A week before we finalised the deal, I rejected a ₦50k monthly job offer from an NGO I applied to as a comms intern. They also were willing to increase the pay to 100k after three months and make me a full-time staff.

    Why?

    I thought the news agency contract was good enough and that it was going to be renewed. Taking the NGO job would’ve meant I was tied down to it, instead of having time for the news agency contract. 


    After three months, the news agency didn’t renew the contract. They couldn’t keep paying so much money to so many partner publications. 

    By the end of those three months, I had ₦400k in my account. That was good money for me. But I started regretting rejecting the NGO job. I would’ve gotten to work somewhere else and maybe begun to network and build my career. 

    Instead, I was back to square one — writing for the women’s publication, earning ₦60k and feeling stuck. 

    2020?

    Terrible year. I fell into a deep depression. I was so lonely, I had to go live with my younger brother. There weren’t even any work events to go for. At least, there, I’d see people and network, even for a short period. I considered freelance on Upwork and Fiver, but no luck. Being a beginner — someone who’s never done any work on these platforms — makes it difficult to find jobs. People prefer to hire freelancers who have “experience” on the platforms. 

    What was happening with the publication?

    I was still working on it. 

    Life was frustrating. People that knew me on the surface level thought I was doing okay financially and enjoying my career. 

    Has anything changed since then?

    In 2021, I got a six-month contract job for an international NGO in Switzerland. I applied for a content role, but the job turned out to be a community manager role. The pay was ₦100k. By December, I was ready to quit because the company culture wasn’t the best. This was my first job as a community manager and I don’t think my manager was patient enough. But my friend advised me to stay. By January, they fired me. They said they saw I was struggling to fit in. It pained me that I didn’t quit first. 

    Also, sometime last year, I did a ₦3k per article job but stopped after one month because they only paid after 10 articles and still took out taxes.

    Other than that, I’ve been focused on my publication. I’m in the process of taking over completely, finances and all. We’re sorting out documents. 

    How do you think things would’ve turned out if you’d left earlier?

    I feel I would have had better friendships and relationships and even gotten married if I had switched jobs. It feels like the years are just passing by, and I’m in the same spot. I feel alone professionally, financially and emotionally. 

    But I’m also sending CVs out because I desperately need a job. I’m also currently looking at a career switch to product marketing/management. I’m taking online courses and looking out for internships. 

    But I also think my life has been a lesson from God, so I can advise younger people around me to get jobs first before they jump into entrepreneurship — just so they understand what starting a career feels like. 

    How much do you make on an average month?

    Like ₦60k. On some months, my siblings send me money. 

    What do you spend money on in an average month?

    What’s something you want but can’t afford?

    Rent money. My younger brother has moved to the UK, so when our rent here expires later this month, I have to pay. 

    And your financial happiness on a 1-10 scale?

    Let’s say 4. At this stage of my life, I should be earning more. I just need a big break.

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  • If you’re not a wicked person, you’ve probably considered getting a dog. I didn’t say pet o. Dog. Those animals are so adorable, loyal and harmless, everyone should have one. Yes, they’re harmless. If a dog has ever attacked you, it’s because you went somewhere to steal, full stop. 

    But if you do own a dog, you should take care of it like it’s your child. No, seriously, the vet will register it with your surname. My first dog ever, a beautiful purebred German Shepherd, was named Rocket Odunlami. 

    Now, I need a break to cry about losing Rocket after she had her babies. It’s been 12 years, and I still haven’t recovered. 

    If you have a dog, or are thinking about getting one, these are the things you absolutely must do to be a responsible owner.

    Research

    You can’t just wake up and walk into a store to buy a dog. Is everything okay at home? (I mean this both literally and as an insult). You need to know if it’s the right time for you to get a dog. Are your finances stable, or are you still fighting sapa? Maintaining dogs is expensive o. 

    Also, what breed are you getting? Some breeds need space to run around, and you want to get one in your Lagos apartment where two people can’t lie down at the same time? Please, come off it. 

    Feed your dog well

    “A healthy dog is a happy dawg”, or whatever Wole Soyinka said. Why is your dog’s main source of feeding leftovers from parties? Is that what you eat? Can you give your child leftovers to eat? 

    I cannot lie, this tweet made me laugh. But no, garri is not dog food. 

    Asides From Dog Food, Here Are Other Things You Can Feed Your Dog

    Register your dog at a vet

    You, you have HMO, but you don’t want to register your dog at a vet. Does that make sense? Don’t you know your dog can fall sick? Or that it needs regular checkups, vaccinations and vitamins? Let’s be responsible going forward, please. 

