Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Sunkanmi* (27) and Ife* (25) met in 2024 at a hospital in Lagos.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about how a hallway conversation turned into a business partnership and a relationship, why mixing professional massage sessions with personal attraction created tension, and how boundary issues with clients threatened everything they’ve built together.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Sunkanmi: I met Ife at a hospital in 2024. I work in the physiotherapy department there. I noticed when she came in with an older woman one afternoon. A colleague handled their case, but from across the room, I immediately liked her. She looked pretty and exactly like my spec.
I watched from a distance, trying to find a way to talk to her without making it obvious or coming across as unprofessional.
They needed directions to another part of the hospital, and someone was already explaining how to get there. But I saw my chance and jumped in. I said I was heading that way and could show them the route. It wasn’t entirely true, but I wanted to talk to her, so I made it work.
Ife: I remember that day clearly. I was there with a family friend — an older woman whose children had relocated abroad. I’m a masseuse, and I used to give her body massages. She’d been complaining about severe knee pain, so I brought her to the hospital to get it properly checked out.
When Sunkanmi offered to show us the way, I didn’t think much of it. I was just happy someone could help because we were a bit lost.
Right. What happened during that walk?
Sunkanmi: I tried to get to know her a bit. I asked questions and made conversation. That’s when I found out the woman wasn’t her mother but a family friend. I also learned she was a masseuse, which I found interesting. When we got to where they were going, I asked for her number. While I didn’t want to come across as forward or aggressive, I also didn’t want to let the opportunity pass.
Ife: I gave it to him. I didn’t want to seem rude since he’d been nice enough to help us. But I also wasn’t expecting much from it. From my perspective, it was just a polite exchange.
Did you reach out immediately, Sunkanmi?
Sunkanmi: No, I didn’t. I didn’t reach out for weeks. Another lady I had been talking to at the time started paying me more attention, and I got distracted. Ife kind of fell to the back of my mind.
Ife: , I’d also forgotten about him. Weeks had passed, and I’d moved on with my life. So when he eventually reached out, it was a surprise.
When did he reach out?
Ife: I can’t even remember if a month or two had passed. But one random afternoon, I posted a session from a client’s massage on my Instagram story, and Sunkanmi replied. He seemed genuinely interested in what I do as a masseuse. He asked questions about my process, my techniques, how long I’d been doing it, and what kind of clients I typically work with. The conversation flowed naturally, and then he asked if he could book a session. I didn’t immediately connect him to the guy from the hospital weeks ago until he reminded me. Then it clicked.
Sunkanmi: I work in physiotherapy, so wellness and body care are something I understand and appreciate. But I’ll admit, I also wanted an excuse to see her again and spend time with her. Booking a massage session seemed like the perfect way to do that.
Ife: I was a bit cautious, to be honest. When a client, especially a male client you don’t know very well, requests home service instead of a neutral location, you have to be careful. You never know what their intentions are. But I’ve developed my own ways of protecting myself in those situations. I let trusted people know where I’m going and when I should be back. I keep my phone on me at all times. I share my location. I trust my instincts, and if something feels off at any point, I leave immediately, no questions asked.
Sunkanmi seemed harmless enough from our interactions, and I needed the business, so I agreed to go.
Right. What was that first session like?
Ife: It was professional. I came, did my work, and left. He was respectful throughout. We talked a bit during the session, but it was mostly small talk. Nothing particularly deep or personal.
Sunkanmi: That first session confirmed what I’d already suspected. Ife is very good at what she does. She’s professional, she knows her craft, and she takes it seriously. I respected that. But I also enjoyed being around her. So I booked another session. And then another. That’s how we started getting close.
At what point did things move from being just professional?
Sunkanmi: By the fourth or fifth session, there was definitely a shift in the dynamic between us. We’d been talking more between sessions, texting back and forth about things that had nothing to do with massage or physiotherapy. We were sharing things about our lives, our backgrounds, our families, and what we wanted for our futures. During the sessions, we’d have deeper conversations rather than just the usual small talk. I’d already started having feelings for her at that point, and I could sense there was something on her side, too. There was a tension in the room during those sessions that wasn’t there before. A kind of awareness of each other that went beyond professional.
Ife: I noticed it too. I was single at the time and starting to see Sunkanmi as more than just a client. But I was also trying to keep things professional because that’s how I operate.
Sunkanmi: I’ve always toyed with the idea of running a wellness centre. It’s been a dream for a while. And I loved how professional Ife was about her work. I’ve always wanted a woman who shared my dreams and my vision, so it was easy for my attention to shift fully to her. The other situation I’d been in just faded out.
I see. So when did things become official between you?
Ife: We had sex before we made things official. It happened naturally one evening after a session. The tension, which had been building for weeks, reached a point where neither of us could hold back anymore. After that, we talked about what we wanted, and we decided to make it official. That was in July 2024.
Sunkanmi: By then, I knew I wanted to be with her. We’d already started talking about the idea of working together to build something in the wellness space. It made sense to make the relationship official and see where we could take things personally and professionally.
Sweet. Tell me about the early days of your relationship.
Sunkanmi: The first year was really good. We did a lot of things together. We travelled when we could afford it, went out to nice restaurants, and spent quality time together outside of work. Beyond just the relationship, we also started building something professionally that excited both of us. We began running a side hustle as wellness experts. I handled the medical side of things, using my training and experience to advise clients on recovery, muscle care, posture correction, and more. And Ife handled the massages and body care, the hands-on therapeutic work. We were making good money, building a client base, and it felt like we were creating something sustainable together. It was working really well.
Ife: We were on the same page about everything. The business was growing, clients were coming in, and we were making money doing something we both cared about. It felt like we’d found the perfect balance between love and work. But things changed eventually.
