If you’ve stayed long enough on the relationship side of Obasanjo’s internet, you’ll know all about catfishing. But that term now has a lite version called “Kittenfishing”.

While the former is full-fledged deception, the latter is more about when someone presents a carefully edited version of themselves to you. Not exactly lying, but leaving out the parts that don’t make them sound great. These Nigerians can relate.

“I walked past him because I didn’t recognise him” — Tolu*, 25

I matched with this guy on Tinder, and what really got me was his long dreads. Every picture had them, and I loved the look. So when we agreed to meet, I got there and literally walked past him. I didn’t recognise him at all. When he called me back, I was confused. My first question was, ‘Where are your dreads?’ He started laughing and said he cut them two years ago. I was annoyed because that’s what attracted me in the first place. I almost left, but he had good vibes, so I stayed.

“I didn’t realise it was all push-up bras” — Kunle*, 31

I won’t lie, I like boobs, so that was what pulled me in. This girl’s chest looked very full in all her pictures, and even when we met, it looked the same. I was very attracted to her because of that. We went on dates for about a month before we finally got intimate, and that’s when I realised everything I thought I saw wasn’t real. It was all push-up bras. I didn’t know how to react. I pulled back after that, and when she kept asking why, I had to tell her the truth.

“He had a much smaller size” — David*, 27

I met this guy on Grindr, and if I’m being honest, I only entertained him because of his d*ck size. We exchanged pictures a few times, and it was very obvious he was packing. That was the whole appeal. So when we finally planned to hook up, I was actually excited. But when we met, it was a completely different story. His size was nowhere near what he’d shown me. I just lost interest instantly. It killed the mood so badly. I didn’t even argue, I just left and blocked him.

“He was a plus-size dude” —Aramide, 29

I met this guy through a family friend and we started talking almost immediately. I checked him out on IG, and I liked what I saw. In my head, I was like, “I don see my spec.” We continued talking for a while, and he would only send selfies when I asked for pictures. 

Some months later, I had something to do in Lagos, so I used the opportunity to meet him. When I saw him, he was twice or three times the size of the person in the pictures I had been seeing. I was utterly shocked. But what could I do? I just went along with the flow.

“The filters did more work than I realised” — Femi*, 32

I slid into this girl’s DMs because she looked really pretty. You could tell she used filters, but it didn’t seem excessive, so I didn’t think much of it. We spoke for a while and planned a date. When I saw her in person, she still looked good, but I noticed she had tribal marks; three on each cheek. I was honestly surprised because none of her pictures showed that. I tried not to react, but it threw me off a bit. We kept talking after, but I didn’t take it further.

“I thought she had a celebrity connect” — Sadiq*, 24

I got close to this babe because she claimed she was friends with a celebrity I was trying to book for a school talk show. She’d send pictures with him, talk like it was nothing, so I believed her. Because of that, I even entertained her flirting, even though I wasn’t really interested. One day, she invited me to the celebrity’s event. That’s when I realised the truth; she was just tagging along with the stylist and didn’t actually know him. She was even famzing him there. I was so irritated. After that, I stopped replying her.

“He only posted face and angled pictures”— Mariam*, 30

I met this guy on a WhatsApp singles community, and from his pictures, he looked slim and well put together. Nothing crazy, just a normal fine boy. We spoke for weeks before deciding to meet. When I got there, I was genuinely shocked. He was much bigger than I expected. Not just chubby, but significantly overweight. I tried not to react, but it threw me off because it felt intentionally hidden. He only posted face and angled pictures. The conversation was awkward after that because I couldn’t shake the surprise.

“He looked way older than his pictures” — Tife*, 26

I matched with this guy on Bumble, and his pictures made him look like he was in his late twenties. Clean skin, sharp jawline, everything. When we met, I had to double-check I was with the right person. He looked much older, like mid to late 40s. The difference was very obvious. Even his energy felt different from what I expected. I didn’t confront him about it, but I couldn’t get past the feeling that I’d been misled. The date didn’t go beyond that first meeting.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.