    Train your dog

    Train a dog in the way it should go. You don’t even have to teach it tricks. Just regular communication training is very important for your relationship with your dog.

    Also read: 16 Hilarious Dog Memes You’ll Completely Relate To

    Also, potty train your dog

    Especially if you live in a shared space. You need to train your dog to know where to use the bathroom. Imagine your neighbour has a bad day, and as they walk inside the compound, they step on dog shit. They should fight you, for real. Oh, and if your dog poops somewhere it’s not meant to, pick up after it. 

    Groom your dog

    This involves regular baths, clipping nails, brushing teeth and cutting hair. Don’t let your dog turn to Ojuju Calabar before your own eyes, please. 

    Don’t let it harm people

    Protect your dog and people around you by avoiding situations where your dog attacks innocent people.  Use a harness and be observant. Imagine you’re going on a walk with your partner and a random dog attacks you guys. You go like am?

    Love your dog

    Dogs need care and attention. You need to spend time with them, taking care of them. Let them socialise and make other dog friends too. 

    Don’t bring harm to your dog

    Don’t beat or maltreat your dog. Don’t abandon them. Don’t put them in tiny cages. Just don’t be a dick, okay?

    Lastly, give your dog a Nigerian name

    We can’t still be naming our dogs Jack or Jill. It’s giving neocolonialism. What happened to Odinaka? Or the Igbo name, Maximum Protection.

    You’ll also like: 7 Things No One Tells You About Owning a Dog

  • The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

    If we told you how many visa denials the subject of this #AbroadLife got in the space of two years, you probably wouldn’t believe us. Here’s how he managed to get his study visa to Poland.

    Also, The Polish love semo.

    When did you first decide to leave Nigeria?

    When Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) wanted to finish me. Before I even go too far, let me just say I appreciate the type of parent my mum is. I was depressed in OAU, and instead of being the normal Nigerian parent that just wanted their child to go to school, she sat with me and talked about changing schools.

    What did OAU do to you?

    Those lecturers were terrible, man. They just wanted to flex and show people that they were gods and nobody could pass their classes. The teaching was terrible, and even when I read and wrote the exact thing they taught in the exams, I saw terrible grades. I tell my friends who are still there they’re strong. Me, I couldn’t do it. I was just crying. 

    So I tried to leave in 2018 when I was in my second year, and I got admitted to a school in Canada, but my visa was denied because of financial reasons. Then I tried to leave in 2019 for a school in the US, and after writing my SAT and getting a 50% scholarship, I still had to pay about ₦4 million yearly. My mum is a civil servant, and she couldn’t afford that, so I had to look for more affordable countries. 

    My options were Mauritius, Rwanda and Poland. After doing my research and talking to friends who schooled in Poland, I decided to go for Poland. Besides, I didn’t even want to school in Africa. 

    Why not?

    Should I call it PTSD? I just imagined lecturers in other African countries would be exactly like Nigerian lecturers. I wanted a total change of environment.

    What made Poland enticing?

    I found out that many young people in Poland speak English. That was a good start. Also, tuition is pretty affordable. I went from studying industrial chemistry in Nigeria to studying computer engineering here, and the tuition fee is the equivalent of ₦1.6 million a year. That’s what people pay for Nigerian universities which, I’m sure, are not as good as schools here. Also, I was planning to move to the capital, Warsaw, and heard from friends that students could easily get jobs. That was good enough for me. 

    When did you start the process?

    2020. I found a school, got admitted and paid my fees, ready to go and start my new life in Poland. That’s when wahala started. I didn’t get an appointment for my visa interview on time. 

    Let me tell you the process for booking visas during the COVID period. Everyone trying to get a visa to Poland from about five countries had one number to call within a five-hour period on one day, once a week. If you failed to get them to pick your call, you’d have to wait for the next week. So I, my agent, my girlfriend and friends tried for three weeks until we got an appointment. 

    You might think three weeks is a short time, but because I “delayed” so long, I didn’t get my visa. 

    How?

    Student visas take exactly one month to process. My appointment date was October 11, 2020, and school was meant to resume on November 10. So shortly before my visa appointment, the school reached out to me to find out if I was coming, and I told them I’d get my visa one day later than resumption because it was difficult to secure a date. By November 11, my visa came back denied. The reason was simple — the school reached out to the embassy to say I couldn’t make resumption, so they should deny me. 