What happened?
Ife: We started having issues. I noticed that Sunkanmi doesn’t draw boundaries with female clients the way I think he should. I don’t mean just being friendly or maintaining good customer service; he’d text them late at night or entertain conversations that had nothing to do with business or bookings. He was overly accommodating in ways that made me uncomfortable. I brought it up multiple times, tried to explain why it bothered me, but he kept waving it off. He’d say he was just building his client base and maintaining relationships, that this is how you make sure clients come back.
Sunkanmi: I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. In business, especially in the wellness and service industry, you have to be available for your clients. You have to make them feel valued and cared for. That’s how you build loyalty. That’s how you get repeat customers and referrals.
I was responding to messages when they came in, being friendly and personable, making sure they felt comfortable reaching out to us and booking with us again. That’s just good customer service in my mind. I wasn’t trying to be inappropriate or cross any lines. I genuinely thought I was just doing what was necessary to grow our business.
Hmmm.
Ife: The breaking point was toward the end of 2025. A couple booked Sunkanmi for a weekend staycation. Just him, not both of us, which was already unusual. I’d had reservations about this couple because they always had weird requests. Things that didn’t sit right with me. Requests that seemed to push the boundaries of what a normal massage or wellness session should look like. But Sunkanmi took the job because the pay was really good. He said it was too much money to turn down, and we needed it for the business.
That entire weekend, he was unreachable. I tried calling, I tried texting, nothing. He’d go hours without responding, and when he did, it was short and dismissive. I was worried, frustrated, and honestly, suspicious. By the time he came back, I was convinced something had happened.
Sunkanmi: It was an intense weekend. The couple had booked me for multiple sessions throughout the day, and in between, I rested or prepared for the next session. I wasn’t on my phone much because I was focused on the job. When I finally checked my phone and saw all her messages, I knew she was upset. But I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.
Did you confront him, Ife?
Ife: As soon as he got back. I told him I didn’t trust what had happened that weekend. I told him I thought something inappropriate had happened and that I needed him to be honest with me. He got defensive immediately and said I was accusing him of infidelity, and worse, accusing him of doing things with a man, which he found insulting.
Sunkanmi: The fact that she immediately jumped to infidelity, and specifically to something involving the husband, felt like she didn’t trust me at all.
How did you guys resolve the fight?
Ife: It took time, and it wasn’t easy. We had to sit down multiple times and have very difficult conversations about trust and boundaries. I explained to him that my concerns weren’t just about that one weekend, even if it brought everything to a head. The lack of boundaries with female clients, the overfamiliarity, the late-night texting, and the way he handled certain situations made me uncomfortable.
Sunkanmi: At first, I was too defensive to hear her properly. But once I calmed down, I started to understand where she was coming from. She had legitimate concerns about how I was conducting myself with clients. I needed to take those concerns seriously.
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Right. Has that issue caused any more problems in your relationship?
Ife: Things have changed in how we operate. I’m now more in charge of booking clients and vetting them thoroughly before we accept any jobs. If I suspect any foul play or if something doesn’t sit right with me about a particular client or booking, I cancel it. I don’t care how much money they’re offering to pay us.
Sunkanmi doesn’t always like it when I turn down good money, but he respects my decision because he knows why we’re in this position in the first place.
Sunkanmi: It bothers me that she feels like she has to monitor the bookings and vet every client before I interact with them. But I also understand her concerns. So I’m trying to be patient and work through it with her.
Curious, Sunkanmi. How exactly are you working through it?
Sunkanmi: I’ve had to learn what appropriate boundaries actually look like with clients, especially female clients. I don’t respond to messages late at night anymore unless it’s a genuine emergency that can’t wait. I don’t entertain conversations that aren’t directly related to the service we’re providing or the booking they’re making. I keep things professional and focused. It’s been an adjustment for me because I’m naturally a friendly person, but I know it’s necessary if I want this relationship with Ife to work.
Ife: I can see that he’s making a genuine effort to change his behaviour and rebuild my trust. It’s not perfect, and there are still moments when my anxiety kicks in, and I worry about what’s happening when I’m not there. That said, we’re moving in the right direction, and I can feel the difference.
Do you still enjoy working together, or has the tension in the relationship affected the business?
Ife: We’ve turned down some lucrative opportunities because I didn’t feel comfortable with them, and that’s cost us money. But I’d rather lose money than lose the relationship. The business is important, but it’s not more important than our trust and our peace of mind.
Sunkanmi: I still enjoy working with her. We complement each other well professionally. She brings skills and expertise that I don’t have, and vice versa. If anything, it’s made me realise how important it is that we’re aligned on how we run the business and how we treat our clients.
Fair enough. What’s the best thing about being with each other?
Sunkanmi: I value Ife a lot. She’s intelligent, hardworking, and dedicated to her craft. She challenges me to be better, both in business and in life. She doesn’t let me get away with things, and even though that can be frustrating sometimes, I know it’s because she cares. She wants us to succeed together, and she’s not willing to compromise on her standards. I respect that about her.
Ife: Sunkanmi is ambitious. He has a vision for what he wants to build, and he’s willing to work for it. That’s something I admire. He’s also able to overlook some of my flaws and my moments of insecurity. He doesn’t hold grudges, and he’s willing to have difficult conversations even when they’re uncomfortable. That’s not easy to find in a partner.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?
Sunkanmi: I’d give it a 7. We’re not where I want us to be yet, but we’re working toward it.
Ife: I’d also say 7. It’s not perfect, and we’ve been through some difficult moments. But I’m still here, and he’s still here. We’re both committed to making this work.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
