Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

Fatima* (26) and Toba* (29) met in July 2025 at an amusement park in Lagos. 

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about the embarrassing moment that led to their first interaction, why he initially hesitated to pursue a relationship with her, and her decision to date someone who doesn’t fit her usual type.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Fatima: We met at a Lagos amusement park in July 2025. I was supposed to go with my friends, but they bailed at the last minute. I decided to go alone since I’d already booked my ticket. Toba was seated beside me on one of the rides. 

When it started spinning and going really fast, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I wasn’t mentally prepared for how intense and aggressive it would be. Then the absolute worst thing that could happen happened: my wig flew off. It went flying through the air. I was mortified beyond words. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. 

When the ride finally stopped, and we got off, I was so disoriented, dizzy, and nauseous from the spinning that I threw up right there. It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life. But he stepped in to check on me. He offered me water and heaped sand on my vomit. It was the nicest gesture I’d gotten from a stranger in a really long time.

Toba: I was at the park with my brother, nephew, and nieces. Just a random weekend outing with family. We were trying different rides, having fun. I noticed Fatima when she sat beside me on one of the rides. In my head, I was like “Damn! Who’s this pretty babe?” But it was just a passing thought, not like I planned to make a move or anything. 

After the whole throwing-up episode, I felt concerned for her. My family tried to make sure she was comfortable. Then we left to try other attractions with my nieces and nephews, but I kept thinking about her, wondering if she was okay. So I came back to check on her. I did this two more times. By the third time I came back, she seemed much more settled and stable.

Fatima: When he came back the third time, he asked me to join his family for the rest of the day. On a normal day, I would have immediately turned down an invitation like that from a stranger. But at that point, after how kind he’d been, it didn’t seem harmful. I said yes.

Toba: We spent the rest of the day together at the park. My nieces and my nephew liked her. When it was time to leave, my brother insisted we drop Fatima off at home since her place was on our route. That’s when we exchanged contact information.

Sounds like the perfect meet up. What happened after that day?

Toba: I went snooping around Fatima’s Instagram. I just wanted to get a sense of her personality. Plus, I wanted to see more pictures of her. I liked everything I saw, and she ticked all my boxes physically. But despite all of that, I didn’t reach out. 

She’s a pretty babe, and I know from years of experience and observation that pretty girls are always hard to chase. They have multiple guys in their DMs trying to talk to them, and they’re used to receiving attention and compliments from all directions. I wasn’t in the right headspace to do that kind of heavy chasing at that time, as I was in the middle of preparing for very important professional exams.  So I moved on.

I see. Did you try to reach out, Fatima? 

Fatima: About a week after the park incident, I texted Toba. I apologised for not thanking him properly earlier for helping me that day. Honestly, I’d actually forgotten to reach out. The whole experience at the park was so embarrassing and overwhelming that I didn’t really process or think about the part where I’d received help from Toba and his family. When I finally remembered days later, I texted him immediately to say thank you.

Toba: When she texted, I used that opportunity to get closer since she’d reached out first. I tried to keep the conversation going beyond her “thank you” message. I’d randomly text her throughout the week about different things. Soon, we were talking regularly, and we developed a friendship.

Fatima: Was it exactly a friendship? Toba wanted more, and I could already tell from his behaviour. He would ask questions about my love life, whether I was seeing anyone, and what I was looking for. Or he’d randomly bring up his own relationship history even when I hadn’t asked. It was obvious where his mind was.

Right. So how did things progress over time, especially with your knowledge about his interest in you?

Fatima: Around August, my birthday was coming up. I was planning a potluck at my place with friends and some people I’d gotten close to. I invited Toba. I wasn’t sure if he’d come, but I extended the invitation anyway. He showed up with so many gifts. Like, an excessive amount of gifts. It was really cute and thoughtful, and some of my friends noticed. I remember one of them pressing me about who he was, and I just waved her aside.

Toba: I wanted to make a good impression. I wanted her to know I was serious about getting to know her better, even though I still hadn’t explicitly told her how I felt. I was still building up the courage. But that didn’t even last long because she legit hit me up to ask what the deal was.

Fatima: I really wanted to know his plan. I’m not a fan of stringing each other along. I like it when intentions are clear from the very beginning. Plus, I was already tired of the subtle hints and the whole dance. 

After I confronted him, he confessed his feelings. He told me he liked me and wanted us to be in a relationship.

Did he get a yes? 