    If you see the tears I cried. I couldn’t even appeal the process because my school, which was meant to be the organisation sponsoring my visa, had said I couldn’t come in. The school was polite about it when I reached out, but they couldn’t do anything about it. 

    Omo. Did you get your money back?

    Yes. Thankfully, they returned it in euros, and we made like ₦400k extra selling it on the black market. 

    Sweet

    January 2022, we decided to try again. This time, it was to a private school, so the fees were a bit higher. We gathered all the money we could to show proof of funds, but they denied me again. Their reason was that I didn’t show enough funds. So my mum went and gathered more money again to put in her account, and when we reapplied, they denied me again. 

    Same reason. Not enough funds. 

    Ah

    At this point, most people would give up. I kuku never dropped out of school, so I could just finish in Nigeria. I even considered it. We’d wasted like ₦1m on application fees and logistics. I remember my mum and me sitting one day and just crying together. Then she asked me what I wanted to do, and I decided I was going to try a school in Mauritius. We agreed that that was a good plan. 


    The next day, she came and said we should try Poland again. We were going to give it our all to make it work. Thankfully, I hadn’t lost the admission, and I didn’t want to start classes online, so I just deferred to September. 

    Oh, by the way, I was still with my agent that started the process with me in 2020. But at this point, we’d become friends. She was pretty great throughout the entire process. When I eventually got my visa, she left her balance of over ₦100k with me because she knew I’d been through a lot. We’re still pretty close, and I still recommend friends to use her services. 

    Did you get your visa this time?

    It was February when we restarted the process. I didn’t get an appointment till late August. 

    Whoa. Why?

    Same reason. We couldn’t get a call in in time. 

    Please tell me you got this one

    LOL. Nope. This one was my school’s fault. The school doesn’t have enough hostels to accommodate every student. So students get into the country and don’t have a place to stay. This time, the embassy wasn’t having it, so they were denying people who had been admitted to the school but didn’t have their personal accommodation sorted. 

    Now, this denial could have been avoided. Some random guy on a group chat of Nigerians who were trying to go to Poland I was on had reached out to me and told me to sort out accommodation before I got my visa appointment. He knew the embassy was shutting people who didn’t have accommodation out. To avoid this, I reached out to a friend who stayed in Poland and sent them ₦100k to help me rent an apartment. This person sent a fake landlord agreement and ran away with my money. 

    Na wa o

    After this denial, I decided to try one last time since I knew everything I needed. I reached out to another friend who paid for an apartment for me with her own money pending the time I got in and reapplied. This time I got the visa. 

    Finally

    When my agent called me to tell me I’d gotten the visa, I was on a danfo on my way to church. I just started crying. The woman beside me was worried someone had died, but I told her it was because I was leaving the country. 

    You’re not scared of village people

    LMAO. I bought my plane ticket almost immediately and left. I remember getting a haircut on the day I was leaving, and having my mum follow me to the barber’s shop because I didn’t want any random issues with SARS on my last day in Nigeria. 

    Expectations vs reality: Warsaw edition

    I expected it to be cold, so I wore a jacket. Bro, it was colder than I could ever imagine. And winter hadn’t even started when I landed in November 2021. I remember crying in the car when my friend picked me up from the airport. Everywhere looked so clean, calm and organised, unlike Lagos. 

    So you moved into the apartment she rented for you?

    Yep. That’s where I still stay.

    Living alone in a new country. What’s that like?

    Difficult at first. I had to learn some Polish so I could interact with older people and buy things. It was also difficult adjusting to things like keeping to time for buses and holding my bus card. They do these random checks where, if you’re not with your bus pass, you have to pay zł160. For context, when I first got here, that’s how much it cost me to eat in a month. One time, I forgot it at home and they caught me, and after all the begging, I had to pay. 

    Chai

    But food here is cheap sha. You can get 2kg of potatoes for the equivalent of ₦500. African food is what’s expensive as fuck. Also, the polish eat semo. Not as African food o. As their own dish.

    They’re cancelled. Tell me a bit more about the Polish

    They don’t smile. They’re not angry o. They just won’t smile with you. In fact, they’re always frowning. Don’t expect a friendly face in Poland. It’s only when you interact with them and become their friends that they’ll smile with you. 

    Also, there are a lot of elderly people here, and they all carry one type of bag. I don’t understand it. One more thing: These people party and drink a lot. A lot! Drunkenness isn’t something to be ashamed of. You know how, if you go to a Lagos party and get wasted to the point where you’re puking and passed out, it’s embarrassing. Not here o. It’s just normal. 

    LMAO. How’s school?

    Studying abroad is not as easy as people say it is, but it’s more forgiving. If you fail, the lecturers give you more chances to learn and retake classes until you pass. That’s what happened to me when I was still settling. I’m already in my second year, and I have two and a half more.

    Do you think you’ll stay after school?

    At least until I can get my PR, yes. I’m already working and making good money, so why not? 

    Where do you work? 

    At a bank. My first job was at a packaging factory. I only did it for a day. I had to stand for eight hours. When I got home, amidst all the paper cuts and tears, I called my mum and told her I couldn’t do it again. My second job was as a game tester. I did that for four months, then I got a customer service job before I got this bank job. Now, I can comfortably save for next year’s tuition and live a good life. 

    What are your plans for the future?

    When I get my PR, my babe and I will move to an English-speaking country together to settle down.

  • Thousands of Nigerians live with Alzheimer’s Disease, and a good percentage of them are undiagnosed. You’ve probably heard people say Alzheimer’s is the same thing as dementia. This isn’t true. Yes, Alzheimer’s and dementia are related, but it’s only because Alzheimer’s is the most common type of dementia. 

    A few facts

    1. Alzheimer’s isn’t a result of ageing. It’s actually a disease.
    2. Anyone can get the disease, but it’s more common in people above 65 and people with family histories of Alzheimer’s.
    3. The symptoms start slow, and worsen with time.
    4. Doctors can look at symptoms and conclude a person has Alzheimer’s, but can never be sure until after a person dies and they look at their brain. 
    5. People experience the disease differently. Some live longer, with little cognitive damage, while others experience a quick onset of symptoms and rapid disease progression.

    What does having Alzheimer’s look like?

    You might forget things a lot, but it doesn’t mean you have Alzheimer’s. These are the major symptoms people with Alzheimer’s show:

    1. Memory loss. This gets worse over time. 
    2. Trouble doing simple tasks, like turning on a gas cooker
    3. Inability to solve simple daily problems 
    4. Trouble with speech or writing
    5. Becoming disoriented about time and places
    6. Mood swings and withdrawal from friends and family
    7. Poor personal hygiene

    How can you prevent Alzheimer’s?

    Because scientists haven’t put a pin on the exact cause of the disease, it’s difficult to say how to prevent it. But here’s what they recommend: 

    1. Protect your head: Avoid activities and sports that put your head at risk of being hit. Constant head trauma could lead to Alzheimer’s.
    2. Keep your brain challenged: Apparently, people who remain intellectually and socially active are less likely to develop Alzheimer’s. Learn something new, read a book, go out. 
    3. Stop smoking, and reduce alcohol.
    4. Eat a lot of fruits and vegetable, and less red meat.
    5. Exercise.
    6. Go for regular checkups.

    Could you be at risk of having Alzheimer’s?

    Again, experts don’t know the specific cause of Alzheimer’s, but they advise people to be watchful and talk to their doctors if:

    1. They’re above 65
    2. They have a family history of Alzheimer’s
    3. They smoke
    4. They have depression 
    5. They have a cardiovascular disease
    6. They’ve had a traumatic head injury

    Alzheimer’s is in stages

    According to experts, these are the stages someone with Alzheimer’s will go through. 

    Source: Healthline

    Is Alzheimer’s treatable?

    There’s no specific treatment for Alzheimer’s, but doctors prescribe medications to slow the progression of its stages. People with Alzheimer’s need a lot of love and care around them. 

    You might also like: All You Need to Know About Donating Sperm in Nigeria

  • No need to argue online. This quiz already knows your favourite Nigerian amapiano song.

    We’re not lying. See for yourself.

  • In secondary school and university, the one thing people always used to insult me about was that my hair stayed the same level no matter how long I kept it. But these days, when my friends see me, they wonder how my hair managed to grow.

    How did I do it?

    I just asked around and read stuff online. And forced my babe to buy products for me. 

    Here’s some stuff you can do to make your hair grow longer, and we’re not even capping. 

    First of all, know that your hair grows

    Except you’re completely bald or balding, you should know that your hair actually grows. It may seem slow or stagnant, but that’s just because it’s breaking all the damn time. It’s not the witches in your village, bro. It’s you. Hair needs moisture to grow. 

    Dryness causes breakage

    If you want to keep the growth, it’s a crime to let your hair ever stay dry. Use a leave-in conditioner all the time. No, they’re not expensive. You’re just not ready to grow your hair. When you’re ready, you’ll get products for your hair.  