Fatima: Not immediately. If I’m being completely transparent, by looks alone, Toba didn’t fit my spec. He looked nothing like my ex. I’ve always been very drawn to physical appearance and aesthetics in the men I date. My exes were all conventionally attractive, the kind of guys people would literally stop and stare at when they walked into a room. But every single one of those relationships came with serious, recurring problems. 

It was either that they cheated on me with multiple women or I was constantly insecure when I saw other women around them.  I didn’t like the version of myself in those relationships. So after my last relationship, I made a mental note that whoever I dated next wouldn’t be conventionally attractive. Good looking, but not someone who’ll draw too much attention to himself. Toba wasn’t ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but he wasn’t what I’d call too good-looking or conventionally gorgeous either. He also wasn’t particularly muscular or built like the gym bros I used to date.

Ouch. 

Toba: I actually brought this up myself once during one of our conversations. I told her I’d combed through her social media and seen the kind of guys she used to roll with. I knew I didn’t look like them. That was actually another reason I’d hesitated to pursue her. I made a joke about it, about how I knew I wasn’t her usual type physically.

Fatima: I found it really cute that he could joke about himself like that. He had self-awareness and confidence despite knowing he didn’t fit my usual spec. That actually made him more attractive to me. It showed emotional maturity. By September, I gave him a yes. I could have said yes the same month he asked, but I just wanted him to do a little more chasing. 

Fair enough. What were the early days of the relationship like? 

Fatima: We’re not up to a year yet, so I think it’s safe to say we’re still in the early days. The relationship has been good overall. I genuinely think I made the right decision. I trust him in a way I couldn’t trust my previous partners. I’m not constantly stressed about his whereabouts or who he’s talking to.  He’s kind, loving and intentional. 

Toba: Everything she said. And I think something she forgot to mention is her relationship with my family. I don’t think I’ve dated anyone who they’ve received so openly. It’s either there’s one complaint or the other. But everyone seems to love Fatima. We’ve had our moments, though. We had a significant fight once over a situation with one of Fatima’s friends.

Oh. Tell me about that.

Fatima: I’d confided in Toba about something that one of my close friends had said to me. This friend, someone I’d known for years, had made some comments about how Toba wasn’t fine or attractive enough for me. Honestly, she didn’t mean it that way. It was something I could have said as well. It was just normal girl-to-girl banter. We have a way of ranking guys based on their looks and style. I casually mentioned it to Toba because I didn’t think he’d get upset about it. But he did. 

Toba: It was a mix of different reasons. I’d been super nice to the babe, and she’d always shine her teeth whenever I came around. It was weird to think she’d say something like that about me, and even suggest that Fatima shouldn’t have agreed to date me. I would have let it slide, but she’s a constant in Fatima’s life, and I wouldn’t be able to carry on with the pretence if I didn’t say how I felt. I reached out to her privately and gave her a piece of my mind. But Fatima didn’t like that.

Fatima: I was disappointed. I felt like he’d crossed a boundary. I’d shared that information with him in confidence as my partner, not as an invitation for him to go and confront my friend. It led to a whole lot of back-and-forth between us. We argued about boundaries, about how to handle situations like that, about what’s appropriate and what’s not. I think it also made me realise that he could take a lot of jokes about his looks from me, but not from other people.

Toba: We resolved it after a lot of communication. But I don’t speak to that friend anymore. 

Curious, Toba. Was it really about her comment or the fact that she tried to sabotage your relationship?

Toba: The latter. I  don’t let comments or criticisms about my looks get to me anymore. Not even a little bit. I was bullied extensively in secondary school and throughout university because of my physical appearance. But I’ve developed extremely thick skin over all those years of dealing with it. Funny thing is, I’ve consistently dated women who are significantly prettier and more attractive than people who troll me. So people’s opinions and judgments don’t hold any real weight.

Fatima: That confidence is part of what attracted me to him. He knows who he is. He’s not trying to prove anything to anyone.

Sweet. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

Toba: Fatima is beautiful, intelligent, and she chose me despite what everyone else thought. She looked past the surface and saw my value. That means everything to me. I wake up every day wanting to prove that she made the right choice.

Fatima: I have genuine peace in this relationship that I never had before. I’m not constantly anxious or insecure. I’m not worried about him cheating or leaving me for someone else. I can just exist and be happy. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Fatima: I’d give it an 8. We’re still relatively new, but it’s been really good so far. 

Toba: I’d say 8 as well. We have a strong foundation, we communicate well, and we’re building something solid. I’m excited about where we’re headed.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

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