    Stop letting your hair tangle

    When your hair tangles and you have to comb it out with the force of a thousand angry igbo women, it breaks. If you have coconut head, and you still let it tangle, comb it out with care — make sure it’s wet and soft before you start.

    Make your hair

    This one is very important. Always put your hair in protective styles. Your hair is probably long enough to make something, or use attachment if you have to. Making your hair helps retain moisture, avoid breakage and stretch your hair out. If your mum won’t let you, cut her off. 

    Invest in hair products

    Keep your hair made for a couple of weeks, and use your moisturising products while it’s braided. When you take out the braids, shampoo and condition it thoroughly. You’ll need to get a shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner, scalp treatment, spray bottle and some oils. You can use coconut oil, olive oil, castor oil and some essential oils too. Bro, just walk into a hair care shop. None of that vaseline shit, please. And learn to use them right.

    Don’t wash your hair every day

    Washing your hair every day is just you washing out the products and some of your scalp’s natural oil. Be calming down.

    Drink water, and eat well

    You know the water you were going to use to wash your hair every day, drink it instead. Drinking water helps your hair grow. Drinking water does everything, to be honest. Just drink water. Also, a good diet helps your hair grow faster. If you have money to buy vitamins, no wam.

    Sleep with a durag

    When rappers in the 90s were wearing durags everywhere, you thought they were crazy. The next time you put your moisturised hair on a pillow just like that, I hope someone wipes your neck with a USB cord. That’s how your hair becomes dry, and you get pimples. Always wear something on your head before you sleep. 

    Massage your scalp

    For about 10 minutes every day, just massage your scalp. It helps blood flow. I’d have said you should tell someone to help you, but you’re lonely, LMAO. 

    Ask people for help

    No, but for real, if you need advice on products and best practices to use, don’t be afraid to ask the natural hair baddies around you. They’re always ready to help.

    Follow a routine

    Washing, conditioning, braiding, moisturising, etc. You should have a simple daily routine for all these things. As Blaqbonez said, consistency is the best thing. 

    Don’t use harsh products

    Some dyes, relaxers and hair creams are bad for your hair. Once you try a product, and you notice it makes your hair dry out or feel weird, stop using it. 

    Also Read: 6 Things Every Nigerian Man Desperate To Grow A Beard Has Tried

  • Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    Bamboo is the easiest way to access smarter investment options and earn real returns. Invest in the biggest companies on the US Stock Market or earn up to 8% with Fixed Returns. Download and start investing today.

    In 2018, the pro gamer on this week’s #NairaLife won the first-ever FIFA competition he played. It paid ₦100k. Since then, he’s represented Nigeria in Côte d’Ivoire and Israel, and has made up to ₦5m in one day playing FIFA.

    When did you start playing video games?

    Omo, I’ve been gaming since primary school. I’m the last born, and I have two older brothers who had the PS1 and PS2 when they came out, so we were always playing games at home. There was Street Fighter, Pro Evolution Soccer, FIFA, Lord of the Rings, Wrestling and so much more. 

    Obviously, I started out chopping Ls from my brothers, but I got better as I grew older because I played a lot. 

    Let me guess: Your parents complained?

    Ah, they did. I made sure I played every game until I was able to beat every difficulty level. So I started with the easiest and kept playing against the computer until I could defeat the most difficult level. 

    As you can imagine, it required a lot of playing, and my parents didn’t like it. In primary school, when exams were approaching, they seized the consoles so I could focus on reading. When I got into secondary school in 2008, they sent me to a boarding house, and sometimes seized the games when I was home on holiday because I wasn’t “socialising”. 

    I didn’t ask about your earliest memory of money

    Throughout boarding school, I got ₦1,500 per month to spend at the tuck shop. 

    When did you start playing competitively?

    2014. University —

    Wait, what did you study?

    Electrical and electronics engineering. I wanted to study computer science because I liked games and computers, but my dad thought engineering was broader and would give me more opportunities, so I studied that instead. 

    What I actually wanted to be was a footballer. 

    But…

    There aren’t enough opportunities for young people who want to be footballers in Nigeria to make it. I played for my primary and secondary school, and played a lot of football in university. I even joined a semi-professional football team outside school to better my chances. But someone on the team tried to scam me because he thought I was an omo butter who just had money to give away. Like many other young Nigerian boys, the dream sha faded away gradually. 

    I feel you. Back to 2014

    Many guys in university had games on their computers. I did too. Naturally, we started playing FIFA against one another, and it was obvious I was much better than most people. When you beat plenty people on FIFA, you become the person everyone who thinks they’re good wants to challenge, so I quickly became popular on campus. People from different hostels came to face me. I lost a few games, but nobody ever consistently beat me. If you beat me once, I’d beat you back multiple times. 

    During tradefairs, we did betting games. Everyone in a group of 16 people would drop ₦1k and the winner would take all. I won plenty times, and me and my guys just used the money to flex. That’s just how things were until I won my first ₦100k in 2018. 

    Tell me about it

    May 26, 2018, the day of the Champions League final. I can never forget. There was a competition somewhere in Lekki that my friend told me about. It was free to register and the winner out of 64 people would get ₦100k. I was scared to register because I didn’t believe in myself like that, but my friend persuaded me. 

    The competition was played in knockout format: two people would face each other, the loser is out, and it keeps going like that until there are only two people left. I only had to play five games without losing. God, I was so happy when I won the money. For the first time, I considered myself world-class and decided I was going to play FIFA professionally. 

    Love it

    I used the ₦100k to buy a PS4 so I could play better, and play online. 

    What about school?

    I was on internship at an oil company during that period. The pay was ₦40k, the same amount as my monthly allowance in university, so it just felt normal. 

    That same year, I went for another competition in November. This one was more popular and had about 128 competitors who were all pro gamers. I paid ₦2k to register. I’m not making excuses o, but I know I didn’t play my best because of tension. I got knocked out at the round of 16. 

    You tried

    LMAO, thanks. After I graduated in 2019, I went home, bought a router and started playing online so I could sharpen my skills. Then I heard about a company that organised gaming competitions and started going there. It was more competitive, so I didn’t win every time. I remember coming second at one big event, and I was interviewed by journalists, but there was no cash prize. I sha kept playing tournaments until I won a big one. 

    Which?

    National qualifiers for an event in Côte d’Ivoire. I won to represent Nigeria. 

    Wow

    Not just me sha. The second and third position from the competition also went to Côte d’Ivoire. 

    Did it come with money?

    Nah, just an all-expense-paid trip. 

    How was the competition? 

    There were about eight countries, and almost 200 players. Other countries brought more than three players. Côte d’Ivoire had more than all countries combined. I finished in the final eight — quarter-finals. 

    How did that feel?

    I felt bad because I dominated the game I lost, but somehow, I still lost. I knew I deserved at least a semi-final spot. It was also reassuring to get that far in the competition. Remember that tension I felt when I played pro gamers in Nigeria? Everything disappeared. I returned to Nigeria and started winning competitions. That same year, I won ₦100k, ₦50k, another ₦100k, another ₦50k and $1k. 

    What did your parents think about your gaming career?

    They didn’t know much about it because I didn’t want them to. You know Nigerian parents. Even when I went to Côte d’Ivoire, I didn’t give them too much detail. They knew I was travelling, but it was just, “Oh, hope the people you’re going with are trustworthy. Be safe o.” It was only in December 2021, when I won big money, that I told them. 

    No spoilers, please

    LMAO. From January to September 2020, I worked as a support engineer at an IT company for ₦30k monthly because of NYSC. Also in January, some company reached out to some of the best players in Lagos for an invitational where they paid us ₦20k per game, as a thank you for accepting their invitation. I played three games and won the competition. The prize for winning was ₦50k, so I made a total of ₦90k. I added ₦90k to it and bought an iPhone in February. 

    Most of 2020 was just online competitions because of COVID. I won many of them, but also came second and third sometimes. Late 2020 though, an annual LG gaming competition that takes place across different Nigerian states was held, and I won the Lagos one. The prize was an LG TV worth about ₦700k. I sold it for ₦680k. 

    Love it

    In 2021, LG did a grand finale with the winners from all the states in the 2020 competition. I came second and won ₦500k while the winner won ₦1.5 million. I used the money to buy a PS5. I also interned at a fintech for a few months. Pay was ₦80k monthly.

    Then in November, I represented Nigeria in Israel for the World Esports Championships. 

    Ehn?

    There’s a yearly world tournament organised by the International Esports Federation, but because there were no qualifier games, they didn’t have anyone to represent Nigeria. So they just reached out to me.

    How did you do in that one?

    It wasn’t straight to knockouts. They first put us in groups, and then, if you qualified from your group, you got to play in the knockouts. In a group of four people, only two could qualify. Well, I didn’t qualify from my group, but I don’t feel bad about it because the two people who qualified went on to be winner and runner-up of the entire tournament.

    Ah!

    I sha got to travel and meet new people, and that’s what matters. 

    LMAO

    In December, there was another competition. People flew in from places like Abuja to Lagos to play. One guy, a proper pro, even came from Dubai, so you can imagine the tension in the air. 

    In the quarter-finals, I faced the guy who came from Dubai, and that was by far the toughest game of the competition. It took one tiny mistake for me to beat him. The other two people I faced weren’t as tough, so I won the competition. 

    How much?

    ₦5.4m. 

    This is the one you told your parents about?

    Yep. My dad started calling me “big boy”. He didn’t believe. I sha gave him and my mum ₦100k each as a token for their love. 

    Did anything happen in 2022?

    This year, I’ve won two ₦500k competitions and another LG TV, which I sold for about ₦300k. 

    How much have you made from FIFA in your life?

    I don’t have a specific figure, but it should be at least ₦15m. Apart from the competitions, there are one-on-one betting matches I play. Recently, I won ₦2m in one sitting because someone came and said they wanted to bet ₦500k per game. I won all four games. Over the years, there have been countless ₦100k betting games too. 

    Have you ever lost a bet?

    Just one game. It was online. I don’t like playing online because of lags, and I let the guy know. Like I predicted, network was bad and he beat me, so I just paid him his ₦20k and didn’t play further. 

    Any future plans?

    I want to take my career to the next level. I’ve won in Nigeria so many times that when I show up at a competition, people say stuff like, “Oya, give him the money. He has already won.” Many excellent players in Nigeria challenge me, but I want to take things to the next level.

    Recently, FIFA made Nigeria eligible for the FIFA Global Series (FGS), so I’m looking to qualify for it. If I do, my rank will go higher and I’ll eventually be eligible to play in official FIFA competitions. So I’ve bought 5G internet, and I’m grinding to get better. I also live stream my games.

    Recently, many organisations have been working to make the gaming ecosystem in Nigeria much bigger and better. Some Google-backed companies organise competitions, and the cash prizes are getting bigger. So even though I’m trying to go global, it’s still a great time to be a gamer in Nigeria. 

    What’s one thing you want but can’t afford right now?

    To move abroad, so I can participate in the FGS. Even though it’s coming to Nigeria, I know internet lags would probably happen because the closest FIFA server to us is in Spain. Being in Europe gives an advantage. 

    What are your finances like right now?

    I have like ₦1.2m in savings, $200 in forex trading and $500 in crypto. 

    Where did the ₦5.4m go?

    I don’t keep all the money I win o. I have to settle my guys. I probably keep about 60% of whatever money I win. But also, I’ve bought some stuff this year.  

    I got a gaming chair for less than ₦100k, and I’m pretty sure I’ve spent nothing less than ₦500k partying and drinking this year.

    What do you spend money on in a month?

    What’s your financial happiness on a 1-10 scale?

    It’s like 7. I have money I can use to get whatever I want at any point in time, and I don’t have to be in an office. I just make money playing FIFA. That’s amazing. 

    What if FIFA doesn’t work?

    I’m sure it will, but I’m also learning how to program just so I have an extra skill. 

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  • There’s no English Premier League this weekend because mummy UK went to meet her maker, so instead of wasting your time on Twitter, take this quiz to test your ball knowledge.

    QUIZ: Can We Guess the Football Club You Support?

  • Nigerian mothers are always complaining about their sons not getting married on time, so we’ve decided to ask young Nigerian men how old they think the right age for marriage should be. 

    “I’m ready, but I’m not ready.”

    — Cephas, 23 

    I’ve been in this relationship for about four years now, and I’ve always been sure she’s the one I want to marry. If it were up to me and I wasn’t considering the reactions of society, I could marry tomorrow. There’s been pressure on me from my family and friends to marry too. I’m also nearing financial stability in some way. But honestly, marrying this young as a man feels weird. Me, I want to, but tell me, have you ever seen a 23-year-old guy in Nigeria get married? I’m thinking 25 makes more sense. I think I’m ready mentally and emotionally, and almost ready financially. But it’s just the age that’s a bit weird to me.

    “I have a lot of shit to try.”

    — Komi, 23 

    Let’s say between 28 and 30. I feel like that would be the point in my life where I would be at my most financially stable. I also want to explore my sexuality with stuff like BDSM and role play, make questionable life choices, and do all the necessary years of therapy to a point where I feel fully comfortable being a husband and father. I’m not getting married until I do these things.

    “30 is too much pressure.”

    — Teslim, 22

    There’ll be too much pressure on me to get married when I turn 30, so I’m targeting 27 or 28. Also, I don’t want to be raising kids as an old man. Let me start young, please. 

    “Once I have enough money to feed myself and four other people, it’s time.”

    — Pablo, 22

    I want to marry before I turn 25 because I want to start my family very early. I’m not the type of person that wants to use their youth to chop life first before I marry. It’s just not me. The only reason I’m not even married right now is that I’m still hustling. If something clicks for me and I get financially stable next year, it’s time for marriage, I promise you. 

    “My plan used to be 28, but omo.”

    — David, 25 

    28 is in like three years. Ah, financially and otherwise, that doesn’t seem likely anymore o. I’m now optimising for 30. It feels like that’s when people get in the phase of their lives when they’re no longer hustling for a career or money. I feel like I’d be more settled then. Also, my parents got married at 30. I’ll just follow their footsteps and assume they know something I don’t.

    “I’ll be 24 in six years. Seems doable.”

    — Kenny, 18 

    Honestly, I just don’t want to be old with really young kids to worry about. And I want to have a daughter. It’ll make me so happy.

    Also Read: How Much Do Nigerian Men Need to Earn Before Getting Married?

  • Last week, we wondered what it would be like for Nollywood actors to be our coworkers. This week, we’re reimagining Nigerian musicians. If you were joining Zoom meetings with Wizkid on a daily basis, what would that look like?

    Davido

    He’s the one who comes to the office and acts like everyone is family. No forming, no nothing. Just pure vibes. He’s one of the best at his job, but he’s not a dick about it. He’s always inviting people to go out on Friday and buying drinks. He’ll stay at the company for a long time even though people try to poach him with more money, because he’s just loyal like that.

    Ayra Starr

    She’s the Gen Z who prioritises her mental health over everything else. You can’t rush her to finish her work or put her under any kind of pressure. She’s not afraid to call anyone by name and give them back hot hot when they mess up. If you try to reach her after close of business, that’s your business.

    CKay

    He finished with a first class from school, so your boss quickly sent  him a contract before NYSC. Now, people hardly ever see him at the office, but whenever he works on a project, just know it’s going to be fantastic. How does he do it?

    Naira Marley

    Nobody knows how he got the job. Nobody. People believe he was hired just for diversity in the company because he just doesn’t fit the general vibe. He’s always speaking Yoruba, coming to the office smelling like weed and having questionable people visit him. He’s also always on probation.

    Yemi Alade

    She’s that person who’s been working since she was 18. She has worked at all the top firms and you can tell the CEO brought her in for her experience. She’s obviously not on the company’s salary structure. You can tell she earns much much more than everyone. But that’s your business. But she’s good vibes sha… if you ever catch her outside work.

    Wizkid

    The co-worker you only see when the company has meetings with big clients. He’s the best at what he does, HR is doing their best to make him comfortable so he doesn’t have any reason to leave the company. He comes to the office once in a while, does one mad presentation and disappears. He’s the official star boy of that firm and people always use him as an example to new hires.

    Asa

    This is that co-worker who finished with first class in both her undergraduate and master’s degree from Harvard. Overall best and most dilligent. She blends in with everyone because she can switch from British English to Yoruba in seconds. She was hired even though she didn’t do NYSC. She’s also on track to be the youngest departmental head in the history of that office

    Flavour 

    Office fine boy who comes to the office straight from the gym. Everyone wants him to be thier office husband. . You can see his six pack through his white shirt. He exudes confidence effortlessly and all the office mummies fuss over him. He’s also the plug for the most happening hangout spots for TGIF.

    Teni

    You know that coworker who’s just never ever serious? That’s her. Even if the company is on the verge of going bankrupt and layoffs are looming, Teni will still drop out-of-pocket stickers on the office WhatsApp group. 

    Don Jazzy

    He’s the office’s fave uncle. The one that goes on official assignment and buys something for everyone. All the corpers meet him to sign their CDS forms because he’s the only oga that won’t ask when last they came to work. He’s also the main dancer at every office Christmas party.

    Simi

    Office gossip. If you want to spread gist about someone, just tell her and then tell her not to tell anyone. The entire office will hear it before the close of business day. 

    Wavy The Creator

    Nobody talks to her, she doesn’t talk to anyone. She just comes in, does her work and goes home. 

    Also Read: How Much Would Nigerian Musicians Cost if They Were Professional Footballers?